Tuesday, 10 August and Wednesday, 11 August 2021: Visiting David.
John is picking me up tomorrow about 10:00 a.m., and we are driving up to Reading, PA, (pronounced Redding) to see my oldest son, David, in Reading Hospital. This will be the third Wednesday in row that we have gone up to see him; he is in very poor condition.
David is the oldest of my three sons. I had my 19th birthday in October of 1956; David was born in January of 1957, so he is 64. He is unlikely to celebrate another birthday. He had a stroke about three years ago, but it is Parkinson's Disease (Note 1.) that is killing him.
David is bed-ridden, with all the complications that causes.
This picture was taken in mid-July; when we saw him last Wednesday, he did not look nearly this well. The parts of his body that were visible...his face and his arms...were dotted with fresh bleeds, spots where, apparently, the skin just broke and that were in the process of healing. I didn't take a picture: it was not a sight I wanted to remember. Besides the distress of seeing those sites, he was much less responsive. He tried to interact with us, but kept drifting off.
John and I did not see his doctor or talk to the nurses at the Nurse's station; I'm going to try to remedy that this time. (11 August: I didn't.) No news they could give me would be more alarming than just seeing him.
I am thankful John will take me to see David once a week. As painful as the visit is, I would be in worse straits if I couldn't get to Reading on my own...and I couldn't. The trip would entail a taxi to 69th Street to catch a bus to Reading, then another taxi from the bus station to Reading Hospital. The bus trip itself is three hours long, bracketed by the two taxi rides. If I had to do it, I'd stay overnight in Reading and see David two days in a row. I'd be doing all that by myself, without John there to support me. I am so grateful. FanSee
Update, 11 August 2021. I'm back from John's and my visit with David in Reading Hospital. Physically David seemed to be in about the same condition as he was last week: not at all better, at least a little worse. He never once raised his head from the pillow; I don't remember even one flicker of a smile. Emotionally, he is worn down to the bone.
The blood spots on his hospital gown are from little bleeds on his torso that occurred during our two-hour visit. My guess is that the new bandaging on his arm is also to keep that skin from breaking down; he had spontaneous bleeding around his fingernails. Additionally, his kidneys are failing, so the end must not be too far off.
Today was David's last day in Reading Hospital; tomorrow he will be transferred to hospice care. He isn't getting better, ever.
While we were there, David's wife, Lauri, and his younger son, Justin, joined us. I usually tell Lauri to take the day off when we visit, but this time I think she wanted to see us. She asked us to come out into the hall with her so we could talk, but I stayed with David while she, John, and Justin left the room. I think that was a good move. John said that after Justin (Note 2.) left them and took his iPad to a nearby waiting room, Lauri broke down and cried in John's arms. We have never been close to her...or she to us...but on our part, at least, there is no malice involved, just little understanding of what she values or does not value.
If we lived closer to Womelsdorf, PA, we could pop in for visits to David more often, but the hour-and-a-half drive is a hurdle. I no longer drive...my slow reaction time make me a menace on the road...but I really wouldn't want to visit David without John's support anyway. FanSee
Note 1: Parkinson's disease (PD) is a neurodegenerative disease. PD may cause a tremor, slowness of movement, stiffness, and other symptoms that typically worsen gradually over time. The underlying cause of PD is not fully understood but may result from damage to nerve cells in the brain (neurons) that produce dopamine, the chemical that helps regulate and control body movements. As more nerve cells become damaged, dopamine levels begin to drop, resulting in PD symptoms.
Note 2: Justin is the younger of David and Lauri's two sons. He is 31, on the autistic spectrum, and a big, strong...if uncoordinated...guy. He does not drive, Womelsdorf, PA is no bigger than a dot on the map, so all the responsibility for running the household, including all the shopping, falls on Lauri. Justin is devoted to David. I am hopeful that he understands how David's illness is going to end. Perhaps John knows.
David is the oldest of my three sons. I had my 19th birthday in October of 1956; David was born in January of 1957, so he is 64. He is unlikely to celebrate another birthday. He had a stroke about three years ago, but it is Parkinson's Disease (Note 1.) that is killing him.
David is bed-ridden, with all the complications that causes.
This picture was taken in mid-July; when we saw him last Wednesday, he did not look nearly this well. The parts of his body that were visible...his face and his arms...were dotted with fresh bleeds, spots where, apparently, the skin just broke and that were in the process of healing. I didn't take a picture: it was not a sight I wanted to remember. Besides the distress of seeing those sites, he was much less responsive. He tried to interact with us, but kept drifting off.
John and I did not see his doctor or talk to the nurses at the Nurse's station; I'm going to try to remedy that this time. (11 August: I didn't.) No news they could give me would be more alarming than just seeing him.
I am thankful John will take me to see David once a week. As painful as the visit is, I would be in worse straits if I couldn't get to Reading on my own...and I couldn't. The trip would entail a taxi to 69th Street to catch a bus to Reading, then another taxi from the bus station to Reading Hospital. The bus trip itself is three hours long, bracketed by the two taxi rides. If I had to do it, I'd stay overnight in Reading and see David two days in a row. I'd be doing all that by myself, without John there to support me. I am so grateful. FanSee
Update, 11 August 2021. I'm back from John's and my visit with David in Reading Hospital. Physically David seemed to be in about the same condition as he was last week: not at all better, at least a little worse. He never once raised his head from the pillow; I don't remember even one flicker of a smile. Emotionally, he is worn down to the bone.
The blood spots on his hospital gown are from little bleeds on his torso that occurred during our two-hour visit. My guess is that the new bandaging on his arm is also to keep that skin from breaking down; he had spontaneous bleeding around his fingernails. Additionally, his kidneys are failing, so the end must not be too far off.
Today was David's last day in Reading Hospital; tomorrow he will be transferred to hospice care. He isn't getting better, ever.
While we were there, David's wife, Lauri, and his younger son, Justin, joined us. I usually tell Lauri to take the day off when we visit, but this time I think she wanted to see us. She asked us to come out into the hall with her so we could talk, but I stayed with David while she, John, and Justin left the room. I think that was a good move. John said that after Justin (Note 2.) left them and took his iPad to a nearby waiting room, Lauri broke down and cried in John's arms. We have never been close to her...or she to us...but on our part, at least, there is no malice involved, just little understanding of what she values or does not value.
If we lived closer to Womelsdorf, PA, we could pop in for visits to David more often, but the hour-and-a-half drive is a hurdle. I no longer drive...my slow reaction time make me a menace on the road...but I really wouldn't want to visit David without John's support anyway. FanSee
Note 1: Parkinson's disease (PD) is a neurodegenerative disease. PD may cause a tremor, slowness of movement, stiffness, and other symptoms that typically worsen gradually over time. The underlying cause of PD is not fully understood but may result from damage to nerve cells in the brain (neurons) that produce dopamine, the chemical that helps regulate and control body movements. As more nerve cells become damaged, dopamine levels begin to drop, resulting in PD symptoms.
Note 2: Justin is the younger of David and Lauri's two sons. He is 31, on the autistic spectrum, and a big, strong...if uncoordinated...guy. He does not drive, Womelsdorf, PA is no bigger than a dot on the map, so all the responsibility for running the household, including all the shopping, falls on Lauri. Justin is devoted to David. I am hopeful that he understands how David's illness is going to end. Perhaps John knows.