And I said to the dog "SNIP SNIP"
Well, well, the fits of rage and laugher today were abundant. Where to start? Fuck me, *laughs with a pistol in his hand*.
If I think back I think it started when I logged onto the Minus18 website. That fuckwhit Sean was posting again, but the posts had been removed. So I posted a basic “HUH? Where they go?”. I knew it was Mark, because Nana didn’t take them down. Then Sean posts again more or less saying Nana took them down because she ‘lost’ and went on some tangent that made no sense. Not cool, last straw, not only am I a Minus18 committee member, but I’m a friend, and nup, was the last time he was going to fuck around with Nana. I posted:
mark, plz do not delete this, this will be discussed in next meeting, no matter what rule it breaks, i'll speak to you about it later.
Sean, you peice of shit. Nana didn't delete the posts, and you really need to grow the hell up and stop attacking her. You are PISSING OFF everyone on these boards, and your posts were obviously deleted for a good reason, probably because someone as worthless as you posted them. If you continue to post further disrespectful messages on the boards, attacking fellow users, or committee members, ESPECIALLY nana, i will
a) Have your name, profile and access removed from the site.
b) Have your voice box, scrotum and kylie cd's removed and fed to the nearest wild animal.
Understand? Kapeche? You have been warned many times, this is the final one - Be respectful or LEAVE
Half the committee member coming out in me, half the good friend coming out. The fact Mark had gone around deleting Nana’s posted enraged me as well. He is always undermining her, and I think it annoys me than it annoys her. Anyway so in a mood where I would have squirrel gripped anyone in my way I got ready to head to Nana’s, and stupid me almost snapped my forearm when I shoved it into the still spinning washing machine full of clothes. Smoked my first cigarette since New Years and caught a bus that said ‘700 - Box Hill’ on the front. Now you understand how fucking angry I was?
Apart from winging it from Vermont South SC to Nana’s I got there and there were wog parents everywhere. Good lord...but there was air conditioning and Porno, so it made up for it. We ordered pizza and there was a guy in there, one of the workers, and he was like leaning against the wall talking on the phone, looked like he was going to start twirling the cord with his index finger and ask what the person on the other end was wearing at any moment. So OF COURSE we decided to obviously start taking the piss out of him and he got all self conscious and stopped. It was rather a pisser, he was kinda cute though.
Watched a bit of tele when we got back from getting pizza, this chick right, on ‘what not to wear’, her tits were bigger than my arse, huge, and she liked to flash them around all the time. Good lord, and then world idol, I CAN’T BELIEVE HE WON! As Davor said, you could put a sausage through the gap in his front teeth. Ugly prick.
So we decide to head off to Alia, three stops on the way, 7-11, Safeway, and my joint. Sick. Get in the Car.
This is where it all gets interesting. 7-11 on Warrigal, near High St, we pull in and these Wannabe Muzzas are there, two cars and they are staring at us. So I’m staring back, Nana parks and is pretending to look for something hoping the guy will stop looking. But he doesn’t so she gets out and goes into the 7-11. Well, Porno thinks it would be funny to point and laugh at the guy, and he comes over to the car and tries to open the door, thank fuck I locked it, and is yelling “what do you want”, I was yelling back “Nothing”, Porno was making whimpering noises. So funny, and scary. Nana comes out of the 7-11 and goes to get in the car when one yells out “Bye Dykes” so instinctly as you do, she yelled back “Bye Poofs”. We pull out of the parking spot and start to drive away when one throws something, I think it was food or something, at the car and it makes a thud as it hits Porno’s window, I think she shit herself, Nana didn’t notice it.
Next we drive like three shops up to Safeway to buy…of all things thongs. We told Nana that they threw something and we came to the consensus that we should go back and throw something at them. We go through possibilities like Milk, Porno suggested a Turkey, I’m like not for 30 bucks your not, and Nana suggested eggs after about 5 mins of thinking. I’m still lost as to how we forgot about eggs. So yes, a kilo of mince and half a dozen eggs later we left Safeway (They don’t have thongs at Ashburton Safeway). Get in the car, double back, and park in a driveway three down from 7-11 to make a ‘plan’. It was all very ‘huddle huddle’ got us pumping. Driving into the car park was out, as there were cameras, so we were going to go up the side street and throw them from the road then drive off. Get plan, we drive past and sus out the situation, shitting ourselves so we drove straight past and worked out where they all were, pulled into a side street, to make new plans. Went something like this:
Chris: When we go back we’ll be on the wrong side, Porno, you sit here in the back and you throw them
Porno climbs through and sits in the back.
Nana: Get a good arm on them, fling them.
Porno: This is sex jugs drugs.
