To be honest..
I feel like idk where I stand anymore.
This week in Seattle was suppose to be for my writing, but I feel so unmotivated. I sit here and stare at what I have and everything is just blank.
So I think about photography but then I get unmotivated there as well.
It's weird.
I want to leave the Hotel but there really is NOTHING out here. At all really, where the hotel is. Supposly the interesting things like the musuem is nearby but I don't have that kind of money, plus my moms dog is here and idk..
And then it's like, I keep getting bad news since 12am. My unemployment was not as much as I thought, idk what I am going to do about bills. My fiances asshole of a "best friend" lost his job and of course, no one asked me if it was ok for him to stay at our place.
I feel really left out of the loop with most of my friends, like I been shoved out of the group or replaced (except for, obviously, a certain very few).
I am not happy with how I look, or my body, even though I don't feel like I have a reason too, but it makes me want to stop eating again.
Is this normal to go through stages like this? To feel like your not sure what your doing anymore or what you want too?
Idk.
I want to do things I love and stay positive and shit. I want to write and do photography. But idk what I am doing anymore.. I guess thats it.. I need motivation back.. but I am not sure how..I just feel like I am stuck in a dark spot lately..
And I know I this is just all feel sorry for myself shit, but it's how I been feeling lately. I wonder if it's normal..
Well, I am going to go see another friend I havn't seen in a long while, hopefully that will cheer me up..
Hope everyone is having a nice and safe day/night.