Hello Again!
Well... I am tired and weird feeling right now. I want someone to talk to but all the lines are currently down. metaphorically speaking anyway. spent a while talking with a friend of mine about the difference between physical and spiritual. stuff like "we may feel divine presence in the physical body but we won't be able to fully experience it until we are no longer primarily physical beings" and "yes we do in fact experience it but it's more like our shell of a physical body doesn't know how to convey that kind of message it's getting from the soul it contains"
people get pissed off when i tell them to be a christian is to walk in the footsteps of jesus. I really think some of them believe i am going to a physical place where demons dance around with little pitch forks lol
the simplistic minds of some people really bother me. If you don't believe that anything in the bible is spiritual or that people can perceive a bit of the super natural then why the hell do you read a thousands of year old document of genealogy? how does that have anything to do with you? oh wait i forgot! you were going to go to church tomorrow and say Jesus loves me and died for me and then go fuck your secretary Monday morning. Shit! my bad! i thought the whole point of having some kind of belief structure was meant so you can have... i don't know BELIEFS!
So... i think my deal now is trying to bridge the gap and be more open with people about being friendly and stuff. I don't know. I have always been an outcast so it's hard for me to try to be friendly to people who have cliques but i think i really want to try. go out of my comfort zone and such. see if it bears any fruit :D
or perhaps i will wait and see what people feel like later and just be meek and kind and joyous and peaceful and patient and gentile and good and faithful and have a bit more self control... i really want to do what's right here. it's a tough decision.
God some of my posts sound so bi-polar!
lots on my mind and it's hard for me to articulate them correctly. it's not that i don't have a grasp on the english language well enough. i like to think i have a fairly extensive vocabulary, being a shitty speller for years sometimes makes me like a walking thesaurus but i just can't convey how i am feeling sometimes so people understand that my intentions most of the time aren't cruel. i hate that everyone assumes that there's cruelty in all my actions. and selfishness. yes there is sometimes but it's not so much as many would believe. *shrugs* i will just do what i can to prove i am not full of shit and see what happens
people get pissed off when i tell them to be a christian is to walk in the footsteps of jesus. I really think some of them believe i am going to a physical place where demons dance around with little pitch forks lol
the simplistic minds of some people really bother me. If you don't believe that anything in the bible is spiritual or that people can perceive a bit of the super natural then why the hell do you read a thousands of year old document of genealogy? how does that have anything to do with you? oh wait i forgot! you were going to go to church tomorrow and say Jesus loves me and died for me and then go fuck your secretary Monday morning. Shit! my bad! i thought the whole point of having some kind of belief structure was meant so you can have... i don't know BELIEFS!
So... i think my deal now is trying to bridge the gap and be more open with people about being friendly and stuff. I don't know. I have always been an outcast so it's hard for me to try to be friendly to people who have cliques but i think i really want to try. go out of my comfort zone and such. see if it bears any fruit :D
or perhaps i will wait and see what people feel like later and just be meek and kind and joyous and peaceful and patient and gentile and good and faithful and have a bit more self control... i really want to do what's right here. it's a tough decision.
God some of my posts sound so bi-polar!
lots on my mind and it's hard for me to articulate them correctly. it's not that i don't have a grasp on the english language well enough. i like to think i have a fairly extensive vocabulary, being a shitty speller for years sometimes makes me like a walking thesaurus but i just can't convey how i am feeling sometimes so people understand that my intentions most of the time aren't cruel. i hate that everyone assumes that there's cruelty in all my actions. and selfishness. yes there is sometimes but it's not so much as many would believe. *shrugs* i will just do what i can to prove i am not full of shit and see what happens