Fandom Radio [Saturday, May 29, 2010]
Well hello to you, my favorite little tuxedoed squirrel! It's just you, me, and this microphone for radio, so all you listeners out there can lie back, relax, and try not to choke on anything while your very own Dean Barney Stinson updates you on the who's doing who of Fandom.
SCHOOL
It seems the same loser was stuck at the library this Saturday as last week. Kid, I recommend a better weekend hobby. Books are lonely and don't involve supple breasts. Though not with our current librarian unless she's hiding a bod behind shaggy man-hair.
CABINS
Over in our fine, air conditioned cabins, Tino's favorite slore who looks like a mini version of that hot teen I got with one fine New Year's Eve was busy making out with Chuck Bass while puppies watched in the background. I tell you, fun times are to be had in those senior cabins. Freshman should be sure to don protective eyewear before entering. Consider yourselves warned.
Layla Miller and Hannibal got down and dirty in front of a campfire with the help of a jar of marshmallow creme. Rosalind was looking for a big strong man to light her campfire and a very shirtless Jacob was willing to give it up like a free romance novel. Wishing he'd been first to the fireless pit of Rosalind's burning desire, Alex K pitched a bitch about it being too hot anyway. At least Didi was rational enough to realize girl on girl in the lingering heat of the evening? Better kind of hot to be had. Claudia and Dana had the same idea and, armed with specialized tools, headed into the woods. We'll all hope they found the shack even while they fumbled, flashlight-free through the forest while others looked on.
...Or more than looked on. What are you trying to do here, three-piece squirrel, write the great American novel? *sighing* There are like, five pages of notes describing the onlookers that I will now condense for you, Barnacle-style. Blah blah, something about Christian and construction and hermits from long ago, blah blah blah. Then Ino shows and it's all physics and destruction and talk of the clinic and blah. I liked the first page best.
TOWN
Down in Fandom Town, tuxedo squirrel shares that everyone's favorite hot blonde Shelley was painting her toenails in the nude on a balcony at MCA...and how am I just hearing about this now? Failure, my tuxedoed friend, epic failure! In other nude if late news, Hiccup and Toothless went fishing and got their skinny dipping baggage talk on with Ender. Why complain about the baggage? Best day of the year is the day I know if a woman's sporting daddy issues or a desperate desire to just feel loved! Mmm, good day, my people, good day.
The working beat gives us a trio of bored people. My advice? Strip down, people will show up for the show. Maybe some local sorostitutes will be in need of a lawyer to sue their stalker exes and then you can be that helpful man who files their paperwork, Roy Harper. So the junk yard's not a happening place for chicks, advertise a sale of shiny objects and Marcus, I guarantee your dumb blondes will come in droves. Heh, come. Just ask Fred, who thinks someone sending him Twinkies when he works at a gym...dude, that's just wrong. Stick with the plan - make a long-term investment in a fattie and watch her trim up and fall into your arms. Fool proof! Now, Ellie is clearly a hot chick name. Why she works at the hotel is beyond me! Get thee to someplace minus the desk so you can work that ass! We're all dying to see it in action, mamacita!
My old hangout, the MST-three thousand was open for business and showing a terrible Western. Uh, not that I was there. Hey, at least I wasn't making out in the front row like a certain May-December couple, though dude, I applaud you despite your sorry math skills. Remember men, the chick's age must be greater than or equal to the quantity of a bro's age divided by two, plus seven. That said, looks like Tino's slore was again at Caritas, trying to get her flirt on with Ben. Hey now, aren't you crazy kids related? Let's all hope the degree of removal on these cousins is a prime number.
What do you mean that's all you've got for me? Tuxedoed squirrel, I am appalled! Where are the crazy weekend parties? Where's my topless disco?
Fine.
Until next time, let me leave you with this thought - Die Hard is on in 20, who's got the popcorn?
SCHOOL
It seems the same loser was stuck at the library this Saturday as last week. Kid, I recommend a better weekend hobby. Books are lonely and don't involve supple breasts. Though not with our current librarian unless she's hiding a bod behind shaggy man-hair.
CABINS
Over in our fine, air conditioned cabins, Tino's favorite slore who looks like a mini version of that hot teen I got with one fine New Year's Eve was busy making out with Chuck Bass while puppies watched in the background. I tell you, fun times are to be had in those senior cabins. Freshman should be sure to don protective eyewear before entering. Consider yourselves warned.
Layla Miller and Hannibal got down and dirty in front of a campfire with the help of a jar of marshmallow creme. Rosalind was looking for a big strong man to light her campfire and a very shirtless Jacob was willing to give it up like a free romance novel. Wishing he'd been first to the fireless pit of Rosalind's burning desire, Alex K pitched a bitch about it being too hot anyway. At least Didi was rational enough to realize girl on girl in the lingering heat of the evening? Better kind of hot to be had. Claudia and Dana had the same idea and, armed with specialized tools, headed into the woods. We'll all hope they found the shack even while they fumbled, flashlight-free through the forest while others looked on.
...Or more than looked on. What are you trying to do here, three-piece squirrel, write the great American novel? *sighing* There are like, five pages of notes describing the onlookers that I will now condense for you, Barnacle-style. Blah blah, something about Christian and construction and hermits from long ago, blah blah blah. Then Ino shows and it's all physics and destruction and talk of the clinic and blah. I liked the first page best.
TOWN
Down in Fandom Town, tuxedo squirrel shares that everyone's favorite hot blonde Shelley was painting her toenails in the nude on a balcony at MCA...and how am I just hearing about this now? Failure, my tuxedoed friend, epic failure! In other nude if late news, Hiccup and Toothless went fishing and got their skinny dipping baggage talk on with Ender. Why complain about the baggage? Best day of the year is the day I know if a woman's sporting daddy issues or a desperate desire to just feel loved! Mmm, good day, my people, good day.
The working beat gives us a trio of bored people. My advice? Strip down, people will show up for the show. Maybe some local sorostitutes will be in need of a lawyer to sue their stalker exes and then you can be that helpful man who files their paperwork, Roy Harper. So the junk yard's not a happening place for chicks, advertise a sale of shiny objects and Marcus, I guarantee your dumb blondes will come in droves. Heh, come. Just ask Fred, who thinks someone sending him Twinkies when he works at a gym...dude, that's just wrong. Stick with the plan - make a long-term investment in a fattie and watch her trim up and fall into your arms. Fool proof! Now, Ellie is clearly a hot chick name. Why she works at the hotel is beyond me! Get thee to someplace minus the desk so you can work that ass! We're all dying to see it in action, mamacita!
My old hangout, the MST-three thousand was open for business and showing a terrible Western. Uh, not that I was there. Hey, at least I wasn't making out in the front row like a certain May-December couple, though dude, I applaud you despite your sorry math skills. Remember men, the chick's age must be greater than or equal to the quantity of a bro's age divided by two, plus seven. That said, looks like Tino's slore was again at Caritas, trying to get her flirt on with Ben. Hey now, aren't you crazy kids related? Let's all hope the degree of removal on these cousins is a prime number.
What do you mean that's all you've got for me? Tuxedoed squirrel, I am appalled! Where are the crazy weekend parties? Where's my topless disco?
Fine.
Until next time, let me leave you with this thought - Die Hard is on in 20, who's got the popcorn?