Praying...
Oh wow. My heart is beating out of control. I am so nervous. I talked to Matt, the guy I mentioned in my last entry, tonite. I told him that Nicole was sick, and we talked about other shit for a few minutes...then we got off the phone because he had to go get ready to pick up his roommate from class.
Ooh gosh, I don't even know him that well. Not well at all. But I just have that feeling that...well...it's like that warm ushy-gushy feeling. Almost like when you had a crush in like junior high. *teehee*
Nicole said he called her after I told him she was sick. She said that he said that he still didn't know what he wanted (we kind of had that conversation when we were both drunk), but that he would try to decide tonight. I didn't mention anything about it when he and I were on the phone, but.... Gosh, I'm so nervous. I almost feel bad about it in a way though. Nicole told me that his parents make a lot of money and things, but I really don't want it to look like that is why I'm going for him. He's just such a nice guy. It's amazing--even when he was drunk. 'Sides, what do I care about money?? I'm a pretty cheap girlfriend.
I also still feel a little awkward about he and Nicole being so close. I guess I just still feel like I should have talked it over a little more with her first before I kissed him and things. Well...should have talked it over with her first period. Yeah, they're just friends, but I still feel like I should have asked her first either way. I know I would rather be asked. *uneasy, apologetic face*
Okay, a bit off track, but that was kinda gross...I just had to gag my kitty cuz she was chokin'. Poor Schatzi. :( But she's all better now...shoved whatever was chokin' her down her throat so it didn't choke her anymore. :) Now, back on topic...
Oh wow. I just can't stop praying right now that he gives this a chance. I think I will explode if he does, and implode if he doesn't. I was so relieved about my chemistry exam being over and done with today. It was amazing how different I felt after taking it. It isn't like I was confident about it much or anything, but just to have it done!! WOW!! But now I have this to replace the anxiety. Dear God, Please, PLEASE, let him just give it a chance. It isn't as much that I'm so sure that it would work out if he says yes, but it's more that I'm scared of not knowing the possibility if he says no. I hate not knowing. To me, that is one of the worst punishments.
So, to anyone who reads this PLEASE PRAY HE GIVES IT A CHANCE!!
I know I must be sounding so desperate right now. I don't understand why I've gotten myself so worked up about this either. I don't understand it. I wish I did. Maybe I...maybe I'm just ready for a decent guy. I have been getting assholes left and right lately. I suppose I can't really blame anyone but myself for most of them...but...Well, enough of my crazy desperate-sounding life for now. I will write more when I hear his decision.
Bye all.
P.S. GO ME!! I finally found this song. Ever since I saw Shrek, I wanted it, but YAY!! now I have it. *grins*
Ooh gosh, I don't even know him that well. Not well at all. But I just have that feeling that...well...it's like that warm ushy-gushy feeling. Almost like when you had a crush in like junior high. *teehee*
Nicole said he called her after I told him she was sick. She said that he said that he still didn't know what he wanted (we kind of had that conversation when we were both drunk), but that he would try to decide tonight. I didn't mention anything about it when he and I were on the phone, but.... Gosh, I'm so nervous. I almost feel bad about it in a way though. Nicole told me that his parents make a lot of money and things, but I really don't want it to look like that is why I'm going for him. He's just such a nice guy. It's amazing--even when he was drunk. 'Sides, what do I care about money?? I'm a pretty cheap girlfriend.
I also still feel a little awkward about he and Nicole being so close. I guess I just still feel like I should have talked it over a little more with her first before I kissed him and things. Well...should have talked it over with her first period. Yeah, they're just friends, but I still feel like I should have asked her first either way. I know I would rather be asked. *uneasy, apologetic face*
Okay, a bit off track, but that was kinda gross...I just had to gag my kitty cuz she was chokin'. Poor Schatzi. :( But she's all better now...shoved whatever was chokin' her down her throat so it didn't choke her anymore. :) Now, back on topic...
Oh wow. I just can't stop praying right now that he gives this a chance. I think I will explode if he does, and implode if he doesn't. I was so relieved about my chemistry exam being over and done with today. It was amazing how different I felt after taking it. It isn't like I was confident about it much or anything, but just to have it done!! WOW!! But now I have this to replace the anxiety. Dear God, Please, PLEASE, let him just give it a chance. It isn't as much that I'm so sure that it would work out if he says yes, but it's more that I'm scared of not knowing the possibility if he says no. I hate not knowing. To me, that is one of the worst punishments.
So, to anyone who reads this PLEASE PRAY HE GIVES IT A CHANCE!!
I know I must be sounding so desperate right now. I don't understand why I've gotten myself so worked up about this either. I don't understand it. I wish I did. Maybe I...maybe I'm just ready for a decent guy. I have been getting assholes left and right lately. I suppose I can't really blame anyone but myself for most of them...but...Well, enough of my crazy desperate-sounding life for now. I will write more when I hear his decision.
Bye all.
P.S. GO ME!! I finally found this song. Ever since I saw Shrek, I wanted it, but YAY!! now I have it. *grins*