Finally 21.

[faithcb]

Happy Birthday to me.

Okay, the last few days have been way more than hectic. I don't even know where to start, but I suppose my birthday would be a good place. One of the more positive things that have happened.

Comments

[_fred_burkle_]

As far as your birthday present goes...didn't really see much point in getting you some random thing that you might not like when I knew you needed stuff for your house, that could actually serve a purpose. and it's moments like this that I realise just how much my parents have rubbed off on me...*laughs* I'm just glad you liked everything, Faith. And as far as not getting you a gift goes? Like I told you, the thought never even entered my brain. Doesn't matter that we don't know each other that well yet, we will. That's all the reason I need to make the first birthday that I'm friends with you a special one.

Saturday was definitely one of those days that couldn't be much further from fun for me if it tried...and I know it was a lot worse for you...but things are okay now? I mean, things with you and Xander, they're good? The spell made us all more than a mite paranoid about certain things. I just...basically refused to let it get the best of me...and with the exception of my own journal, kept it to myself. Everything with Wesley is so good, but so new considering...and I don't want to mess that up with silly magnified worries that are more than likely pointless.

Maybe Dawn and Mike have the right idea 'bout you and Xander spending some time apart, so that you can breathe? I mean, they seem to get along perfectly well, so maybe they're speaking from experience?

I'm just gonna say this one little bit about the situation with Xander and Anya, because I really don't know either of them very well, and I really don't want to get caught up in the middle of whatever this war is that seems to have divided everyone else we know in this town, okay?
Xander must have loved Anya very much to go so far as to marry her, right? That much is obvious...and love like that just doesn't vanish over night...or ever completely...it just slowly changes into something that isn't quite as romantic. But Faith? Like you said, he left her. Just up and left the marriage for you. To be with you. Making a comment comparing the two of you, when you've both been such an important part of his life, does make sense to a certian extent, but the thing is...he chose you...walked away from his life because he loves you so much that he didn't see any other way he could go on otherwise. But choosing you over Anya does not mean he doesn't care about his child. And from what I've witnessed of Anya and Xander's arguments and tensions...I can understand how he might think she'd keep the baby away from him, to punish him. And the best thing you can do in this situation is be supportive, and understand that he loves both his children equally, and that his past with Anya is not the most important thing there...the happiness and health of two completely innocent children is.

That was longer than I meant it to be...sorry.

As far as you and Tara being sisters goes...like I said...it's pretty amazing...and I'm really happy for you. Kinda jealous even...being an only child who always thought it would be fun to have a sister. *smiles*

[faithcb]

Sounds like you have really great parents, and thanks... I mean.. It was special having you there let alone the gifts. It was just... - the birthday was amazingly special in general. Best one ever.

Things are pretty good now.. a lot calmer. We've been having a few moments that we just forget how to talk to the other like things have changed, but overall not as bad as Saturday - though if it was... I'm sure everyone else would no. We weren't exactly having quiet arguements. I think I'm more paranoid then Xander is. Maybe my nerves are all just still jittery.

Maybe Dawn and Mike have the right idea 'bout you and Xander spending some time apart, so that you can breathe? I mean, they seem to get along perfectly well, so maybe they're speaking from experience?

I know I shouldn't be jealous about that whole thing. I know it's mostly irrational. I have a whole bunch of thoughts that just meld together. In the end it's just that I love him so much and I want to be entirely selfish and have him just to me. Pretty sure that's the part of my brain to makes me irrational. I want him to be happy and be able to be around both of his children. It would make him happy... and he should be happy. He's going to be a great father too.

Hey, maybe you have a long lost sibling out there. I mean. I grew up thinking I was the only one... Or maybe, you're an only child with surrogate siblings. *smiles back*