this is how i feel about particular(s)

[fallenout]

I want to
want to reach you
I don’t
don’t know how I feel
Yet
I know
know I want to reach you
I feel your pain as mine
Yet
We are so far away
And I want to reach you
but can't from here
and I try
but not much
‘cause when I do
You push further back
I don’t want to be
to be any further
I don’t want to be
to be the silly girl
who has the silly idea
that she can change you
and make you
make you love her
if you won’t open up,
you won’t
I find I’m unable to
give you a push
all my efforts,
they are effortless
I don’t want to be her
I do want to be Her
And I know I can’t be
So I stop
Stop trying
Not only that
I avoid
you
like
an infectious disease
that builds a wall
of immunity
as the barrier
from me getting to you
I want to reach you
I want to save you
But I can’t
get beyond
the dividing
wall.