Umbridge Island Radio, Thursday, July 26
Uh, good morning. This is Clint Barton, coming to you from the radio station... I'm assuming this thing is on?
*nervous chittering*
Yeah, apparently, Billy Kaplan didn't come in this morning to do his broadcast, so I woke up with a squirrel on my chest. These two things shouldn't be related, and yet here I am with a handful of notes.
*more nervous chittering*
Okay, okay I get it. We're getting a late enough start as it is, and there's no sign of Mr. Kaplan, so I guess I'll give this a shot.
At the school, the High Inquisitor's announcements yesterday focused on future punishments for those in detention if behaviors don't improve, and on the need to report wrongdoers. If you think no one's watching you when you break the rules, I can tell you personally that that's not true.
In the Joy of Cooking, Mr. Priestly taught his students about swordfish salad and proper table setting, and in For Hire, Deadpool and Samus talked about ways to deal with your enemies besides stabbing and blowing them up. There are lots of other methods, of course. They're just not as much fun.
Ms. [microphone feedback] made the Boot Camp 101 students scale a wall for a strength exercise. Sholeh tried to wuss out because her hand hurt, but in the end she had to suck it up and do the assignment anyway. Honestly, some of you are just babies.
Warren read some Sun Tzu to the Planning and Execution students, to get them discussing how to find enemies' weak spots. Shoulders and knees are weak spots. Necks are very weak spots. For the record and all. And the Madri had some ocelots in study hall who got to watch Sholeh write "I will not be a glutton" for Ms. Maggotbone. Tsk tsk, maybe you'll know better next time.
Down in detention, everyone received their very wholesome breakfast, as always. K-Mart tried to convince Cassidy to eat, which is good because if you're just going to waste the food you're given, you might not be given as much next time. The detention guests had some time to talk with each other; Liara was upset about all the singing that went on on Tuesday, and Leda tried to tell her that worse things could happen. Yes, yes they could. Tori checked on K-Mart, and Jack checked on Sookie and compared notes with her on their usual visitors. Zoe was angry about the High Inquisitor's announcements, which shows part of why she has to stay down there in detention, and Sookie offered to make time pass faster for her, which Zoe smartly declined. Elphaba and Leda talked about how setting loyalists on fire would be too good for us, which again shows why you people need to stay in detention.
During visiting hours, Tahiri visited Stark and mocked him for taking up with humans, and Savannah told Eve that she killed her brother in self-defense. That's perfectly justifiable. Raven, it looks like, had quite a bit of fun with everyone: she forced some crippling sorrow on Bruce Banner, told Phoebe that her precious boyfriend doesn't love her anymore, and sat down with Sookie for a little while before toying with Bobby instead. Cassidy got some news on Karla from Raven, and Rinoa apparently tried to block Raven out, but it didn't work. Staying out of trouble is such a better option than being punished with any of that, isn't it?
During dinner, Leda stole most of Sookie's food for some reason, and Sookie apologized to Bobby for letting Raven get to him. It's all part of your punishment, sweetheart. You should be used to it by now.
In the dorms, Elle and Cassie talked about different and better ways to hurt people with their powers - always a smart discussion topic - and Warren spent his evening reading more of The Art of War. Raven came by to make sure he was all right after meeting up with Karla, and Tony talked to him about trying to catch someone with superhuman speed. Don't think I'm not still looking for you, kid. Tara also came by to talk to Warren about their classes, but they got sidetracked talking about love instead. Weird.
In town, Natalie and Jace were patrolling the warehouse district when they spotted Alec. Jace let Natalie beat Alec up, because the ladies around here are very good at that sort of thing, but in the end, they decided roughing him up was enough and didn't bring him in. I don't know if I agree with that; if he does anything, it'll be on both of your heads.
Kaidan patrolled through town in the morning, and Jake was out doing his rounds as well when he crossed paths with Yakko, who was skating around on ice skates. How has he not been dealt with in some way already?
Coulson was fluffing all the cat pillows in the meditation room at Wellspring Arms, which is kind of sad compared to the skills he has. Seriously Coulson, you can do better that that. Fawn was hard at work at Music Town, and Sholeh was outside of J,GoB looking at the delicious pastries but not going in to get any, because she learned not to be gluttonous. See, the school's methods clearly work at teaching important lessons. Rapunzel nearly knocked Sholeh over coming out of the store, and Sholeh accused her of stealing, but Rapunzel insisted she was just in a hurry. Yeah, we'll see about that. Ms. Wiggin spotted Sholeh, and they talked about how much pink frosting was probably on the pastries, and about how Sholeh is doing in her lessons.
Topher was out on patrol when he cross paths with Billy, and they talked about the ethics of taking tasers and explosives to members of the resistance, before Billy took off with Topher's weapon. Oh, someone's about to be in more trouble than I thought. Kitty was looking a little antsy at Caritas, but I'm sure it looked cute on her nonetheless. Emma and Callie stopped in for dinner, but I have no idea what they talked about because the squirrel got distracted by crumbs. Seriously? That's just pathetic.
That appears to be everything I got handed on my way in, and I've got plenty more entertaining things to do today, so I'm going to let the squirrels deal with turning all of this off. Remember to stay on your best behavior everyone, or else.