Chris: AHHH! If I sit in the front I can get the window right down and get a good arm on them. God are they in both cars?
Nana: Yes. Ohhhh I’m shitting myself.
We drive out the side street and up to the 7-11, slow down, Porno gets three away, I get two, they all hit the ground near them. Nana speeds off and a guy chases after on foot, and realises he wont make it and he gets back in the car. Luckily a break in the traffic gets us left out onto Warrigal and a lucky light change gets us left into High St before they get out of 7-11. We are shitting ourselves and we start going round back streets. I’m like “Pull in a driveway and turn your lights off.” Didn’t think we can’t get out then if they come behind us. So we park on a street in the back of Ashburton somewhere and god I needed a smoke. We plotted a discrete way home, avoiding Warrigal. Looking in the rear view more than forward and shitting ourselves every time we saw a car, it was fucking funny though, next time I think we are doing water balloons with human excretions in them or something like that. Yuk.
So when we got home of course I called Mum and cracked a stubbie. Mum laughed and said ‘You shouldn’t do that you could have got hurt.’ And then laughed more. Love her.
After a beer and a smoke and a bitch and a detox and Porno calling things rehab, we decided to head off to Alia, the time being midnight. A drive by at Alia proved it to be closed. WHAT THE FUCK! IT’S A FRIDAY NIGHT! So wrong. Dropped Porno home and was driving down High Street when…
Police waved us to the side of the road. Now we know Nana is driving with an suspended licence at this point, and well, was shitting herself. Breath-o, licence and rego, thank god they didn’t computer check the licence, they let us go and I came home.
For some reason my phone line is playing up. All crackly and shit, I got 28.8kbps. I’m just glad the damn thing connected. I jump online and who else but Mark has posted a post that basically told Sean, Nana and I to shut up. Well, who is he to have right to tell the other convenor to do. Hmmz, pissed me off, then I get forwarded an email from him (because I STILL don’t have a Minus email), where he tells us to behave and stop telling people we wont let them in, and that we should just take the shit from patrons, and anymore posts on the topic will be deleted. Far past the enraged point now, he’ll get his, over a page of points to bring up at meeting. I can see I should just take a sleeping bag and Doo-See with me.........or maybe a fridge.
And as the memory gathers dust, buried in its crust
Are the remains of what we've done and the seed of what we've just begun
The tapping of the rain beats a corrugated drum
And the city glows well it pulses on to the city hum
Powderfinger - Love You Way
If I think back I think it started when I logged onto the Minus18 website. That fuckwhit Sean was posting again, but the posts had been removed. So I posted a basic “HUH? Where they go?”. I knew it was Mark, because Nana didn’t take them down. Then Sean posts again more or less saying Nana took them down because she ‘lost’ and went on some tangent that made no sense. Not cool, last straw, not only am I a Minus18 committee member, but I’m a friend, and nup, was the last time he was going to fuck around with Nana. I posted:
mark, plz do not delete this, this will be discussed in next meeting, no matter what rule it breaks, i'll speak to you about it later.
Sean, you peice of shit. Nana didn't delete the posts, and you really need to grow the hell up and stop attacking her. You are PISSING OFF everyone on these boards, and your posts were obviously deleted for a good reason, probably because someone as worthless as you posted them. If you continue to post further disrespectful messages on the boards, attacking fellow users, or committee members, ESPECIALLY nana, i will
a) Have your name, profile and access removed from the site.
b) Have your voice box, scrotum and kylie cd's removed and fed to the nearest wild animal.
Understand? Kapeche? You have been warned many times, this is the final one - Be respectful or LEAVE
Half the committee member coming out in me, half the good friend coming out. The fact Mark had gone around deleting Nana’s posted enraged me as well. He is always undermining her, and I think it annoys me than it annoys her. Anyway so in a mood where I would have squirrel gripped anyone in my way I got ready to head to Nana’s, and stupid me almost snapped my forearm when I shoved it into the still spinning washing machine full of clothes. Smoked my first cigarette since New Years and caught a bus that said ‘700 - Box Hill’ on the front. Now you understand how fucking angry I was?
Apart from winging it from Vermont South SC to Nana’s I got there and there were wog parents everywhere. Good lord...but there was air conditioning and Porno, so it made up for it. We ordered pizza and there was a guy in there, one of the workers, and he was like leaning against the wall talking on the phone, looked like he was going to start twirling the cord with his index finger and ask what the person on the other end was wearing at any moment. So OF COURSE we decided to obviously start taking the piss out of him and he got all self conscious and stopped. It was rather a pisser, he was kinda cute though.
