. let love in.
Has life been crazy busy as of late. I worked 64 hours last week, which should leave me a nice check to pay off all those credit cards! le sigh. I'm terrified and stressed lately because I'm afraid I'm not going to get the money I need to get to New York. And then I feel this little voice saying that it's gonna be alright, Rea. Just wait and see. God always cares for you.
So basically I've been exhausted all week. I at least get to see Ruben each night; I love being able to cuddle with someone all night long. Ruben and I are doing fantastic- it feels so much longer than two months. A good long feeling. This is the first time I truly feel for someone that I am with. I'm afraid because I feel that I love him, and it's been so soon, and I'm terrified of falling too deep and having to leave him. We already act like a married couple, and to me that feels great because this is how a real relationship IS. I've never had this before.
Anyway, I've been desperately trying to get a loan, and now I realize that my best chance prolly just went out the window because I witheld some info, and, ah, crap. Please God, just let them give me the $5,000? I'll be good. I promise. I need this. Please, God. I know you know what's best, but I think this would really put my mind at ease. PLEASE let them realize I want to pay off the Dell account too! If that even shows up. Ah, jeez.
I guess we'll see.
Blah.
Much love.