House Post #2
I wake up and it's oddly dark in the room; like I'm up long before I should be. Sure enough I roll over and see "5:49" blinking at me from the shadows. A warm hand touches my shoulder and usually my first reaction would be to grab my cane and kick some ass, but then I remember it's her.
Blinking a lot I realize that she's dressed already and her hair is wet. She never blows it dry. Her blonde hair frames her face perfectly as she reaches down and brushes her finger against my cheek, I'm not ready to hear it but she says it anyway, "I have to go, House."
I want to beg her to stay, tell her she's better off here anyway and if nothing else she should stay because I'm a doctor. She'd never have to work again. But I keep my mouth shut, because she's still lost, I can see it in her eyes.
If I had a heart, that would've broken it.
This time, this place
Misused, mistakes
Too long, too late
Who was I to make you wait?
Just one chance, just one breath, just in case there's just one left
Cause you know
She leans down and kisses my forehead; not my lips, not my cheek even. She wants to act like nothing ever happened. I can take that, for today at least.
I'm not sure if my mind really registers the fact that she's left. That the front door closed and her footsteps faded down the hall. I don't know if she's crying or smiling because she left me. I don't know why I'm crying.
Did I really think she'd stay forever?
I love you
I've loved you all along
And I miss you
Been far away for far too long
The next day I spot her at the supermarket. Her hair is up in a clippie, one of the ones she hates to loose but only uses when she's feeling like shit. The only makeup on her face is eyeliner and maybe a tiny bit of mascara; she's tired. She doesn't want to be there and she shouldn't be; if Thanksgiving had gone as planned she'd have plenty of leftovers.
I think about going over to her, saying hi and asking how she's been. Somehow though I can't bring myself to do it. She looks depressed, teary-eyed and ready to lie down and sleep forever. I should be outraged, I should go to her house and call out that husband of hers, tell him he better take good care of her or he'll have me to deal with.
If I were really any sort of a threat I would; but what can a man with a cane do against a guy who was wanted for arson, murder, and kidnapping. Not much. Not even for her.
I keep dreaming
You'll be with me and you'll never go
Stop breathing if I don't see you anymore
I watch her for a while longer; must look like a stalker to the other customers as I follow her into the pharmacy section and watch her stare at pregnancy tests.
My heart skips a beat, and then cracks. I leave.
I walk out of that store with so many thoughts running through my head. First is; Could it be mine? Then comes; What if it isn't? And then; What'll happen to her if it is?
I'd take care of her. I'd apologize for making her life so hard; apologize for not being able to make everything better. For not getting to her first.
On my knees, I'll ask
Last chance for one last dance
Cause with you, I'd withstand
All of Hell to hold your hand
Two days later I haven't been to work. Cuddy and Wilson are leaving messages on my answering machine non-stop and Cameron takes the easy way out and pounds on my door at all hours.
I haven't heard a damn thing from Amy.
Hope she's okay.
I'd give it all, I'd give for us
Give anything but I won't give up
Cause you know
I love you, I've loved you all along
I miss you, been far away for far too long
I keep dreaming you'll be with me and you'll never go
Stop breathing if I don't see you anymore
Today it's raining; and all I can think about is how much she loves this weather. How she says that when she was younger she would swing in the rain, or just sit and think. She'd go inside, soaked to the bone and her mother would laugh, not knowing that Amy had even gone outside. I wonder if she's sitting in the rain today.
The streets have been mostly barren; it's raining too hard for much of anything to cause people to leave the security of their homes, their families. But down the street I hear tires; a car pulling itself along, wanting, needing to get somewhere. When it stops outside my building my heart stops with it.
But you know, you know
I want it, I want to hear you say
Cause I need it, I need to hear you say
I think I hear the front door open, though that seems absurd. Footsteps in the stairwell, then nothing. I sigh to myself, knowing that there's no use in hoping.
Until there's a knock at the door.
I move as fast as I can with my cane to unlatch and swing the door open. And just like that she's there. I can't tell if it's rain or tears that has her mascara running like that, making streaks down her face that only make her look even more beautiful in the hallways artificial light.
She's chewing her lip, her hair is wavy today and it's plastered against her head and neck despite her best efforts. Her black coat is drenched too, and as I take it all in I still can't believe that she's standing there in front of me. Looking like she's waited to come back here.
Waited to let me know.
I love you
I've loved you all along, and I forgive you
For being away for far too long
So keep breathing cause I'm not leaving you anymore
Believe it, hold onto me and never let me go
"I love you," She whispers, but before she can finish I pull her to me and feel the water from her jacket seep into my clothes. I don't mind the cold, "And I'm pregnant."
Again my heart skips a beat, and even though my brain tells me to question whether everything is going to go how I want it to I push the thought away. Because right now she's with me, in my arms instead of his, and I will never let go.
