(no subject)
so my car is totalled.
i was driving through an intersection where i had a green light and i glanced over to my left and this red dodge intrepid was just speeding toward me. first reaction: shit this is NOT happening. second reaction: must honk horn so she gets out of the way. third reaction: i need to MOVE.
yeah. didn't have time for any of those. she just bashed right into the side of my car. i spun across the intersection, almost a 360.
i am NOT dealing with this well. i've never been more angry in my entire life, i'm somehow turning it into my fault because if i'd gotten out of the way i would still have a car, i'm afraid to ever drive again (like i didn't have enough issues with it before?!), and i'm frustrated because no one understands. yes i'm glad i'm alive. obviously. but i am alive which means i've got a lot of shit to deal with now. and it's one of those experiences that you can see someone go through and be like, "wow, that's shitty," but until you're in it, you don't realize just how shitty it is.
i'm still sore as hell (this happened on tuesday), i might not be able to get another car and if i do, i might have to pay an extra couple thousand, depending on how much insurance money i get, i'm afraid to drive, i keep replaying the instant she hit me in my head, i'm pissed as all hell, i'm one of those people who gets extremely attached to their car so i'm immensely saddened by that. it all just sucks.
i was trying reallyreally hard to not care. i cried and freaked out right after it happened but then i refused to cry whatsoever. then i had a complete breakdown last night so maybe denial really doesn't work (don't quote me on that, though).
i want nothing more than for these next few months to be OVER. shit, i just want it to be, oh, januaryish.
the origina point of this entry was this - if you or anyone you know is selling a decent car, preferably 1995 and newer, LET ME KNOW.