*nervous chittering*
Yeah, apparently, Billy Kaplan didn't come in this morning to do his broadcast, so I woke up with a squirrel on my chest. These two things shouldn't be related, and yet here I am with a handful of notes.
*more nervous chittering*
Okay, okay I get it. We're getting a late enough start as it is, and there's no sign of Mr. Kaplan, so I guess I'll give this a shot.
At the school, the High Inquisitor's announcements yesterday focused on future punishments for those in detention if behaviors don't improve, and on the need to report wrongdoers. If you think no one's watching you when you break the rules, I can tell you personally that that's not true.
In the Joy of Cooking, Mr. Priestly taught his students about swordfish salad and proper table setting, and in For Hire, Deadpool and Samus talked about ways to deal with your enemies besides stabbing and blowing them up. There are lots of other methods, of course. They're just not as much fun.
Ms. [microphone feedback] made the Boot Camp 101 students scale a wall for a strength exercise. Sholeh tried to wuss out because her hand hurt, but in the end she had to suck it up and do the assignment anyway. Honestly, some of you are just babies.
Warren read some Sun Tzu to the Planning and Execution students, to get them discussing how to find enemies' weak spots. Shoulders and knees are weak spots. Necks are very weak spots. For the record and all. And the Madri had some ocelots in study hall who got to watch Sholeh write "I will not be a glutton" for Ms. Maggotbone. Tsk tsk, maybe you'll know better next time.
Down in detention, everyone received their very wholesome breakfast, as always. K-Mart tried to convince Cassidy to eat, which is good because if you're just going to waste the food you're given, you might not be given as much next time. The detention guests had some time to talk with each other; Liara was upset about all the singing that went on on Tuesday, and Leda tried to tell her that worse things could happen. Yes, yes they could. Tori checked on K-Mart, and Jack checked on Sookie and compared notes with her on their usual visitors. Zoe was angry about the High Inquisitor's announcements, which shows part of why she has to stay down there in detention, and Sookie offered to make time pass faster for her, which Zoe smartly declined. Elphaba and Leda talked about how setting loyalists on fire would be too good for us, which again shows why you people need to stay in detention.
During visiting hours, Tahiri visited Stark and mocked him for taking up with humans, and Savannah told Eve that she killed her brother in self-defense. That's perfectly justifiable. Raven, it looks like, had quite a bit of fun with everyone: she forced some crippling sorrow on Bruce Banner, told Phoebe that her precious boyfriend doesn't love her anymore, and sat down with Sookie for a little while before toying with Bobby instead. Cassidy got some news on Karla from Raven, and Rinoa apparently tried to block Raven out, but it didn't work. Staying out of trouble is such a better option than being punished with any of that, isn't it?
During dinner, Leda stole most of Sookie's food for some reason, and Sookie apologized to Bobby for letting Raven get to him. It's all part of your punishment, sweetheart. You should be used to it by now.
In the dorms, Elle and Cassie talked about different and better ways to hurt people with their powers - always a smart discussion topic - and Warren spent his evening reading more of The Art of War. Raven came by to make sure he was all right after meeting up with Karla, and Tony talked to him about trying to catch someone with superhuman speed. Don't think I'm not still looking for you, kid. Tara also came by to talk to Warren about their classes, but they got sidetracked talking about love instead. Weird.
In town, Natalie and Jace were patrolling the warehouse district when they spotted Alec. Jace let Natalie beat Alec up, because the ladies around here are very good at that sort of thing, but in the end, they decided roughing him up was enough and didn't bring him in. I don't know if I agree with that; if he does anything, it'll be on both of your heads.
Kaidan patrolled through town in the morning, and Jake was out doing his rounds as well when he crossed paths with Yakko, who was skating around on ice skates. How has he not been dealt with in some way already?
Coulson was fluffing all the cat pillows in the meditation room at Wellspring Arms, which is kind of sad compared to the skills he has. Seriously Coulson, you can do better that that. Fawn was hard at work at Music Town, and Sholeh was outside of J,GoB looking at the delicious pastries but not going in to get any, because she learned not to be gluttonous. See, the school's methods clearly work at teaching important lessons. Rapunzel nearly knocked Sholeh over coming out of the store, and Sholeh accused her of stealing, but Rapunzel insisted she was just in a hurry. Yeah, we'll see about that. Ms. Wiggin spotted Sholeh, and they talked about how much pink frosting was probably on the pastries, and about how Sholeh is doing in her lessons.
Topher was out on patrol when he cross paths with Billy, and they talked about the ethics of taking tasers and explosives to members of the resistance, before Billy took off with Topher's weapon. Oh, someone's about to be in more trouble than I thought. Kitty was looking a little antsy at Caritas, but I'm sure it looked cute on her nonetheless. Emma and Callie stopped in for dinner, but I have no idea what they talked about because the squirrel got distracted by crumbs. Seriously? That's just pathetic.
That appears to be everything I got handed on my way in, and I've got plenty more entertaining things to do today, so I'm going to let the squirrels deal with turning all of this off. Remember to stay on your best behavior everyone, or else.