(no subject)
ok this has been sitting in my head for a while so please dont hate me for being confused
there are many comments regarding many people and some of you may read them but dont blame me if you do
firstly and possibly least worryingly and least prominent in my mind at this particular time...i had what my dearest lornporn woudl call a moment with someone a few weeks ago now and i was scared, cause they arent the kind of person i want to have any more with, not that i hate them but y'know its just not like that at all
anyhow they saw somethign of me that people never do, and it has been a very long time since i felt that unguarded to someone i know that little of...scared me for a while but i am in fact past it now, well i seem to be, knowing me probably not so much but whatever the fuck right?
but now i feel bad because im about to bitch sean and i love him very much but im sad at the moment...he did that thing again that makes me think i might lose him and i cant really do that ever so yuck but then...i cant help but feel a little left behind, not that i want to, or want to stop him just it makes me feel bad sometimes, anyways i had a bad night with him on saturday and he was sad anyhow and i didnt wanna bring it up so now im sitting on it and i hate the sitting part where its all building so i typed it and now i feel betterish
you would think i would have lots of peopel to talk to but its so difficult sometimes, i dont know, i get the feeling people would assume i felt one way when i dont but i cant tell them that because i dont know how i feel, just that i feel a lot of it
the birthday was fun, i got all dressed up liek a lady pirate and i was really happy, in my happy place being sung to by a pervy man "pussy,pussy"...indeed i did not think the words went as such but truly i was wrong
really missed paul and linda, they sent me the nicest flowers and a big box of presents but y'know how thats not quite the same and stuff...fuck it im crying right now im soo gay sometimes
urgh to many people to miss, to bother missing them all
so that mefo rnow, no doubt be back soon cause YAY! back online these days
there are many comments regarding many people and some of you may read them but dont blame me if you do
firstly and possibly least worryingly and least prominent in my mind at this particular time...i had what my dearest lornporn woudl call a moment with someone a few weeks ago now and i was scared, cause they arent the kind of person i want to have any more with, not that i hate them but y'know its just not like that at all
anyhow they saw somethign of me that people never do, and it has been a very long time since i felt that unguarded to someone i know that little of...scared me for a while but i am in fact past it now, well i seem to be, knowing me probably not so much but whatever the fuck right?
but now i feel bad because im about to bitch sean and i love him very much but im sad at the moment...he did that thing again that makes me think i might lose him and i cant really do that ever so yuck but then...i cant help but feel a little left behind, not that i want to, or want to stop him just it makes me feel bad sometimes, anyways i had a bad night with him on saturday and he was sad anyhow and i didnt wanna bring it up so now im sitting on it and i hate the sitting part where its all building so i typed it and now i feel betterish
you would think i would have lots of peopel to talk to but its so difficult sometimes, i dont know, i get the feeling people would assume i felt one way when i dont but i cant tell them that because i dont know how i feel, just that i feel a lot of it
the birthday was fun, i got all dressed up liek a lady pirate and i was really happy, in my happy place being sung to by a pervy man "pussy,pussy"...indeed i did not think the words went as such but truly i was wrong
really missed paul and linda, they sent me the nicest flowers and a big box of presents but y'know how thats not quite the same and stuff...fuck it im crying right now im soo gay sometimes
urgh to many people to miss, to bother missing them all
so that mefo rnow, no doubt be back soon cause YAY! back online these days