This isn't a particularly funny piece, unlike most of the stuff I'm transcribing over to LiveJournal. However, it is fairly informative, so I thought it worth preserving. Edited for spelling, context.
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NOTE: The First Age was exactly 450 VY+590 SY in length. An approximation would be 511 VY or 4901 SY, though neither figures are exact.
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As you may or may not know, within HoME X: The War of the Jewels, one can find what Tolkien named The Grey Annals. These annals are, for the most part, the Tale of Years for the last six centuries of the First Age of the Elves. They are quite detailed, and could in fact be considered a mini-Silmarillion. It is the Grey Annals that our good friend Chris used to fill in many of the empty spots in Tolkien's Quenta Silmarillion. Tragically, the Grey Annals kind of sputters out as it approaches the last 90 years of the First Age, so that we have nothing but vague outlines to rely on. Nonetheless, it is mostly completed, and one can easily determine the exact dates of battles, births, etc.
However, the Grey Annals are not a complete Tale of Years for the First Age. Contrary to popular belief, the First Age began not with the rising of the Sun and the Moon, but instead with the awakening of the Quendi in Cuiviénen. Tolkien has referred to both events as the start of the First Age, true, but the good professor contradicts himself more often that a lot of people realize. Ideas of his were constantly being replaced with entirely different ideas. Beren was once an Elf! Thus, once we examine the various pieces of information found in HoME, one can see that Tolkien's belief was that the First Age was clearly the longest of the Ages.
So, how did I gather information for the dates preceding the last six centuries of the First Age? The Annals of Aman, of course, which are both complete and accurate to the published Silmarillion. After all, Chris did use the Annals of Aman during his editorial work. It was simply a matter of converting the Valian years provided into the Solar years.
Long and boring introductions now aside, I leave you with three pieces of information. Firstly, I have provided two separate Tale of Years, and for this there is reason. Tolkien at first had determined a Valian year to be 9.582 solar years. Late in his life, he decided otherwise; that one year of the Valar was exactly 144 years of the Sun. I myself choose rather to accept the first idea, as the idea of Elves dwelling in Cuivienen alone for more than 5000 years is difficult to believe. Nonetheless, it is what Tolkien decided to be true later in his life, and what should technically be considered canon... but we don't accept the round Arda mythos anyway, so what do we care?
Secondly, as a Valian year is longer than a solar year, one must realize that while the dates in the Annals of Aman are as precise as they can be, when those dates are translated into the a solar-year calendars there's a bit of haziness. When viewing the Tales of Years, realize that they are not perfect estimations. I have instead chosen to place the earliest date at which an event could take place. This more or less means that you should either add 10 years or 144 years to the date provided to get the most correct range of dates possible. You should, of course, add the number that matches which Tale you are viewing. This is, of course, a moot point once you've reached a point where time is no longer measured in Valian years.
Finally, I have not edited the Tales so that they are perfectly viewable under Gaia's stupid limitations so shut up.
Oh, and if you want to leave a comment, do so under this entry. Paging down to check for comments under each of these three entries would be a horrible annoyance because, yes, I'm a lazy ass.
Obviously, the Tales aren't finished. I'll be adding more information periodically.