(no subject)
In six months i will have decided what it is i want for myself. Do i want to continue here waitressing? Maybe in a few months ill feel different. Maybe i wont. The thing is, maybe this is the motivation i need to get out and be myself and find my own and not get stuck here. All i want to do is go crawl and cry into my mothers arms but shes not here. I feel like barfing. A lot of things make me sick. My cousin asked if she was getting married. God that makes me sick. Sometimes i just want to go back to cutting. I think that if i end my life now, how happy ill be and the stress i wont have to deal with. Once again, not even I know if this is just talk or if im for real this time. I just contimplate so much.