(no subject)
It's been over five years since my last post, and things have changed quite a bit.
I cut contact with my parents two years after I got married. I've been in therapy on and off for a year (good therapists are hard to find) and I haven't had any nightmares about them in the last few months.
... Well, not nightmares where I'm struggling to wake myself up and hyperventilating when I do. Lesser nightmares still happen.
I've changed a lot. I'm angrier. I had to convince myself it will not look good if I sucker-punched a homeless racist or if I immediately tore up the flier given to me from a local Republican. I met with friends I used to meet more often before marriage and felt like they barely knew me at all.
Sometimes I'm afraid to go outside. It lasts for a few months when things are bad, but now it's down to about a week.
Holidays are particularly rough, though. This year is no exception, but I'm getting better at taking care of myself. Unfortuately it's still difficult to pinpoint more subtle emotions that aren't Blinding Anger and Extreme Terror.