Hiatus Survival: Week Eleven
HAI GUYS. AND WELCOME TO WEEK ELEVEN. FUNNY RANDOM FACT - I'VE ALWAYS HATED THE NUMBER ELEVEN. IT'S SPELT WIERD. WHAT?!?
SO LIKE, IT'S ALMOST BEEN THREE MONTHS. THREE FRAKKING MONTHS. THAT IS INSANE YOU GUYS. INSANE. LAST WEEK WENT AWESOMELY - THE COMMENTS WERE CRAZY, AND DON'T THINK I DIDN'T READ EVERY ONE OF THEM, CAUSE I DID ON SATURDAY- BUT I WAS TOTALLY HUNG OVER AND MAY HAVE SKIPPED OUT ON REPLYING. SO: THANK YOU BB'S FOR WRITING ME ALL THAT AWESOME BIRTHDAY!PORN, AND BEING YOUR GENERAL FABULOUS SELVES ON MY B-DAY! I AM NOW TOTALLY A YEAR OLDER - NOT THAT I MIND - AND IT WAS AWESOME TO FLAIL FOR THE HALF OF MY BIRTHDAY I WAS SOBER.
YOU GUYS ROCK. ♥
NOW, MOVING ONTO THIS WEEK. HA, I WAS ALL 'YES, SURVIVED EPIPHANIES WITHOUT CRYING (MUCH)! SO NEXT WEEK'S EP.. NEXT WEEK'S EP. WELL, BLACK MARKET SUCKED. D'UH. THE CAPTAIN'S HAND ISN'T A/R ENOUGH - I GUESS THAT MEANS SACRI- BIIIIIILLLLLYYYY!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!' BUT I PROMISED Y'ALL A BETTER PICSPAM, AND MUST COMPLY - EVEN IF IT IS LESS A/R FUNNY AND MORE 'DIE LEE, YOU EMO TOOLISH BASTARD' BITTER. LMAO.
Billy, how many times has Mommy told you, when the hatch is shut and the Random Marine Guards are at the ends of the hall, Mommy and Daddy are BUSY?!
Aww, poor Billy, look at his face. *pets him and sobs* He's so upset that he interrupted the sexings - but I have a feeling you'll be unintentionally putting a kibosh on the sexings for a while Billy. But before I get all mad at Bill - we'll say something nice about him first.
Like how I epically, epically love that even three eps later, every time he looks at Laura he gets this expression like he totally can't believe she's REALLY there and not dead, and how clearly happy this makes him (thanks to lots of 'OMGS you survived cancer, it's a frakking miracle!sex') even though he will later in this ep piss me off and develop freaky corpse!love.
So naturally Billy walks his Space!Mommy to work, pausing to tell her how excited he is, because he is going to propose to his girlfriend. He wants his Space!Mommy's approval first.
His Space!Mommy is thrilled to bits and pieces, because she knows that Billy just pisses excellence, and who in their right mind would not want to marry him, sex him up and down and have his babies? NO ONE, that's who. NO ONE.
So Billy proposes. In like, a storage locker or sthng, and while I think to myself 'SRSLY Billy? IN A STORAGE LOCKER?!' I have to say, years from now Dee will look back on this and kick herself, because a storage locker proposal from a boy who is made of awesome CLEARLY beats out a hung over boyfriend macking on you on a Raptor wing right after sexing up his long time piece on the side and NOT EVEN SHOWERING before proposing only after discovering his equally skanky piece on the side totally got up without showering and went and married her own boyfriend. That's all very confusing, but hey - that's what happens with love quadrangles people. THEY GET COMPLICATED. Not as complicated as Billy's shirt pattern though, dude - like Laura couldn't find you a decent shirt to propose in?
Dee (who shall henceforth be referred to as the Whore) gives him his ring back, AND dumps him, AND neglects to mention she is totally already dating someone else, BECAUSE SHE IS A WHORE.
So Billy wanders over to the bar ship whose name I don't remember or care about, and is all 'woe is me, I'll drink my sorrows away because my EX girlfriend is a WHORE.' And who does he run into? His ex girlfriend. ON A DATE. THE DAY SHE BROKE UP WITH HIM. Like, were you PLANNING this much Whore? Billy hasn't even changed out of the shirt of epic fug yet - and is clearly distressed so much that I wanna like, go do naughty things to him in the bathroom to cheer him up. BUT WHATEVER. She is a WHORE Billy, and so not worth our time.