Keep breathing, cause I'm not leaving you anymore
Believe it, hold onto me and never let me go
Keep breathing
Hold onto me and never let me go
Hold onto me and never let me go
~*~
I do not own the lyrics to "Far Away" by Nickleback
And before any certain people freak out
Nothing is certain at this point =)
Blinking a lot I realize that she's dressed already and her hair is wet. She never blows it dry. Her blonde hair frames her face perfectly as she reaches down and brushes her finger against my cheek, I'm not ready to hear it but she says it anyway, "I have to go, House."
I want to beg her to stay, tell her she's better off here anyway and if nothing else she should stay because I'm a doctor. She'd never have to work again. But I keep my mouth shut, because she's still lost, I can see it in her eyes.
If I had a heart, that would've broken it.
This time, this place
Misused, mistakes
Too long, too late
Who was I to make you wait?
Just one chance, just one breath, just in case there's just one left
Cause you know
She leans down and kisses my forehead; not my lips, not my cheek even. She wants to act like nothing ever happened. I can take that, for today at least.
I'm not sure if my mind really registers the fact that she's left. That the front door closed and her footsteps faded down the hall. I don't know if she's crying or smiling because she left me. I don't know why I'm crying.
Did I really think she'd stay forever?
I love you
I've loved you all along
And I miss you
Been far away for far too long
The next day I spot her at the supermarket. Her hair is up in a clippie, one of the ones she hates to loose but only uses when she's feeling like shit. The only makeup on her face is eyeliner and maybe a tiny bit of mascara; she's tired. She doesn't want to be there and she shouldn't be; if Thanksgiving had gone as planned she'd have plenty of leftovers.
I think about going over to her, saying hi and asking how she's been. Somehow though I can't bring myself to do it. She looks depressed, teary-eyed and ready to lie down and sleep forever. I should be outraged, I should go to her house and call out that husband of hers, tell him he better take good care of her or he'll have me to deal with.
If I were really any sort of a threat I would; but what can a man with a cane do against a guy who was wanted for arson, murder, and kidnapping. Not much. Not even for her.
I keep dreaming
You'll be with me and you'll never go
Stop breathing if I don't see you anymore
I watch her for a while longer; must look like a stalker to the other customers as I follow her into the pharmacy section and watch her stare at pregnancy tests.
My heart skips a beat, and then cracks. I leave.
I walk out of that store with so many thoughts running through my head. First is; Could it be mine? Then comes; What if it isn't? And then; What'll happen to her if it is?
I'd take care of her. I'd apologize for making her life so hard; apologize for not being able to make everything better. For not getting to her first.
On my knees, I'll ask
Last chance for one last dance
Cause with you, I'd withstand
All of Hell to hold your hand
Two days later I haven't been to work. Cuddy and Wilson are leaving messages on my answering machine non-stop and Cameron takes the easy way out and pounds on my door at all hours.
I haven't heard a damn thing from Amy.
Hope she's okay.
I'd give it all, I'd give for us
Give anything but I won't give up
Cause you know
I love you, I've loved you all along
I miss you, been far away for far too long
I keep dreaming you'll be with me and you'll never go
Stop breathing if I don't see you anymore
Today it's raining; and all I can think about is how much she loves this weather. How she says that when she was younger she would swing in the rain, or just sit and think. She'd go inside, soaked to the bone and her mother would laugh, not knowing that Amy had even gone outside. I wonder if she's sitting in the rain today.
The streets have been mostly barren; it's raining too hard for much of anything to cause people to leave the security of their homes, their families. But down the street I hear tires; a car pulling itself along, wanting, needing to get somewhere. When it stops outside my building my heart stops with it.
But you know, you know
I want it, I want to hear you say
Cause I need it, I need to hear you say
I think I hear the front door open, though that seems absurd. Footsteps in the stairwell, then nothing. I sigh to myself, knowing that there's no use in hoping.
Until there's a knock at the door.
I move as fast as I can with my cane to unlatch and swing the door open. And just like that she's there. I can't tell if it's rain or tears that has her mascara running like that, making streaks down her face that only make her look even more beautiful in the hallways artificial light.
She's chewing her lip, her hair is wavy today and it's plastered against her head and neck despite her best efforts. Her black coat is drenched too, and as I take it all in I still can't believe that she's standing there in front of me. Looking like she's waited to come back here.
Waited to let me know.
I love you
I've loved you all along, and I forgive you
For being away for far too long
So keep breathing cause I'm not leaving you anymore
Believe it, hold onto me and never let me go
"I love you," She whispers, but before she can finish I pull her to me and feel the water from her jacket seep into my clothes. I don't mind the cold, "And I'm pregnant."
Again my heart skips a beat, and even though my brain tells me to question whether everything is going to go how I want it to I push the thought away. Because right now she's with me, in my arms instead of his, and I will never let go.
Keep breathing, cause I'm not leaving you anymore
Believe it, hold onto me and never let me go
Keep breathing
Hold onto me and never let me go
Hold onto me and never let me go
~*~
I do not own the lyrics to "Far Away" by Nickleback
And before any certain people freak out
Nothing is certain at this point =)