Conspiracy Theories - Period 2, Wednesday

Jul 22, 2015 09:37

"Today we're going to discuss the 'faked' moon landings," Washington informed the class once they were seated. "Because an entire government agency, Russia, and Hollywood could keep that a secret if it were true ( Read more... )

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Re: Student Presentation - Face gavegoodface July 22 2015, 16:01:42 UTC
Face was dressed soberly as he stood at the front of the class, a deeply serious expression on his face.

"Gentlebeings," he said. "Today I bring you a deeply unsettling tale. A story of talent, untimely death, and lingering mysteries, as we try to uncover the fate of one of the galaxy's most brightly shining stars."

He fiddled with a control and a still of a young, adorable boy appeared on the screen behind him, anyone paying attention may have felt some vague sense of familiarity. "Born on Pantolomin, Garik Loran was one of the foremost child stars of his era." Again, those paying attention may have picked up on some similarites here. Subtle ones. "Even from a young age, his obvious talent, abundant charm, and work ethic were clear outstripping most of his peer, leaving some, such as one Tetran Cowell completely in the dust, and elevating even the most dire material. Which given he was working mainly in Imperial Propaganda holodramas, says more for his skill than I ever could.

"But tragedy struck, shortly after this image was taken," Face fiddled with another control, and a photo of what was unmistakably a slightly younger, unscarred Face staring soulfully into the lens, a mop of dark curls haloing his face. It had taken a lot of time to find the least ridiculous shot from that set. "Now a teenager, Loran was kidnapped by rebel insurgents and killed, making headlines across the Empire. But that is where our tale takes a turn, for barely had the story broken, when it was knocked from the headlines by a new story. Where yet another group of rebels had somehow destroyed an new Imperial space station. This is the start of the Loran Conspiracy."

Face looked around the class. "You may ask, what conspiracy? News stories break all the time, surely this was just a coincidence. But if you scratch the surface, the destruction of this so-called 'Death Star' makes no sense, the pinnacle of Imperial military might, destroyed by a single shot from a single X-Wing fighter? Clearly it didn't happen because there was no Death Star, the whole thing was a media hoax designed to distract from Loran's kidnapping and death. Because Loran did not die, instead he was forced to undergo dark Jedi rituals, which gave him powers beyond those of ordinary humans, but at the cost of his memories, and after breaking free of his captors, he now roams the galaxy, righting wrongs wherever he may find them."

Or he'd learned how evil the Empire was from his kidnappers, accidentally been shot in the face by his 'rescuers', faked his death, gone to high school in another dimension, and was now attempting to troll his teacher. But what were the chances of that happening?

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Re: Student Presentation - Face worstofalltime July 22 2015, 20:30:56 UTC
"Seriously." WASH REGRETTED PLACING HIS TRUST IN YOU, FACE.

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Re: Student Presentation - Face gavegoodface July 22 2015, 20:40:56 UTC
Face looked at Wash, all innocence. "Seriously."

It wasn't like anything he'd said before the words 'Loran Conspiracy' was a lie.

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Re: Student Presentation - Face worstofalltime July 22 2015, 20:48:51 UTC
"First of all 'Death Star' is a terrible name for anything other than a heavy metal band," Wash said. "And second, it's not a conspiracy if you're right here."

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Re: Student Presentation - Face gavegoodface July 22 2015, 20:59:43 UTC
"The Empire doesn't do subtle well." Would Wash like Face to play the clip of his death scene from Win or Die as proof? Or he could act it out, you don't forget lines like that.

"It's artistic licence," he said. "Dark Jedi powers and a quest for justice sounds more dramatic than some stormtroopers kriffed up and shot the hostage."

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Re: Student Presentation - Face worstofalltime July 22 2015, 21:03:50 UTC
No, but playing it anyway would just make him more annoyed. Which is why it ought to happen.

Wash just had to sigh. "Stormtroopers?"

His expression said everything about that name. It was nowhere near as cool as Freelancer.

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Re: Student Presentation - Face gavegoodface July 22 2015, 21:10:54 UTC
Freelancers could probably aim better too. Well, they couldn't aim worse.

"Like I said, they don't do subtle well." He cued up the clip. "See?"

So the whole class got to see tiny Face's character get shot in the back by his father, then spent an unrealistically long time dying tragically in the Emperor's arms while begging him not to let his death be in vain. It was all very poignant. Just not because of the writing.

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Re: Student Presentation - Face worstofalltime July 22 2015, 21:15:32 UTC
Yes, he really should have bled out before the end of that monologue. Then again, movies.

"Remind me to never go where you're from."

And not just because people might think he was a Mandalorian. He didn't even know what that was.

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Re: Student Presentation - Face gavegoodface July 22 2015, 21:21:38 UTC
Given how many takes it took for the director to be happy, Face had almost been wishing he'd bled out by the end of it.

"There are good holos there, just not ones where the Empire had to approve the script."

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Re: Student Presentation - Face worstofalltime July 22 2015, 21:25:14 UTC
It would have been a mercy, that's true.

"I'll keep that in mind."

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