. i've never wanted something rational.
Ever read something, or listen to a song, and just feel...different? Like you look at life just a tad bit differently, and want to explore these feelings?
This happens a lot for me.
And right now, what I'm feeling, is that, shit. I've been trying, and trying, and ya know what? This is it. This is what I have to do, whether I find a college that is right or not. I HAVE to go and try. I mean, REALLY try. Not just dream about it, or think about it, but just REALLY try it. If I don't find the right school, I am just going to California. I will live my Renaissance Faire life (maybe that was all in preparation for this?) and live as simply as possible, and just TRY. Just do what I can, and really go for it. Because it's what I love. It's what I've loved my entire life. And even if people in my life do not support these ideas or dreams, I just do not really care. Because this is MY life, not yours, and I will take care of myself, thank you. No worries for you.
I know I have to do this. I have to go. I'm having trouble finding someplace that I think would really help me. I'm gonna keep searching, because I think college would really help me, but there are also just plain classes in specialized schooling, specifically to tune your performance skills. So there ya go. You need money, but I'll get there somehow.
I'm still hoping to find a school, however.
We shall see.