(Untitled)

[_wes_pryce_]

It was a hard summer. We were all struggling. Cordelia with her visions who were getting worse. Gunn with the fact that he thought he'd abandoned his 'crew'. Fred, trying to return to the normal world after five years in Pylea. Lorne coming to terms with leaving his homeworld behind. And Angel

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[stoic_angel_]

I slipped down the hallway silently, moving silently past Fred's room. It was always the hardest to get by her room... she had pretty good hearing, for a human.

But then, it was only to be expected, after five years in a hell dimension, right? She wouldn't have survived if she was half-deaf; the demons would have found her and killed her if she had been.

Making it past, I slipped down the stairs next. Cordelia and Gunn were out, I could tell right away. I knew the familiar patterns of the hearts of each of my friends, their scents and walking patterns. The only person downstairs was Wesley...

Moving down the steps, I began to head for the courtyard. It was always half-shaded out there, somewhere I could go and look at the sun, be outside, without burning up.

Wesley was in the back office again, and briefly, I wondered when the last time he had been out, been having fun was. The others had been around a lot, since we'd come back. Not that I had bothered to come down and be with them. As far as they were concerned, I might well have not been home at all. I wondered what Wes was up to back there; not like there was anything to worry about, right?

As I made to slip out the doors, though, I paused on the landing. There had been a flicker of motion... and Wesley was standing at the door to the office, looking at me. His face looked slightly surprised, and as I thought about it, not like I could exactly blame him.

"Um... hey," I said quietly. I... didn't know what to say, because I had been out of it. And hell, I still was. Buffy was gone, and I didn't really know what to do next. I had hoped... nothing. Those hopes of being with her when I had 'shanshued' were gone now... not that it would have ever happened in the first place.

"How're you?" I offered after another moment.

[watcher_pryce]

Angel just stood there for a long moment and stared at me, as though he had no idea how to react to anyone anymore. Which, considering the amount of hiding and brooding he'd done lately, wasn't a very strange thought. He might have actually forgotten how to interact with us mere mortals. Alright, that wasn't very fair.

Pulling off my glasses, I blinked at him and sighed. "Hello, Angel," I said softly, pinching the bridge of my nose. I took in the way he was standing there. All nervous and fidgety, ready to flee at the first wrong word I might utter. Which at this point might actually be any word.

Not that I could really take that into consideration now. We all had suffered a loss when we heard the news about Buffy. Even Cordelia and I, and of course it's not the same as it was for Angel. But really, no amount of brooding is going to bring her back at all.

"I think that should be my line, shouldn't it?" I said with a calm, soft voice. "How are you doing, Angel?"

[stoic_angel_]

I felt a faint smile cross my face, as Wesley asked if that shouldn't have been his line; the first smile in a long time... it felt... strange.

"I'm... I'm here," I finally said. 'Good' wasn't exactly in the cards at this point. Buffy and I hadn't been close, but...

But I owed it to my friends to at least try to act okay for them. I could 'brood' all I wanted upstairs. I just didn't want them to worry about me.

I watched him take his glasses off, and frowned. "How are you guys, though? Any new cases?" He looked like he had been working for a while; I wondered if there was anything coming up. "You look tired."

[_wes_pryce_]

I looked up a bit startled as a smile crossed his face. I'd not seen that in a very long time. Granted, I'd not seen Angel in a very long time, but that smile had been gone even in Pylea. It was...promising. It was a hopeful start.

"Yes," I nodded, pushing my glasses up my nose. "Here, I mean. You're here." Yes, lets point out the obvious again shall we? Dear god, you really don't know what to say or do to make people feel comfortable. Or vampire's for that matter. Then again, Cordelia has tried and she's about the best of us.

I look tired? It was on the tip of my tongue to make a sarcastic remark. Because I really was tired. Tired of trying to keep this business afloat without a hero to carry the heavy work, the muscle. Gunn was all good and well, but there was only so much a human can do. And as it was, the three of us weren't cutting it. We had tried that once before and I ended up nearly dying hadn't I?

