a good binge is worth at least a week of research and a lifetime of study
I am not too sure what to say about last night, but I think it can probably be summed up in one
Firstly, my apologies to those most recent victims of the dreaded drunken dial. Accolades to whomever hung up on Justin saying "call back when you get funny." Apologies to those who WISHED to be drunken dialed and were not (yes, we had a complaint about this last week: "Matt why did you call ALEXIS and not ME? Don't I mean ANYTHING to you anymore?"). Even more apologies to the girl I called sober and started talking about our plans for the night and where to meet up until she said "Umm I don't remember making these plans" "Yes you do. Remember when we talked about this TWO HOURS AGO" "DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHO THIS IS" and I had to pause before replying that no, I was no longer certain as to who I was talking to and abruptly ended the conversation with "Look I have a date tonight and it's not you so I have to go now" "What, you're cheating on me ALREADY?" "Shut up there are too many Amandas in my phone good DAY to you."
Justin: Did I throw up on myself last night? I don't remember doing it but there was this giant spot..
Paul: That was the orange.
Justin: The orange?
Matt: Ohh yeah. That was awesome. That was the best part of the night.
Justin: The orange?
Paul: Yeah. You lost a battle on top of an orange.
Matt: I pwn3d you.
Justin: What??
Paul: I had to tap out for you. You were getting pretty red.
Justin: I don't remember this at all. Are you guys making this up?
Matt: Everybody was there to witness your humiliating defeat.
Justin: Whatever, I won.
Josh, walking into the room: Nope. Something happened in Mario Party that prompted Matt to say "Do you want to fight" and then you guys walked over there (points) and started wrestling around like retarded monkeys.
Paul: Somewhere on the way the orange fell and not only did you not have an orange to eat any longer...
Matt: ...but I pinned you on top of it.
Justin: I remember wearing a scarf.
Josh: Yes, that was your second try to find a shirt. The first time you went into your room and came back out, wrestled trying to get into a pair of shorts, stopped, and said "Hey this is a pair of shorts."
Justin: (look of disbelief)
Matt and Paul, nodding: This is true.
In more responsible news, I went not only the entire winter without throwing up, but I think more than a year, as well!
EDIT: This is not true- not only did I throw up a small amount of whiskey in August, there was the incident in September or October where I thought I followed Fife home to sleep it off after poker and ended up waking in a strange bed (pants on and intact, thankfully) with a strange girl (whom I never again saw, and whom NO ONE from that whole group of friends recognized a description of???) when her alarm went off (set for me so I could get to work) and I panicked "WHERE AM I? WHO ARE YOU??" and had to get her to draw me a map to the house I thought I was at so I could find my car, only to still be drunk by the time I got to work and having to duck off to the bathroom so frequently that finally I told my head chef that I thought I had the flu and maybe I should go home.. whereupon having cleaned my knives and having started to dry them with a paper towel, chatting about how awful it was to be sick, I sliced open my hand.
Firstly, my apologies to those most recent victims of the dreaded drunken dial. Accolades to whomever hung up on Justin saying "call back when you get funny." Apologies to those who WISHED to be drunken dialed and were not (yes, we had a complaint about this last week: "Matt why did you call ALEXIS and not ME? Don't I mean ANYTHING to you anymore?"). Even more apologies to the girl I called sober and started talking about our plans for the night and where to meet up until she said "Umm I don't remember making these plans" "Yes you do. Remember when we talked about this TWO HOURS AGO" "DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHO THIS IS" and I had to pause before replying that no, I was no longer certain as to who I was talking to and abruptly ended the conversation with "Look I have a date tonight and it's not you so I have to go now" "What, you're cheating on me ALREADY?" "Shut up there are too many Amandas in my phone good DAY to you."
Justin: Did I throw up on myself last night? I don't remember doing it but there was this giant spot..
Paul: That was the orange.
Justin: The orange?
Matt: Ohh yeah. That was awesome. That was the best part of the night.
Justin: The orange?
Paul: Yeah. You lost a battle on top of an orange.
Matt: I pwn3d you.
Justin: What??
Paul: I had to tap out for you. You were getting pretty red.
Justin: I don't remember this at all. Are you guys making this up?
Matt: Everybody was there to witness your humiliating defeat.
Justin: Whatever, I won.
Josh, walking into the room: Nope. Something happened in Mario Party that prompted Matt to say "Do you want to fight" and then you guys walked over there (points) and started wrestling around like retarded monkeys.
Paul: Somewhere on the way the orange fell and not only did you not have an orange to eat any longer...
Matt: ...but I pinned you on top of it.
Justin: I remember wearing a scarf.
Josh: Yes, that was your second try to find a shirt. The first time you went into your room and came back out, wrestled trying to get into a pair of shorts, stopped, and said "Hey this is a pair of shorts."
Justin: (look of disbelief)
Matt and Paul, nodding: This is true.
In more responsible news, I went not only the entire winter without throwing up, but I think more than a year, as well!
EDIT: This is not true- not only did I throw up a small amount of whiskey in August, there was the incident in September or October where I thought I followed Fife home to sleep it off after poker and ended up waking in a strange bed (pants on and intact, thankfully) with a strange girl (whom I never again saw, and whom NO ONE from that whole group of friends recognized a description of???) when her alarm went off (set for me so I could get to work) and I panicked "WHERE AM I? WHO ARE YOU??" and had to get her to draw me a map to the house I thought I was at so I could find my car, only to still be drunk by the time I got to work and having to duck off to the bathroom so frequently that finally I told my head chef that I thought I had the flu and maybe I should go home.. whereupon having cleaned my knives and having started to dry them with a paper towel, chatting about how awful it was to be sick, I sliced open my hand.