(no subject)
It's so strange when you want something so bad you can taste it, and after a long time of waiting it just falls in your lap when you least want it and are least expecting it. The choice to take it or leave it behind is so hard you can't sleep at night. This may not happen as often as i think because each time it does my memory has a hard time letting go of it. It's like my life is made up of these choices, and i consider myself lucky because of it. If anything it definitely has taught me a lot about who i am and who i eventually want to be. And with the past few occurences of this phenomenon i've finally started to feel like my life isn't completely useless, like i am important enough to accomplish a goal if i work at it for long enough. So, right now i have to take all the goals i made for myself and pick out the good ones. I don't mean good as enjoyable, i mean goals that aren't shallow or fake or fruitless. Definitely a difficult thing to do, but it's important for me not to turn into something people wouldn't appreciate.