"There have been some cases yes," I said tiredly, waving my hand vaguely toward the office. "Gunn could use your help on some."

[stoic_angel_]

I looked past Wesley toward the office, where he indicated, and narrowed my eyes. It probably wasn't anything important; after all, otherwise, they would have solved it already, or gotten me to help.

"He could?" I asked, and winced inwardly as I heard the eager tone in it. I didn't mean that it was good that there were demons to go out and slay; no, that was bad, because it meant they were causing a problem for it to have come here in the first place. No, it was just good that it gave me something to do, something therapeutic. Right?

"I mean, I could help, if... if you guys need me," I said, finally stepping down the last step to stand a tad closer to Wesley. "Is it... important?"

I flinched again, not wanting to sound violent, like I had last year... around when Darla had come back. No, I didn't want them all to worry I was going off the edge again. I wasn't. Meanwhile, I wondered when the other two were going to come back. It seemed like I was making Wesley uncomfortable, from the way he was holding back, and I didn't want to do that. The last thing I wanted to do was make anyone uncomfortable... maybe I had been better off back up in my room.

[_wes_pryce_]

I noticed the wince as well as the eager tone in his voice. Raising an eyebrow, I leaned against the doorpost and crossed my arms over my chest. "Yes," I said dryly, trying not to sound too annoyed. "We could've really used your help."

It was on the tip of my tongue to point out to him that we could've used his help for weeks now. But that he'd been very unapproachable. Lurking around the hotel, brooding on his room, giving anyone who dared to drag him out of his mood the evil eye. Not evil Angelus like, mind you, but just...annoyed leave me the hell alone, evil.

"It was...is, important enough for Gunn to ask his old crew for help. They were reluctant of course, but their need to help out the innocent won." Well, that and the fact that they remembered a little shooting accident we had last year. When Angel had left us for entirely different reasons.

Tilting my head, I gave him a speculative look. Was he really ready to come out of his room yet? He looked as though he was about to bold and lock himself up at a mere wrong word from me. It reminded me somewhat of Fred. Poor girl. "Angel," I sighed, deciding that enough was really enough. "This has to stop. We need your help around here. Angel Investigations, contrary to popular believe, is not just a name."

[stoic_angel_]

Watching as Wes crossed his arms, I pulled back slightly, and said stupidly, "I... oh."

If they had needed me, why hadn't they said anything, though? It wasn't like last time, when I had yelled at someone, even going so far as to choke Wesley for interrupting me... they didn't think I would do that again, right?

"I know you do," I said quietly, not meeting his eyes. "But... why didn't you ask? It's not like I would have-" I trailed off, shifting slightly. After a moment, I looked up, offering, "Not like last time. I wouldn't have choked you." I offered a small apologetic look; I couldn't say I wouldn't have yelled. I had a few times, and snapped quite a few time, too.

"I just wanted to be alone for a while," I finally said. "I needed... time to think."

[_wes_pryce_]

"Yes," I said dryly. "You've made it quite clear to us you wanted to be alone. Truly Angel, you were as approachable as Fred at times. If not worse." It may have been harsh, but I couldn't hold it back any longer. Though, I suppose this might have been easier coming from Cordelia. After all, he'd probably expected something like this from her.

"And we have asked several times, Angel. You went out like acting like a zombie and to be honest? Gunn and I got a little tired of having to worry if you were actually trying to keep yourself alive, of watching your back. So we decided to give you the time you needed." Even if that seemed to be an eternity. Which he might have, but we certainly do not.

Sighing, I stepped a little closer to him, leaning my elbows on the counter. I softened my gaze gave him a sad look. "I know you're upset, a word which probably doesn't even cover it, about Buffy. But she's given her life to save her sister and the world. It was her choice to do so, and you sitting around and brooding is taking a little bit away from that noble choice." Good god, I really ought to leave speeches like these up to Cordelia. Or maybe Gunn, I'll bet Charles is better with those too.

