i am one of those, melodramatic fools, neurotic to the bone, no doubt about it
yesterday morning, i walked into the kitchen to find my mother frowning down at a baking pan with a cooking utensil in hand. given that seeing my mother wield any sort of utensil associated with cooking is remarkable in itself, seeing this at 6:30 in the morning is even more stunning.
me: oh no, mom, did you bible study group put you up to cooking? [fyi - her bible study meets every friday]
mom: ::laughter:: yes, yes, they did. it looks pretty, but i cannot get it out of the pan. it won't budge, and i don't want to make it all messy.
me: have you tasted it yet? i mean, you don't plan to serve it to your study group without making sure it's edible first?
mom: if i can't get it out in a somewhat presentable form, i'll be damned if i'm going to bother tasting it.
dad: harriet, did you remember to--?
mom: yes neil, i did grease the pan!
dad: obviously, this is a sign from god telling you that you should not attempt to cook, even if it is for a holy cause.
mom: i'm going to let it warm to room temperature and then try again. if that doesn't work, then i think i'll be making a stop at bea's bakery on the way over.
dad: that sounds like a good idea.
me: even if you're not a cook, it's still nice to know that you can apply logic in these situations. i mean, god knows you didn't come up with that solution by searching through your extensive mental database of martha stewart tips...you know mom, going to jail seemed to help martha a lot, maybe you should spend a few months in jail too?
later yesterday, i received an e-mail from my mother saying: (to be placed in keepsake book of mom's recipes):
"When baking key lime squares, lightly grease pan before baking. Let cool to room temperature and remove from baking tin before refrigerating."
to which my dad replied:
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