Concerning Friendship
It has been a week since I last heard from a friend of mine, she is wonderful and certainly inspired in her faith, but some of the things she says to me strikes a nerve, and not in a good way. She suggested that one of my friends who has mostly female friends and not male friends despite being male, meant that there was something wrong with him. She also seems to have issues with men and women being close friends in general, and this bothers me deeply.
I think that her opinion is a demonstration of something deeper that is wrong with our world, a general belief that men and women are somehow so fundamentally different that they are not qualified to give each other advice. I have found with certain friendships that I grow more as a person, and more in my faith, by having close male friends who are willing to give me advice and call me out when I do something that is wrong or legitimately out of line. I find that this male input carries with it some insights that my female friends do not have, and for that I feel that it is a blessing to have this input.
Some things she said were things I needed to hear, despite the fact that I did not want to hear it. I often try to help people with their problems, but sometimes there is truly nothing I can do. She suggests it is because of the gender difference, while I would argue that it is more because some issues are things we have to go through alone, just us and God.
I have been struggling a lot with relationships lately, and what it means to be committed to God and yet have relationships with people. In fact, to have friendships and relationships with others is what God calls us to do. We are supposed to love one another and take care of one another. We were not created to be alone.
I think that her opinion is a demonstration of something deeper that is wrong with our world, a general belief that men and women are somehow so fundamentally different that they are not qualified to give each other advice. I have found with certain friendships that I grow more as a person, and more in my faith, by having close male friends who are willing to give me advice and call me out when I do something that is wrong or legitimately out of line. I find that this male input carries with it some insights that my female friends do not have, and for that I feel that it is a blessing to have this input.
Some things she said were things I needed to hear, despite the fact that I did not want to hear it. I often try to help people with their problems, but sometimes there is truly nothing I can do. She suggests it is because of the gender difference, while I would argue that it is more because some issues are things we have to go through alone, just us and God.
I have been struggling a lot with relationships lately, and what it means to be committed to God and yet have relationships with people. In fact, to have friendships and relationships with others is what God calls us to do. We are supposed to love one another and take care of one another. We were not created to be alone.