"Are you feeling at least better?" I asked worriedly. "Did you find what you needed to think about?"

[stoic_angel_]

"A- a zombie?" I asked incredulously. "Of course I want to live... It's just..." I gestured vaguely with my hands, and sighed, stopping.

"I know," I said softly. "But... mourning isn't taking away from that! She knew what she was doing, but... I should have been there, Wesley. I should have known she needed help, and helped her. She told me there was a Hell God going around, and... I should have been there," I repeated helplessly, staring at the ground.

"I'm... I'm okay," I answered Wes vaguely. I wasn't okay yet, but... I was working my way toward 'okay'. It would take a while.

"So, is there anything you guys need help with?" I asked again, ticking my eyes toward the back office.

[watcher_pryce]

Oh for... I really wish he'd stop with the guilt. We weren't even here when it happened. And if he'd not been in Pylea, Cordelia might've died. And Fred and the rest of us perhaps as well.

"You weren't here, Angel. You were saving people, just as she has done. Now, I'm not claiming to know Buffy very well, and I regret that. But I don't think she would've wanted you to give up several lives so you could save hers. She had help and they weren't able to do anything either."

Saying things such as 'it was her time' will probably do much good here. I am left to wonder what those Council buggers will do. With the only slayer now in jail. I wonder if they'll find a way to get Faith out. Strange how that annoys me, but not because of our history, but because I still see her as my Slayer.

"We may need some help," I sighed, running a hand over my face. I took of my glasses again and gave him a thoughtful look. "There is demon going around murdering women aged between twenty and thirty. I've been researching and Gunn has been asking around. I'm sure he could use some help."

[stoic_angel_]

I looked at Wesley, shocked for a second out of my daze. Yes, I knew Buffy wouldn't have wanted me to have given up other lives to save... hers, but... I still...

Couldn't have been there. She hadn't asked for help, and I knew that. Intellectually, anyway. Emotionally, on the other hand... I still felt maybe I should have known. how, I didn't know, and I realized... maybe we had stayed apart for this very reason. Hadn't I given up my humanity, and that one day of bliss, so she wouldn't die because of me?

She had died anyway, not that it was my fault. But she had still died.

I sighed, and ran a hand through my hair. "I know that, Wes. Up here," I said, tapping my head absently, "Anyway. In here... we're working on that." I pointed to my chest, then changed the subject.

"Do they know where the demon is? Or have you found out what it wants?" I asked, coming down the last step, and coming closer. The office still felt the same as before I had retreated into myself, and I was glad. I had been hoping Cordy hadn't decided to start redecorating, like she had threatened.

Not like she had the money to do that anyway.

"And... how many are dead?" I asked, looking at him concernedly. I hadn't known this was going on... and small wonder. I felt a small pang of guilt for abandoning them all, and squashed it. I couldn't take back the past few weeks, only try and make it up to all of them now.

[_wes_pryce_]

"They?" I give him a confused look. He's now referring to us as 'they'? That doesn't sound good. Oh wait, maybe he means the people and demons Gunn has been going around asking for information. I'll just go with that notion shall I? Otherwise I'd have to think he's gone quite mad. Or I have, neither option is very favorable.

"It seems to want food, and only a special kind of food. In this case young women, aged between twenty and thirty, all with red or brown hair and blue eyes. Perhaps it's their blood, I've no idea."

Turning around, I walk back into my office and pick up my notes. "Thus far we've about six confirmed deaths. It could be more of course, we've no idea. It would seem it drains the victims of all blood and for some strange reason...fingers and toes." That is so very odd. I've never heard of demon who craves these specifics. Toes and fingers, yes. Blood, of course. But both? Perhaps it's a hybrid, or a half demon?

"They, which in this case is me, haven't been able to figure out what kind of demon it is yet, I'm afraid." Chewing my bottom lip, I quickly look up at him with a guilty look and them back down at my notes. "I-I've been working on it though," I say softly. And the longer I dwindle out here to talk, the more time will be wasted, and more women may get killed. "I should get back to work."

