(no subject)
Sigh. I let reality get to me. I decided to finally admit to myself that I probably won't see John much next week. Of course, I will be able to see him which is better than what we've got going on now.
But between school, rehearsals, auditions, voice, and all the obligations John has to family and friends, it really limited the time I'll have with him. It's all stuff I dealt with before he went to college. It hurt then, and I'm afraid it's going to hurt now. We run on very different time schedules, and we have an uncanny way of missing each other timewise. Knowing John and his friends, too, they will be out a lot, usually starting around the time that I'll have free.
I'm so selfish, but there's just so much that'll prevent us from spending time together. And I am grateful for the time we'll get, but I hate feeling like I don't fit in. I hate it when I feel it when he's at school, but it just sucks that much more when he's actually home.
I hate feeling selfish.
But between school, rehearsals, auditions, voice, and all the obligations John has to family and friends, it really limited the time I'll have with him. It's all stuff I dealt with before he went to college. It hurt then, and I'm afraid it's going to hurt now. We run on very different time schedules, and we have an uncanny way of missing each other timewise. Knowing John and his friends, too, they will be out a lot, usually starting around the time that I'll have free.
I'm so selfish, but there's just so much that'll prevent us from spending time together. And I am grateful for the time we'll get, but I hate feeling like I don't fit in. I hate it when I feel it when he's at school, but it just sucks that much more when he's actually home.
I hate feeling selfish.