Watched a bit of tele when we got back from getting pizza, this chick right, on ‘what not to wear’, her tits were bigger than my arse, huge, and she liked to flash them around all the time. Good lord, and then world idol, I CAN’T BELIEVE HE WON! As Davor said, you could put a sausage through the gap in his front teeth. Ugly prick.
So we decide to head off to Alia, three stops on the way, 7-11, Safeway, and my joint. Sick. Get in the Car.
This is where it all gets interesting. 7-11 on Warrigal, near High St, we pull in and these Wannabe Muzzas are there, two cars and they are staring at us. So I’m staring back, Nana parks and is pretending to look for something hoping the guy will stop looking. But he doesn’t so she gets out and goes into the 7-11. Well, Porno thinks it would be funny to point and laugh at the guy, and he comes over to the car and tries to open the door, thank fuck I locked it, and is yelling “what do you want”, I was yelling back “Nothing”, Porno was making whimpering noises. So funny, and scary. Nana comes out of the 7-11 and goes to get in the car when one yells out “Bye Dykes” so instinctly as you do, she yelled back “Bye Poofs”. We pull out of the parking spot and start to drive away when one throws something, I think it was food or something, at the car and it makes a thud as it hits Porno’s window, I think she shit herself, Nana didn’t notice it.
Next we drive like three shops up to Safeway to buy…of all things thongs. We told Nana that they threw something and we came to the consensus that we should go back and throw something at them. We go through possibilities like Milk, Porno suggested a Turkey, I’m like not for 30 bucks your not, and Nana suggested eggs after about 5 mins of thinking. I’m still lost as to how we forgot about eggs. So yes, a kilo of mince and half a dozen eggs later we left Safeway (They don’t have thongs at Ashburton Safeway). Get in the car, double back, and park in a driveway three down from 7-11 to make a ‘plan’. It was all very ‘huddle huddle’ got us pumping. Driving into the car park was out, as there were cameras, so we were going to go up the side street and throw them from the road then drive off. Get plan, we drive past and sus out the situation, shitting ourselves so we drove straight past and worked out where they all were, pulled into a side street, to make new plans. Went something like this:
Chris: When we go back we’ll be on the wrong side, Porno, you sit here in the back and you throw them
Porno climbs through and sits in the back.
Nana: Get a good arm on them, fling them.
Porno: This is sex jugs drugs.
Chris: AHHH! If I sit in the front I can get the window right down and get a good arm on them. God are they in both cars?
Nana: Yes. Ohhhh I’m shitting myself.
We drive out the side street and up to the 7-11, slow down, Porno gets three away, I get two, they all hit the ground near them. Nana speeds off and a guy chases after on foot, and realises he wont make it and he gets back in the car. Luckily a break in the traffic gets us left out onto Warrigal and a lucky light change gets us left into High St before they get out of 7-11. We are shitting ourselves and we start going round back streets. I’m like “Pull in a driveway and turn your lights off.” Didn’t think we can’t get out then if they come behind us. So we park on a street in the back of Ashburton somewhere and god I needed a smoke. We plotted a discrete way home, avoiding Warrigal. Looking in the rear view more than forward and shitting ourselves every time we saw a car, it was fucking funny though, next time I think we are doing water balloons with human excretions in them or something like that. Yuk.
So when we got home of course I called Mum and cracked a stubbie. Mum laughed and said ‘You shouldn’t do that you could have got hurt.’ And then laughed more. Love her.
After a beer and a smoke and a bitch and a detox and Porno calling things rehab, we decided to head off to Alia, the time being midnight. A drive by at Alia proved it to be closed. WHAT THE FUCK! IT’S A FRIDAY NIGHT! So wrong. Dropped Porno home and was driving down High Street when…
Police waved us to the side of the road. Now we know Nana is driving with an suspended licence at this point, and well, was shitting herself. Breath-o, licence and rego, thank god they didn’t computer check the licence, they let us go and I came home.
For some reason my phone line is playing up. All crackly and shit, I got 28.8kbps. I’m just glad the damn thing connected. I jump online and who else but Mark has posted a post that basically told Sean, Nana and I to shut up. Well, who is he to have right to tell the other convenor to do. Hmmz, pissed me off, then I get forwarded an email from him (because I STILL don’t have a Minus email), where he tells us to behave and stop telling people we wont let them in, and that we should just take the shit from patrons, and anymore posts on the topic will be deleted. Far past the enraged point now, he’ll get his, over a page of points to bring up at meeting. I can see I should just take a sleeping bag and Doo-See with me.........or maybe a fridge.
And as the memory gathers dust, buried in its crust
Are the remains of what we've done and the seed of what we've just begun
The tapping of the rain beats a corrugated drum
And the city glows well it pulses on to the city hum
Powderfinger - Love You Way