i miss my body
so i went bike riding for an hour today because i finally broke my last straw...jose, being honest, told me i'm chubby. i cried...then i went and rode my bike. my fucking bitch pyschiatrist, who i'm actually no longer seeing thank god, put me on this medicine 4 weeks ago that MIGHT make me gain a little weight...a little weight. i always thought i'd remain 120-125 lbs my whole life, well until i got pregnant, but then me and jose started going out and a year and a half later, i was up to 132 lbs...now...after being on zyprexa for almost a month i'm at 150 lbs...i hate myself...i can't fit into any of my pants and all i can do is cry about it. so i decided last night that i'm not taking it anymore...i'm seeing a new pyschiatrist next friday so they can figure out something then...so for the next week, i'm drugless lyssa...should be interesting!!
i just hope i can drop 25 lbs...fuck...
i just hope i can drop 25 lbs...fuck...