My Girlfriend, the perfect.
So me and the missus are trying our hand at RPing Glee. Specifically, some Puck/Kurt drama (Me as Puck, and Amasa as Kurt). I mention how I want a Sue to react to this all, and to give Kurt and Puck a talking to, because it would be a thing of beauty.
So she makes me this present:
(1:32:15 AM) Amasa: "Listen, Ladyface. If you and Roid Rage over here want to play barnacle and the whale, I request and require that you do it somewhere where I won't need to be exposed to even a single eye-searing second of your sweaty teenage self-discovery. Keep your PFLAG pamphlets and your rainbow snap bracelets at a distance of sixty feet or greater at all times. I praise a God I do not believe in that you've at last stuck your turkey baster into something you can't impregnate, Muscles."
So she makes me this present:
(1:32:15 AM) Amasa: "Listen, Ladyface. If you and Roid Rage over here want to play barnacle and the whale, I request and require that you do it somewhere where I won't need to be exposed to even a single eye-searing second of your sweaty teenage self-discovery. Keep your PFLAG pamphlets and your rainbow snap bracelets at a distance of sixty feet or greater at all times. I praise a God I do not believe in that you've at last stuck your turkey baster into something you can't impregnate, Muscles."