[stoic_angel_]

I followed Wesley back into his office, watching as he picked up his notes and briefing me.

"Wesley, it's fine," I said, startled by his small guilty look. Why was he giving me that look? I... I wasn't pressuring him already, was I? I hadn't seen that look from him since his faithful servant days...

"I mean, it's not fine, but it's not your fault," I said, missing the point I was trying to make, and trying to backtrack. "You'll find the demon; it's what you do best." I tried a reassuring smile, but it felt awkward on my face, and I let it drop after a few seconds.

After a few seconds, I offered, "The blood of brunettes and redheads isn't any different than anyone else's, though. It's the same." I shrugged, turning to look at a shelf of books, and added, "And the eyes don't change anything either."

And I should know... I had killed more than enough people to know about that kind of thing. I didn't want to think about that, but if it could narrow the hunt down, it couldn't hurt much.

[watcher_pryce]

Pausing from looking at my notes, I stared at him for a long moment. Angel trying to be reassuring can be a frightening thing, truly. It was a good thing I'd seen it before, or I might have actually been stunned. As it was, it warmed me a little inside and I gave him a small smile before turning back to the notes.

He could be all as reassuring as he wanted to be. Or rather, trying to be. It was still my fault, the longer I kept looking, the more chance that thing had to grabbing more and more victims.

"Hmmm, yes," I nodded, looking up at him again. I pushed my glassed further up my nose and sighed. "Perhaps you don't taste a difference, Angel. But it's much like chocolate. Some people like milk chocolate and others don't. Perhaps this demon can taste the difference." Which as the notion I was going on at the moment. I didn't have much else.

"You wouldn't perchance know of a demon who has a preference for one particular type of blood or has a craving for fingers and toes?" I asked hopefully.

[stoic_angel_]

"No," I said slowly, running my hand across the spines of books on the shelf. Some of them have been dusted, even though I can tell they haven't been used in a while... Cordelia. She must have had a vision...

And again, I had been hiding up in my room, shirking my responsibility. I winced as I realized I seemed to be pretty good at that lately.

"No, I don't..." I said. "And I could be wrong about the blood thing." I shrugged, and turned around to face him. He looked hopeful, and I watched his face fall. I shrugged again, uncomfortable.

I was pretty familiar with the demon world, but nothing was ringing a bell... frowning, I asked, "Did you check on a Doritain demon?"

Thinking, I said quietly, "I think I ran across one not too long after I was turned... I can't remember much, but Darla took a liking to him. Something about being a connoisseur of blood..." I rolled my eyes. "She complained about it later, though, that his taste was prety bad for a demon."

Looking up, I wondered if that had helped any. I hadn't bothered to stick around when Darla had talked to the demon, but maybe this could help. As I remembered, I didn't really give a damn about being a 'blood connoisseur', just the thrill of the kill, and the screams...

Jerking slightly, I yanked myself out of my thoughts, and focused back on Wesley.

[watcher_pryce]

I paused from shuffling though the papers and glanced at Angel. He seemed to be deep in thought again and I could see the guilt etched on his face. I wasn't really certain what to do about that. It was his fault we were currently swamping when it came to fighting demons. It was a good thing we weren't swamping in work. Though, bad for the bills we had to pay.

But I couldn't really blame him. I understood his pain. Or tried to understand his pain, since I had no real idea how he must be feeling. But enough is enough, he needed to move on and pick his up life again. Errr...un-life.

Then he started to talk about yet another past and he moved even deeper away into thoughts. I sighed, and waited patiently for him to return to me again. While doing so I jotted down some notes about this blood connoisseur. I've heard of it of course. What self respecting Rogue Demon Hunter hadn't. But I was ashamed to admit it had never even crossed my mind.

Raising my eyebrow, I frowned and glanced back at Angel when he seemed to return to the here and now with a jerk. "Welcome back," I said dryly. "You seemed very far away there for a moment," I explained after a look from him.