so this is long. don't waste your time reading this.
i am NOT the girl you think i am. i am not who you have made assumptions about. i am not the person your best friend says i am. i am not the girl everyone talks about. i am not what you think. i am neither ordinary, nor extraordinary. i am neither smart, nor stupid. i am neither pretty, nor ugly. i am neither funny, nor serious. i am just me, jenny. i'm the girl you see but don't say anything to. i'm the girl someone mentions and you say "oh yeah, she sat next to me in english". i'm the girl who walks around unnoticed, with such a great story to tell. i'm the girl nobody knows anything about, but yet i know so much...
you can't really say you know someone when you don't really know yourself. how do we really know what we want in life? how do we really know what makes us truly happy? because even when you think you're happy and you have this all time high. eventually things come crashing down and you become depressed. no one is ever truly happy all of the time, and if someone says they are, they're lying.. to you and themselves.. but sometimes i feel like i know myself so damn well it's scary..
forget everything you've heard about me. forget everything anyone has told you. it's most likely not true. no one really knows me, so the only way you will get the truth is from me...
and i really have to trust you before that happens.
sometimes i don't even feel like i fit into my own skin. today i felt like that. i felt so out of place and self conscious. i didn't like that feeling.. at all.
life's confusing.. but i like it..
it's funny how fast things change in life. it's funny how someone you thought was your best friend becomes a stranger and how a stranger can instantly become your best friend. i never thought me and mike would go through everything we did. and now we hardly talk to each other. it's strange but amazing how me and jenna hardly said two words to each other last year and now we're pretty much inseparable.
i love jenna. she gets me through everything and she's the only person who can truly make me laugh. me and her are pretty retarded and i love it. i'm really, really glad i found someone this year who i know will never, ever leave me in the dark.
i hate guys. they are such pigs. seriously. i don't want to have sex with you. i don't want to hear you call me beautiful. i don't want to date you. i don't want to see you do obscene jestures towards me. it's gross. and annoying. especailly if i don't even know you.
i think i'm over mike. like REALLY over him. he's been such an ass lately and i know i'm nothing special but i do think i deserve to be treated better than he treats me. and i do think i like someone else but it's hard to tell. and it's not like it'll work out anyways for various reasons. and plus i don't think he feels the same way about me.
i love cigarettes and coffee. and sitting in starbucks for hours talking with the greatest people in the world.
sometimes i cry all over my pillow.
or i'll just scream.
sometimes i sing to loud.
sometimes i like the attention a little to much.
sometimes i over think.
sometimes i speak aloud.
sometimes i take pictures to see what things look like through my eyes.
or others.
sometimes i think my only escape is through lyrics.
sometimes i try to hard to look pretty.
other times i don't want to get up from my bed.
sometimes i think that my life is a soundtrack.
i can hear the music when something is coming up.
i have a song for every moment in my life.
sometimes i care to much about people who never cared for me.
sometimes i want to be your friend, sometimes i want you dead.
then i want to fall in love.
sometimes i look at my guitar and wish i didn't suck.
then i wish i didn't get so mad.
sometimes i get jealous.
because i want to be noticed.
sometimes i'd rather not exsist.
sometimes my words come out beautiful.
sometimes nothing comes out.
sometimes i wish i wasn't me.
sometimes i relize who i am.
blah i write and think too much. if you seriously read this whole thing through, i thank you. not just for reading all that writing, but for actually taking the time to understand what i'm trying to say.. 'cause i know it doesn't make much sense.
so there you have it. that's me. that's pretty much everything you need to know about me. congratulations, you've been introduced to my thoughts. i hope you enjoyed them =]
oh and minnesota in 2 fucking days. =] eeeeeeeee!!!
annnnnnnd the new every time i die is amazing.
you can't really say you know someone when you don't really know yourself. how do we really know what we want in life? how do we really know what makes us truly happy? because even when you think you're happy and you have this all time high. eventually things come crashing down and you become depressed. no one is ever truly happy all of the time, and if someone says they are, they're lying.. to you and themselves.. but sometimes i feel like i know myself so damn well it's scary..
forget everything you've heard about me. forget everything anyone has told you. it's most likely not true. no one really knows me, so the only way you will get the truth is from me...
and i really have to trust you before that happens.
sometimes i don't even feel like i fit into my own skin. today i felt like that. i felt so out of place and self conscious. i didn't like that feeling.. at all.
life's confusing.. but i like it..
it's funny how fast things change in life. it's funny how someone you thought was your best friend becomes a stranger and how a stranger can instantly become your best friend. i never thought me and mike would go through everything we did. and now we hardly talk to each other. it's strange but amazing how me and jenna hardly said two words to each other last year and now we're pretty much inseparable.
i love jenna. she gets me through everything and she's the only person who can truly make me laugh. me and her are pretty retarded and i love it. i'm really, really glad i found someone this year who i know will never, ever leave me in the dark.
i hate guys. they are such pigs. seriously. i don't want to have sex with you. i don't want to hear you call me beautiful. i don't want to date you. i don't want to see you do obscene jestures towards me. it's gross. and annoying. especailly if i don't even know you.
i think i'm over mike. like REALLY over him. he's been such an ass lately and i know i'm nothing special but i do think i deserve to be treated better than he treats me. and i do think i like someone else but it's hard to tell. and it's not like it'll work out anyways for various reasons. and plus i don't think he feels the same way about me.
i love cigarettes and coffee. and sitting in starbucks for hours talking with the greatest people in the world.
sometimes i cry all over my pillow.
or i'll just scream.
sometimes i sing to loud.
sometimes i like the attention a little to much.
sometimes i over think.
sometimes i speak aloud.
sometimes i take pictures to see what things look like through my eyes.
or others.
sometimes i think my only escape is through lyrics.
sometimes i try to hard to look pretty.
other times i don't want to get up from my bed.
sometimes i think that my life is a soundtrack.
i can hear the music when something is coming up.
i have a song for every moment in my life.
sometimes i care to much about people who never cared for me.
sometimes i want to be your friend, sometimes i want you dead.
then i want to fall in love.
sometimes i look at my guitar and wish i didn't suck.
then i wish i didn't get so mad.
sometimes i get jealous.
because i want to be noticed.
sometimes i'd rather not exsist.
sometimes my words come out beautiful.
sometimes nothing comes out.
sometimes i wish i wasn't me.
sometimes i relize who i am.
blah i write and think too much. if you seriously read this whole thing through, i thank you. not just for reading all that writing, but for actually taking the time to understand what i'm trying to say.. 'cause i know it doesn't make much sense.
so there you have it. that's me. that's pretty much everything you need to know about me. congratulations, you've been introduced to my thoughts. i hope you enjoyed them =]
oh and minnesota in 2 fucking days. =] eeeeeeeee!!!
annnnnnnd the new every time i die is amazing.