Public: Mayoral Candidate Platform

[charlotteschaos]

Char sat at the glass table in the kitchen, drinking orange juice as a proper mummy should. She was thrilled not only that miints was happy about their ickle bundle of lovechild, but that she'd been nominated to be mayor. In fact, she was so pleased, she'd only pimp slapped emmagrant01 once all week, and hadn't even bothered to shake down the whore house yet.

She definitely had that motherly glow.

Or maybe she was just flush from all of the cockslapping.

Pulling out her pen, she began to write out what she stood for.

Campaign platform:

• Booze & whores: I'm a traditional politician
  
• Same-sex pregnancy: his colon, his choice
  
• You will call me master.
  
• Calls Snape/Ron Rape and Weasleycest will henceforth be called Spotted Dick.
  
• I'll keep Harry gay.
  
• Grants equal rights to Mary Sues, as we need someone to make fun of.
  
• Will tax other pimps out of business.
  
• More crackfic, more fun!
  
• Will declare war on any fandom-based rp should they have something that we wantses.
  
• Mandatory coffee enemas.
  
• Netspeak will henceforth be outlawed unless used in an ironic manner.
  
• Promises to encounter every problem with the phrase, "This sounds like a job for charsboner!"
  
• The blood of the unbelievers will flow.
  
• A cockslap for every whore and a spanking for every naughty girl.
  
• Clean streets make for less porn: I won't clean anything. I don't do Windows anyway.
  
• Less wank of the unsexy kind.
  

What I can bring to you:
Nothing, really. I just want the ego boost.
Happiness!

Remember kids, vote for Char is a vote for corruption in politics: like god intended. Don't make the baby Jesus cry.



by kungfooqueen


by alittlemoan


by slayara


by danhunter




by miintsy fresh




by emmagrant01


by charlotteschaos