half the world away

[fakeplasticlung]

I'm spending my last night here in Manchester, I really like coming here plus despite all my slacking and copius amounts of going out recently, I needed a break and to get away. The one thing I notice is how it gets dark here more early, and for the first time I actually felt cold outside at night, there was a certain smell in the air, might have

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[merteuilp]

I'm not a big fan of Autumn. There is something kinda nice and refreshing about the cold air, but generally the darker nights just get on my nerves. Also the lack of being able to have BBQ's and sit in beer gardens is annoying. Bring on the summer again. That is the real season to be jolly.

I think that people in the midlands are the biggest moaners about absolutely nothing important. Me included, I put it down to a lack of sea air.

Are you going to Leicester verses Villa tomorrow? The return of Martin O'neil. I think it will be a sell out for the first time in years. It's funny how we played Crystal Palace on Saturday whose manager is Peter Taylor who is probably one of the most hated x-Leicester managers in football, and tomorrow we play Villa whose manager is Martin O'neil and is probably the most popular x-Leicester manager in football. It was also Peter Taylor who un did all the good work that Martin O'neil had achieved with us. I think he'll get a great reception. A few of my friends are going aswell. Do you know where you are sitting?

Also I wanted to ask you about when you have had panic attacks, because I'm worried that I might be getting them. A similar thing happened a couple of years ago, it happened about a month ago, and it happened last night. It's always when I'm in a car. Anyway last night I was getting a lift to go bowling, and all of sudden for no particular reason I suddenly started feeling really faint and just wanted to get out the car and get fresh air. Like I couldn't sit still and was really irritable. I didn't say anything to any of my friends, I just took my coat and scarf off and opened a window to get fresh air in. But the rest of the journey was a real struggle and it was like I was battling with myself to stay ok. When I got to bowling it inproved after a while, but for about an hour I still felt a little faint. I was ok on the drive back, but I had been dreading it. Now I'm worried about what might happen next time I'm driving in a car, or if it happens when I'm on a long journey. Is this anything like what happens to you? The thing is I know that its my own mind causing it, but the feeling is awful when it happens.

[fakeplasticlung]

I like the cold when I'm wrapped up warm, actually had to wear a scarf yesterday. What is strange is how I'm expecting it to get warm again because October was unusually warm, but the temperature has dropped so sudden and we don't actually have heating in our flat. Our Estate Agents are like dictators. Seriously if we died they'd get away with it. Did get our own back by egging them on Halloween though. Also we had an inspection and they knocked on the door and we all ran out the back exit and went into town for awhile.

It's ashame everything went downhill when Peter Taylor arrived. However the match, all being it two weeks ago now(!), was really good. Can't believe they scored in extra time, last minute I think, it's all coming back now. It was great though, there was even a Mexican wave around the whole ground, and I haven't been in one of those since I was 10.

I don't really know why it would happen in a car. It depends really what was happening at the time, like a situation or feelings that might have triggered it. But it is awful but especially gets to the point where you can't calm down, without people noticing. It depends how bad they are in terms of coping, like I've had two in public where I can't even think rationally because my breathing is all over the place, it's like having an asthma attack. But that's only like the worst times, I can have minor ones and make myself ok. To be honest though I think Panic attacks can be attributed to different things to different people. Hope you are ok though! x

[merteuilp]

I got some information about them and I hope that i will be able to control it now if it happens again. The first thing you have to do is simply tell yourself that it is actually a perfectly natural process and responce - the so called 'fight or flight' responce. Probably why it happens to me while in a car, because it's a trapped environment. If it still continues then you should breath into your hands and re-breath the air you breath out about 5-6 times. This is because when having a panic attack you breath quicker and breath out too much carbon dioxide (which is why you feel faint). Re-breathing your air which is richer in carbon dixoide than normal air will make you feel better. Also using a paper bag is good idea if you have one (just don't use a plastic bag though becjause you'd die).

I saw my docotor on Friday and he thinks that it was probably a reaction to the medication which at first apparently causes heightened anxiety.