At Peace
When I created this journal, I really had no idea how much of a journey faith really was, and that even at the highest point of faith, I would constantly be questioning, and this would be a good thing. No matter what others might tell me, in my experience I have learned that true faith is something that can remain even when challenges to it our presented. At this point in my life, I do not have that kind of faith, and that is all right.
This concerns some of my friends, and while I accept and appreciate their concern, I have experienced some things in my life that they never will, believe some truths that they never will, and know certain things that they never will fully understand, and this is all right. You see an individual’s path to finding truth is an individual thing. There will always be people in life that I share my journey with, but they will never get the final say in anything I believe. If this is the only thing I have learned thus far in my life, I have learned a great truth. You cannot live trying to be something someone else wants you to be, you will always fail.
I am very comfortable with who I am. I am at peace with the fact that I have questions, and two seemingly conflicting worlds that I am very much a part of. On occasion I feel like a hypocrite, but deep down I believe that I have to fully let go an experience them both before I find what it is I seek. I know that some see that as a very risky proposition, but I have also learned that one cannot be afraid to take risks. Failure to take risks means that you fail to grow as a person.
I have learned that listening to voices can get you in trouble. Especially if you assume you know what the purpose behind what they tell you is, and instead it is colored with personal desire. Helping someone find their ezer, does not mean that the ezer is you, just that you are supposed to help them find it. Knowing this makes other things make much more sense and again I am at peace with myself on this issue, knowing that one day this searching will not be in vain.
I believe that true friendships are not at risk when you question your faith. People who really love you are going to support you, even when they do not agree with your decisions. Love may be the only universal truth, and it manifests itself in so many different ways, it is almost like it reinvents itself every time you experience. Family love, friend love, romantic love. Love is inherently good. Real love cannot be tarnished by negative forces. Real love endures, though external forces can cause it to only manifest temporarily and then people can close themselves off to the possibility of this love as it changes form.
Thus far in my journey to find truth, I have made many friends, experienced much love, and learned much. I expect this to continue as I continue to seek truth, and realize that no matter what I do, no one is going to agree with my beliefs 100%, and it is part of the nature of spiritual journeys being impacted externally but ultimately internal. This is part of nature and not a risk to any true friendship, but a challenge that can be overcome. No matter where my journey takes me next, I am at peace with whatever that next step might be, whether it be canceling a trip to California, or moving far away from young women I adore.
This concerns some of my friends, and while I accept and appreciate their concern, I have experienced some things in my life that they never will, believe some truths that they never will, and know certain things that they never will fully understand, and this is all right. You see an individual’s path to finding truth is an individual thing. There will always be people in life that I share my journey with, but they will never get the final say in anything I believe. If this is the only thing I have learned thus far in my life, I have learned a great truth. You cannot live trying to be something someone else wants you to be, you will always fail.
I am very comfortable with who I am. I am at peace with the fact that I have questions, and two seemingly conflicting worlds that I am very much a part of. On occasion I feel like a hypocrite, but deep down I believe that I have to fully let go an experience them both before I find what it is I seek. I know that some see that as a very risky proposition, but I have also learned that one cannot be afraid to take risks. Failure to take risks means that you fail to grow as a person.
I have learned that listening to voices can get you in trouble. Especially if you assume you know what the purpose behind what they tell you is, and instead it is colored with personal desire. Helping someone find their ezer, does not mean that the ezer is you, just that you are supposed to help them find it. Knowing this makes other things make much more sense and again I am at peace with myself on this issue, knowing that one day this searching will not be in vain.
I believe that true friendships are not at risk when you question your faith. People who really love you are going to support you, even when they do not agree with your decisions. Love may be the only universal truth, and it manifests itself in so many different ways, it is almost like it reinvents itself every time you experience. Family love, friend love, romantic love. Love is inherently good. Real love cannot be tarnished by negative forces. Real love endures, though external forces can cause it to only manifest temporarily and then people can close themselves off to the possibility of this love as it changes form.
Thus far in my journey to find truth, I have made many friends, experienced much love, and learned much. I expect this to continue as I continue to seek truth, and realize that no matter what I do, no one is going to agree with my beliefs 100%, and it is part of the nature of spiritual journeys being impacted externally but ultimately internal. This is part of nature and not a risk to any true friendship, but a challenge that can be overcome. No matter where my journey takes me next, I am at peace with whatever that next step might be, whether it be canceling a trip to California, or moving far away from young women I adore.