Could i get some advice?

Jul 13, 2012 12:30

Hi folks ( Read more... )

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arctowardthesun July 13 2012, 17:33:31 UTC
WAT

Sorry, for some reason I thought this was BRPS. Ignore me.

Though if you have to say that you're not sexist, that might be a warning sign that you are.

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thirdalias July 13 2012, 17:56:03 UTC
no problem

"Though if you have to say that you're not sexist, that might be a warning sign that you are."

Yes that would send up a signal to myself also. And i hestiated before writing it.

But, right off the bat, i can think of a number of women on this forum whom i am/was very appreciative of -- women whom i respected. This is equal to the number of women who i view as gulible and who are buying in to this nonsense, "hook, line and sinker."

Sometimes i think that when i took over as moderator i had no idea of the mess that i was getting myself in to. But i've had a lot of good come from it also.

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arctowardthesun July 13 2012, 17:57:08 UTC
Why does it matter that the people who were falling for this guy's spiel are women anyway?

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thirdalias July 13 2012, 18:22:47 UTC
Good question. Actually, several women did NOT fall for this guy's spiel and left, more or less, as a direct result of it. Three of whom i have kept in contact with ( ... )

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melyanna July 13 2012, 21:00:38 UTC
No one in this comm will tell you to get a life, it's only the internet. Many (if not most) of us have had experience with someone who faked his death or lied about who he was. Relationships don't have to be face-to-face to be real; lies hurt as much online as they do in real life.

I think you've possibly misunderstood the purpose of this community. It's about investigating potential fakers. I've read your post and most of your comments, and I don't know what you're after. But if there are lawyers involved, as you've mentioned elsewhere, talk to a lawyer. How to address the issue with a group of women is probably less important than what's going on legally.

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sine July 17 2012, 20:35:54 UTC
i've run a very large web board. if you're going to run a board, you have to accept three things: some people are going to be assholes, some people are going to be dumb, and you can't do a damned thing to change it. oh, and a fourth: no matter what you do, *someone* is going to hate you for it ( ... )

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thirdalias July 19 2012, 19:27:50 UTC


"if you want to run a web board and stay sane, "

Wow!

I just sent a private message to my fellow moderator telling him how much of a help he was in me keeping my sanity.

"people create drama. the more they care about the community and the board, the more drama they will make. this does not make sense, but again you can't change it.

if you want to run a web board and stay sane, you have to detach you-the-mod from you-the-person-hanging-out, and you have to realize that even when you're just hanging out people are speaking to the Admin or a Mod. you're not one among equals anymore; you're the sheriff. you have to make fair decisions, and it's hard to do that when you're heavily invested in the outcome (you obviously are; it's clear that you find it quite distressing that people believed him)."I don't think that Sine took a long hard look at my little community before explaining to me how the problems happened. But she might as well have. Trememndously insightful ( ... )

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sine July 20 2012, 00:39:22 UTC
yeah, it's pretty much impossible to be a moderator without having power. trying to ignore that makes your job much harder ( ... )

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thirdalias July 22 2012, 17:19:09 UTC
"i'm glad my post was helpful. i learned all that stuff during about 8 years of running a board with 10k+ users....i'll stop now, but if you have any questions or want any advice, feel free to message me"

Helpful? available for questons?

F**** that! I just made you moderator!! I need you to come in and fix this mess!!!! (1)

i have not made a single post on "my community" for 35 days.

i'm gonna just chill and think about al this for a bit.

EDIT TO ADD: I don't want to come back to my community pretending to be a leader. I need to step up OR back off and let someone else do it.

(1) this is a joke. I'm actually very speechless. as much as i respect and appreciate what "sine" is bringing here i do not wish to suggest that anyone has a majic wand. that someone can jump in time machine and correct my shortcomings from 6 years ago.

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charliequinn July 13 2012, 20:48:00 UTC
I was thinking that myself...

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thirdalias July 13 2012, 21:37:04 UTC
Thanks Melyanna and Charlie,

"I think you've possibly misunderstood the purpose of this community."

Yes, absolutely true.

And acknowledging that i'm now slightly reluctant to post more. As it this was not the best place for my question (my question which really has nothing to do with live journal, btw. It's about a forum elsewhere). Now, i'm merely chatting with you.

"But if there are lawyers involved, as you've mentioned elsewhere, talk to a lawyer. How to address the issue with a group of women is probably less important than what's going on legally."

The single legal issue that i am referring to was merely a frivious lawsuit. And is a resolved.

Rather i mentioned it because i fear the potential for further annoyances that our owner shouldn't be bothered with.

regards

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