But then some random crazy woman comes in with a gun, because she thinks all Cylons should die, not get like, a paid vacay in Galactica's brig - BUT THAT IS JUST CRAZY, CRAZY WOMAN. AREN'T YOU TOTALLY OVER THE WHOLE GENOCIDE THING YET? IT WAS SO THREE MONTHS AGO. Billy is clearly thinking that Lee should be the first victim of crazy woman, and is plotting how to make this all happen.
This is Bill. Bill just found out about crazy woman and her gun, and KNOWS that Lee and Billy are there - BUT DOES NOT CALL HIS WIFE. She will be pissed later. But, despite the fact I am about to get verra angry at you Bill, I gotta say: Looking good, man. Looking good.
So because Billy is SO EPICALLY AWESOME, he tries to negotiate with the crazy woman with a gun. He's doing it to protect the Whore, Gods know why, but he just can't help himself. He's too awesome not to.
Lee comes back from his 'bathroom break' with Ellen, and Dee is happy to see him, WHY I have no frakking clue, because the most Lee could do at this point is bore the crazy woman to death with his own tales of emo, and how he lost SO MUCH more than everyone else, PLUS his Daddy hates him and on and on until the crazy woman shoots him, and then herself in a fit of rage. Billy has clearly thought of this too - and is thinking about ways to actively encourage Lee in this plan.
SAUL: Did you call your wife yet?
BILL: No.
SAUL: *cough*dumbass*cough*
BILL: I am going to send Kara in. She solves everything with her wild, maverick skillz!
SAUL: DUMB.ASS.
KARA: *displays wild maverick skillz and shoots Lee*
LEE: *falls to the floor, bleeding from a chest wound with an expressionless face*
Hey look. I don't hate Kara right now. WHOOHOO STARBUCK!
Naturally the Whore rushes to his side, because she is a WHORE. Nice dress Dee, would have made a cute wedding gown, but now your stupid emo!new!boyfriend will BLEED ALL OVER IT.
Billy goes and helps, because he is awesome and about 271 MILLION times a better man than Lee.
LAURA: Thanks for calling me Saul.
SAUL: *smirks*
BILL: I am in SO much trouble.
Then everyone finds out Ellen is there too, and Saul looks sad. And Bill looks like he has a plan. And Laura looks like she is briefly contemplating the joys of an Ellen-free world. Soon, Laura. Soon. Bill explains his plan of dumbassery, which involves giving the crazy woman a corpse that has been CLEARLY dead for like, EVER and saying - oh yeah, I totally killed her a bit ago, for you. AND EXPECTING HER TO BELIEVE HIM. And she'll surrender and the world will be filled with sunshine and lollipops for Bill, cause he'll save his son and get to keep his pet Cylon. EXCEPT IT IS A PLAN OF DUMBASSERY.
Meanwhile. Billy is thinking how awkward this is. He just broke up with this Whore today and she's already clearly dating and wearing a dress that screams 'SEX ME UP NOW YOU BIG MANLY PILOT STUD', when really I mean - have you LOOKED at the size of Billy's feet? Ignoring the fact that those are brown shoes with a black suit (I cannot believe THIS is what wardrobe lets Billy die in - a fugged up square shirt with an ugly tie, black suit and BROWN SHOES - WHAT THE HELL PEOPLE?) just LOOK at the size of them. Yeah. I daresay Billy is the better catch of the two. But she's a Whore, so who cares.
Because Bill brings in his corpse, and it fools the crazy woman for about FIVE SECONDS because she is CRAZY, and then a huge firefight breaks out and Bill GETS BILLY KILLED. BILL AND I? ARE SO ON A BREAK RIGHT NOW.
And then - and then - HE GOES AND CRIES BECAUSE HIS CORPSE GOT SHOT. BILLY IS DEAD ON A TABLE BEHIND YOU BECAUSE OF YOUR PLAN OF DUMBASSERY AND YOU ARE WEEPING OVER A FUCKING DEAD CHICK THAT TOTALLY SHOT YOU TWICE BEFORE SHE DIED. YOU? ARE A TOOL BILL. I still love you, but it's like buried currently under this massive rage about how fucking stupid you are.
