Luke's, Friday

[lovemykilt]

Priestly was feeling a little bit . . . odd today. Nothing he could quite put his finger on, but his temper was definitely shorter than usual, especially with the kitchen staff.

"Really?" Priestly picked a shrimp out of the seafood paella the cook had whipped up and flicked it across the room. "Everything in here is overcooked. Are you an

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[hatesmoststuff]

"What's up your butt?" April wondered, strolling into the diner with a water gun over one arm. Feel free to ask, Priestly.

Or not. It might be safer to not.

[lovemykilt]

"My incompetent staff," Priestly growled. Ooo, there could be an inter-office relationship subplot! He nodded to the gun. "You going to war or something?"

Look, AUs could have anything. It was best not to assume.

[hatesmoststuff]

"Got you this," she said, and she tossed it over to him. Her aim was... decent, but there was still a chance it would hit the floor if Priestly's reflexes weren't at least passably good.

The water gun was filled with frozen yogurt.

"Want me to freak out the staff for you?" she offered.

[lovemykilt]

Priestly caught it easily -- he could do a lot of things better, today, even if not being an ass wasn't one of them. "Sweet!" He hefted it in his hand, then popped up into what the fic writer thought was a great gun stance, including holding the gun sideways. "And hell yeah, they could use someone to whip them into shape. I'd do it myself, but they might get a little too excited by that, if you know what I mean."

[hatesmoststuff]

"I don't," April said, but she swept her hair behind her ears anyway and set off toward the staff.

She leaned over the counter and growled, in a low, dangerous voice, "Hey, maggots. Priestly told you to get your asses in gear, and if you don't do that, I swear to god I'm going to murder you in your sleep. I know where you live - Serendipity Place, right? I'm gonna get a melonballer and scoop your eyeballs out and eat them, and you're going to have to get dogs to drive your blind, eyeless faces around. Do you understand me?"

With that, she leaned forward and kissed the busboy on the forehead, then shoved him backwards. "Do it."

Then she strolled back to Priestly, wiping her mouth off on the back of her hand. "Think it worked."

[lovemykilt]

Priestly was just kind of staring in aw at that. "Yeah. Yeah, I think maybe it did."

[hatesmoststuff]

"I'm pretty good at that kind of thing," April assured him, and she reached to reclaim the water gun from him just for a moment, so that she could shoot some fro-yo at the busboy's retreating back as motivation. "Happy to help."

[lovemykilt]

"That was definitely impressive," Priestly said. "For a girl."

You know, 'cause he was an asshole, today.

[hatesmoststuff]

April raised an eyebrow at him. "And you're pretty wimpy and useless," she said. "For a fella."

[lovemykilt]

"Hey," Priestly said, snapping instantly to pissed, 'cause HIS MANHOOD, OKAY? "I'm an artist."

[hatesmoststuff]

"You're being awfully fucknuggety for an artist," April noted mildly.

[lovemykilt]

"All artists have tempers," Priestly said. "And egos."

That explained all of it. Really it did.

[hatesmoststuff]

"Dude, show, don't tell," April said. But the temper wasn't putting her off that much, really. She was kind of just rolling with it. "Obviously my eyeball melonballer thing goes for you too if you annoy me."

[lovemykilt]

Priestly rolled his eyes. "Whatever. I'm going to have to close this place down until I get more reviews on it, anyway."

Wait, what?

[hatesmoststuff]

"...Okay."

What, did he think she was going to ask for elaboration? Actually, she thought he was weird for telling her at all. She was giving him a creepy look now.

[lovemykilt]

". . . So you going to review the place, or what?"

HE NEEDED FIFTY REVIEWS OR HE WAS SHUTTING THIS PLACE DOWN.