emo-whinge alert!
Tonight was SUPPOSED to be Part One of Cramming for the Russian Lit Midterm On Wednesday, Because Tomorrow Is Going to Be Busy and I Won't Have Hours to Dedicate to Studying.
This was well and fully shut-down by the not-quite-panic attack I got on the drive home. It was actually more of a, to sound like an emo-kid, wave of despair and existentialism. And even referring to it as that makes me want to beat myself for sounding so... emo.
Anybody familiar with Nietzsche's Nausea and its theory on existentialism? Yeah. THAT's what hit me as I was pulling off of I-75, half an hour from home. I'll refer to it as a "funk," which is the term we use when Andrew's bipolar slips into the depression stage.
I basically came home, told people as nicely as I could to leave me alone, and shut myself in my bedroom, with the lights off, for three hours. Some of that was spent online-- which helped-- and some of that was spent dozing and moping. The worst part is, the listlessness and despair is still clinging like oil and I -have- the means to work past it, I just don't WANT to. There doesn't seem to be any reason to want to work past it because really... what's the point? (Answer according to Nietzsche: There ISN'T one) (We shan't delve further into existentialism with Camus' response because I don't feel like taking the initiative to be positive. Grr)
Hopefully, it'll be done by tomorrow. Everybody goes through ups and downs and I just needed somewhere to whine about it. My LJ is used to my whining ;)
This was well and fully shut-down by the not-quite-panic attack I got on the drive home. It was actually more of a, to sound like an emo-kid, wave of despair and existentialism. And even referring to it as that makes me want to beat myself for sounding so... emo.
Anybody familiar with Nietzsche's Nausea and its theory on existentialism? Yeah. THAT's what hit me as I was pulling off of I-75, half an hour from home. I'll refer to it as a "funk," which is the term we use when Andrew's bipolar slips into the depression stage.
I basically came home, told people as nicely as I could to leave me alone, and shut myself in my bedroom, with the lights off, for three hours. Some of that was spent online-- which helped-- and some of that was spent dozing and moping. The worst part is, the listlessness and despair is still clinging like oil and I -have- the means to work past it, I just don't WANT to. There doesn't seem to be any reason to want to work past it because really... what's the point? (Answer according to Nietzsche: There ISN'T one) (We shan't delve further into existentialism with Camus' response because I don't feel like taking the initiative to be positive. Grr)
Hopefully, it'll be done by tomorrow. Everybody goes through ups and downs and I just needed somewhere to whine about it. My LJ is used to my whining ;)