blah!
trying to sleep. exhausted from swimming n babysitting all day. stayed up too late emailing and doing research. in bed now w cool damp hair in lovely breeze from a/c. and just as i start falling asleep, i see that i am at the counter at andrea's hotel, calmly chopping my fingers off. blood is pooling on the cutting board and counter, as one by one i lever the blade down and through my finger, fitting the steel between the joints so i don't have to cut through bone. the worst part is the jerky popping feeling as the knife gets through the grisel of the joint and quickly severs the rest of the flesh making the fingertips bounce up slightly as its cut free.
i jerk awake and flex my fingers willing their motion to rid my hands of the ghostly muscle feeling of the amputation. i close my eyes thinking this time i'll dream of something different, but there i am again, knife in hand... i'm hoping this writing will purge it.
i jerk awake and flex my fingers willing their motion to rid my hands of the ghostly muscle feeling of the amputation. i close my eyes thinking this time i'll dream of something different, but there i am again, knife in hand... i'm hoping this writing will purge it.