(no subject)
why hello lame journal. its me again. this year...has been packed with soo much stuff, its kind of weird knowing how i made it through all of it without all my hair falling out. being a leader at kairs, which mind you, is totally not like me because i hate public speaking...my grandpa passing away, which was supertough...my sister, rachelle getting married...getting close to some friends, and losing contact with others...graduating...and now i'm off on a new adventure. i'm actually growing up. as much as i thought id never grow up, here i am, doing exactly that. i'm leaving this weekend to live with my other sister, daphne for most of the summer in irvine. my parents thought it would be good to be out on my own, but still having my sister there. i dont mind at all really...things have changed so much here, that its probably good for me to leave and find myself. grow up, i guess. i'm getting two jobs and just getting ready for college. my mom and i went shopping today for all the stuff i'd need...and it was just crazy picking all the stuff out. the things ive seen my sisters do, is now what im doing. i think its hit me that its time for me to grow up. as much as i love being carefree and just not giving a damn about the future, i actually have to think about it now. weird huh? i think im actually ready, and excited to grow up. to see whats out there, and see what i can accomplish. life as of now, is good, not exactly the perfect summer i had imagined...but its good. ive learned to deal with things that have hurt me, and move on. ive learned to be independent for once in my life, and its great. i always used to depend on other people, but seriously, family or even friends, cant get me through everything. when i go off to college, there wont be anyone to shield me from all the lame crap in this world, all the hurts, all the pain, and im just gonna have to deal with it myself. and i think ive learned through experiences that everything does happen for a reason. it may suck horribly at the time, but heck you will come out stronger. wow. i'm actually ready to just move on. to start a new chapter in my life. to find myself and completely rock at whatever i do. to be happy and content with what life has given me. wow. i never thought id ever say all of this...but i did. wow, things do change.