Laura comes in, looking tragically pale and fucking gorgeous, because she rocks the grief like no other - and sees him crying over the corpse.
In a display of how much she loves Bill, she does NOT kick his ass from here til season four, or even slap him - which he totally deserves. She just tells him his plan of dumbassery was like, LEE levels of stupid, and goes over to see Billy.
And then, you know, Mary McDonnell proceeds to FUCKING KILL ME with her acting brilliance.
I love the hand thing she does. Cause she's you know, holding herself up. SUPPORTING HERSELF BECAUSE THE DUMBASS IN THE ROOM WITH HER ISN'T OFFERING BECAUSE HE IS A DUMBASS.
She then fixes Billy's hair, and hopefully promises him he will totally be buried in something that was NOT paisley or fug, and I cry and WHY DID THEY HAVE TO KILL HIM? WHY GODS, WHY?
Laura totally pictures Lee there instead - and thinks how many problems that would solve. Billy would be alive, Lee would be no great loss, and unlike Bill, she'd be there for HIM and offer hot grief!secksings. However, when she opens her eyes, Billy is still there, and Bill is still being surprisingly emo!toolish over by his Cylon corpse, so she decides she has to leave before she loses it and hurts him.
And what does Bill do? WATCHES HER LEAVE. No, Bill, you know - DON'T GO AFTER HER OR ANYTHING. YOU SIT THERE. YOUR DEAD CYLON MAY NEED YOU.
TOOL.
OKAY. SO. THAT WAS BITTER, BUT BILLY IS DEAD, WHAT THE FRAK DO YOU WANT FROM ME? YOUR CHALLENGE THIS WEEK, IS TO MAKE ME NOT HATE BILL RIGHT NOW, OKAY? MAKE HIM GO COMFORT LAURA OR GIVE HER A HUG, OR LIKE, OFFER TO LET HER KICK HIM IN THE NUTS REPEATEDLY BECAUSE HE DESERVES IT FOR KILLING HER SPACE!SON. YOU MAY INCLUDE GRIEF!SEXINGS, OR JUST HAVE HER YELL AT HIM - WHATEVER MAKES YOU FEEL BETTER, LOL. OH. OR YOU COULD WRITE ME A LAURA CALLING DEE A TOTAL WHORE COMMENT!FIC. THAT'D BE NICE TOO.
ANYWHOODLE. I'LL HAND IT OVER TO ALIAS NOW TO TELL US WHAT THE FRAK HAPPENED IN FANDOM THIS WEEK!
Fic!
From This Gutter We’re Still Staring at the Stars by babylon_whore
Bad Days by gidget_zb
Gravity Attraction by misscam
Are We There Yet? by unavitasegreta
You Said They Sang to You of Hope by babylon_whore
The Other Side of Dawn, VI, VII by karuri
Through a Glass Lightly: 33, I, II by katamaran78
To the Victor… by snoopy0917
The Other Side of ‘The Other Side’ by karuri
Little Ray of Hope by karuri
The Duality of Song by sapphs
Worst-Kept Secrets by alias424
Past, Present, Nothing by karuri
Visions of Yesterday by own_the_sky
I’m Missing My Voice When It’s Talking to You by babylon_whore
I’ll Move to Galactica by capricarose
None Too Close for Comfort by misscam
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Holy frak look at all the non-fic!
wallpapers by murphy987
icons by talkofcake
icons by angiescully
fanmix: You Made Me Believe by speechdork
icons by icoffeei
banners & wallpapers by icoffeei
picspam: Upgrade/Downgrade by misstaggart
fanmix: The Battlestar Galactica Bookclub by trek_girl42
picspam: Epic Trip to Kobol I, II, III by misstaggart
icons by spud66cat
picspam by nnaylime
icons by nnaylime
fanmix: Still Standing by nnaylime
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News
Eddie at FanExpo courtesy of larsfarm77
News straight from Eddie from a friend’s friend of talkofcake who attended the FanExpo panel.
Vids of Eddie at FanExpo.
Battlestar movie has a name.
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SO, GET READY TO FLAIL BITCHES, EVEN IF IT IS GRIEF FLAILING THIS WEEK, OR LIKE ANGER FLAILING OR WHATEVS. JUST FLAIL - BECAUSE BILLY ROCKS, AND DERSERVES SOME LOVE.