(no subject)
I really dont know how to describe this entire situation. Irony? Disappointment? Or just funny?
To be honest, the only thing going through me is apathy at the moment. This entire thing, or what I believe caused this entire thing, is just overblown and frankly a waste of my time. But then again, I'm just living up to what I am.
A teenager with fickle emotions, right?
Quick! Someone tell me what to do now, because I honestly dont know whose supposed to be on my shit list or if I'm on someones shit list. Whatever.
All I have to say is:...nothing.
I guess its just sad to have to click on my friends page and hear such condescending words about people I know. Hell, probably about me too. Then again, why should I care?
Part of me is trying to understand where everything is coming from with people. But yet the other part of me is just seeing this as a "told you so" for attempting to be social. I should've just committed suicide.
Social suicide, that is.
People are usually aware of what they are doing in life. Since we are the ones who dictate where we go. So when people start doing things that others see as only harmful to that individual, its only from good intentions that others try to help them. Then again, intentions are tricky things arent they?
You can mean one thing, but the way you approach or direct your actions affects the way its perceived by others. So you have to ask yourself? Are you trying to be a good friend or are you trying to act like a superhero? Because as much as it may surprise you, the world isnt in need of saving.
Everything in our lives serves as a lesson. Be it a lesson that leaves us with scars to serve as reminders. Or with badges of conviction, honor and what have you. But sometimes you just have to let people fall down in order for them to give themselves the opportunity to grow.
So that's why I find this so difficult to react to. Part of me is slightly insulted that someone would just dismiss us like this. But the other part of me is just cutting my losses and trying not to be so catty or bitter.
I guess this is where my slight detachment comes in. I'm not always tied tightly to people. I have issues opening up fully to everyone, so I can only bond to people in certain ways. So, going through this when I thought I actually made a friend is just well, its sad. So, to end this and to set flame to the bridge.
All I have to say is:
Thanks for the good times. Thanks for the bad. Thanks for the hugs and kind words. Thanks for the anger and the grudges. Thanks for the false trust, and thanks for the empty words. Most importantly, thanks for just being there. Good luck with wherever you go. Even if its without me.