well...
well, I am in the middle of my own crisis and I;m not sure how to stop it. all I want to do right now is grab a knife and slit my wrists or take handfulls of pills and just fade away.
I am so tired of this life and everything in it. I am so sad all the time and I feel so helpless b/c I can't figure out how the hell to fix it.
I'm so dependant on others and I HATE that.
Kris is so distant with me and when he is close to me it's only b/c he wants sex. And when he doesn't get it he's distant again. But why do I want to sleep with someone who is so distant with me???? who acts like I don't exist????
it hurts so much.
the guy at work ended up being an ass. I guess now he's dating the other girl at work. Who btw, has a bf that she failed to mention to him.
I have to work tonight and I DO NOT want to go at all. B/c they both work tonight. :-( It hurts me to see them which is stupid b/c he was never anything but a crush to me. All I want to do is quit but I need the money. I can't afford to quit without something else to go to.
I am so sad. I want to die. I shouldn't want to die but I do. I hate feeling this way. None of my friends are available. I've tried calling but most of them are at work. I hate feeling alone.
Kris called me from work tonight to ask me something and it was just like a convo between friends. No i love you's, just a take care and bye.
And in the background i could hear the girl from his work who likes him. And everynight he's coming home this week the front chair has been in a different position than I left it. I asked him today and he got all defensive and said it was nothing. I think he's taking her home... or taking her somewhere.
I just want to call in and lay in bed all night and hope to die. I don't want to go to work at all. :-(
I am so tired of this life and everything in it. I am so sad all the time and I feel so helpless b/c I can't figure out how the hell to fix it.
I'm so dependant on others and I HATE that.
Kris is so distant with me and when he is close to me it's only b/c he wants sex. And when he doesn't get it he's distant again. But why do I want to sleep with someone who is so distant with me???? who acts like I don't exist????
it hurts so much.
the guy at work ended up being an ass. I guess now he's dating the other girl at work. Who btw, has a bf that she failed to mention to him.
I have to work tonight and I DO NOT want to go at all. B/c they both work tonight. :-( It hurts me to see them which is stupid b/c he was never anything but a crush to me. All I want to do is quit but I need the money. I can't afford to quit without something else to go to.
I am so sad. I want to die. I shouldn't want to die but I do. I hate feeling this way. None of my friends are available. I've tried calling but most of them are at work. I hate feeling alone.
Kris called me from work tonight to ask me something and it was just like a convo between friends. No i love you's, just a take care and bye.
And in the background i could hear the girl from his work who likes him. And everynight he's coming home this week the front chair has been in a different position than I left it. I asked him today and he got all defensive and said it was nothing. I think he's taking her home... or taking her somewhere.
I just want to call in and lay in bed all night and hope to die. I don't want to go to work at all. :-(