(no subject)
Who: Neil McLaughlin (the Caterpillar); Luke Shepherdson (Eldest Billy Goat Gruff)
When: Tuesday evening, April 8 (Backdated)
Where: Neil's apartment
Why: Neil and Luke special private time
Rating: R for adult situations
After spending a good portion of the day at the church, at Dottie's viewing, Neil was in need of company and had invited Luke over. Call it a 'celebration of life', call it 'comfort sex', call it all of the above, Neil was feeling better after some physical release. Going into the kitchen for some refreshments, he left Luke stretched across his bed.
Luke listened to the faint clink of glass in the next room as Neil poured their drinks. There was a nagging doubt at the back of his mind, and he was torn about whether to bring it up.
He decided he'd feel better about it addressed. So when Neil came back, he said, "Hey Neil, I got a question for you."
Returning with two glasses and a plastic baggie with a few joints inside tucked under his arm, Neil sat upon the corner of the mattress, handed Luke a glass and said, "What's that?"
Luke took the glass and furrowed his brow. "I know you asked me to be discreet before, but I wondered ... Did you want me to not tell anyone at all? Like, is this supposed to be secret? I mean, there's a lot of room between blaring trumpets over the Compendiums and real secrecy. Just ... wanted to know where we were on that spectrum."
Taking a slow sip, then resting the glass upon his thigh as he thought it over seriously. "Use your discretion." He glanced over at Luke, to see if he understood. Then, to be more reassuring, he rested his hand upon Luke's shoulder.
Luke huffed. That was hardly helpful. "I just don't want to casually mention it to someone and then have it be troublesome," he said. What he really wanted to ask was if Neil was ashamed of him. After all, he was considerably younger, poor, blue collar, uneducated, not quite white ... He shook his head a bit to clear it. He was being silly. It shouldn't matter; there was no one else involved in this but him and Neil.
After thinking about it for a moment longer, Neil answered. "A part of me doesn't want to acknowledge that I'm feeling uncomfortable, and that I should just live my life the way any way I please. That's always been my philosophy. But I also believe there are consequences to our actions, and we have to be willing to live with whatever consequences our actions might have, if we want to take them. I like being with you, Luke, a lot. But it's the age thing. I think about what people might say if they find out I'm with a man who's young enough to be my son. I mean, hell." Neil leaned forward, now speaking to himself and his own insecurities as much as he was speaking to Luke, "I don't know why this of all things should freak me out. I've done a lot of crazy, sexual things throughout my life, did a lot of drugs. I'm not ashamed of those, or even sorry I did them." He remained silent for a moment. "I'm also worried about how you'd feel, if there was some backlash. I don't know." Neil scrubbed his face with his hand, frustrated. Was this a sign of old age and maturity? Or was it that he actually liked him, and don't want anything bad to happen?"
Luke reached over to put a reassuring hand on Neil's shoulder. "Neil, people are gonna say what they're gonna say. You of all people shouldn't let it bother you. I mean, would you have stayed closeted if you'd really valued the opinions of the unwashed masses? I think ... I think you're upset over something else entirely different, and you don't want to deal with any additional stress that would come from the general Tale bitch-crew knowing about us. Especially because - and correct me if I'm wrong - I'm an outlet for relief from that very same stress." He raised his eyebrows. "Am I close?"
Letting the words sink in, Neil set the glass down upon the nightstand and fumbled to open the baggie and pull out a joint. Putting one end into his mouth, he reached for a lighter on the same nightstand, muttering, "No. I'd say you were pretty close to the money." He lit the joint and deeply inhaled the smoke, holding it in for as long as he could. Breathing the smoke out, he then sighed. "Put it that way, and it sounds bad. You're very insightful."
"Only when it comes to other people. It doesn't usually work on myself, unfortunately. Nearsighted," he said, forcing a grin. He took the joint from Neil and took a long toke off it. He leaned back against the headstand, and blew out a stream of smoke. He thought for a second, and finally decided he needed to get his worries out in the open. Voiced, it would probably sound silly, like how describing a nightmare made it not scary.
"I just don't want you to be ashamed of me."
"Sounds just like what I do. Here's to hypocrisy and double standards." He lifted his glass of amaretto in a mock salute and drank. Despite the alcohol and pot, Luke's last comment made Neil very sober. For a few silent moments, all he did was examine him. Finally, he rested his hand upon Luke's knee, and said in a comforting tone, "I'm not ashamed of you. If anything, I'm being mental." He paused. "If you want to tell somebody, you don't need to censor yourself."
Luke felt a flutter of relief. Not that Neil was likely to tell him if he WAS overly bothered by all the little ways that made them so different, but Luke was willing to choose to believe it. "I don't even know who I'd tell," he said. "Devin, I suppose. It's not like I'm aching to tell people, mind you, cuz it's none of their business, but ... Well, I'm not normally the secretive type." Understatement of the year, he thought; Luke had a difficult time keeping his mouth shut on any subject, least of all the day to day events of his life, which he liked to think were interesting to whoever he'd managed to corner.
Scooting up to sit beside Luke, resting his back upon the headboard in the same way, Neil plucked the joint away and took a hit as he listened to what Luke was saying. "Well," he said, "if the subject ever comes up, then." His attention drifted to the top of Luke's head, where the Goat's horns were slowly becoming visible. "Just... maybe... don't go posting in large letters on the compendium about our sex life?" Neil chuckled a bit. "Not that I've ever seen you do that." He paused to wonder, had he ever seen Luke to that or not? Actually, maybe he did, though not exactly in large letters." Shrugging his shoulders, he leaned against Luke. "We'll play it by ear." That always seemed to be the best course of action, anyway.
"Uh, no, I hardly want to call down the wrath of Theo and Rose and ... who the hell is Asher Frey anyway? He's a dick. But yeah, I'll show a little more class than that. I know I don't look it, but I can occasionally be classy." He grinned and knocked his head against Neil's shoulder - which had a little more oomph to it now that his horns were materializing.
As he almost was about to agree with Luke about how much of an asshole Asher was and the recent comments he'd made on his entry, Neil instead was butted and with a chuckle, was pushed off kilter. "Hey! Is this some sort of mating ritual? Knocking me over like this?"
"Mmmmaybe so," Luke responded, pushing his head under Neil's chin in an oddly cat-like manner. "Why, is it working?"
Half-heartedly trying to push him away, more playful than potent, Neil's laughter melted into a pleasant sigh, surrendering his mock struggle for a loose embrace around Luke's torso. "Yes, actually. It is. I find it terribly erotic. Like... a satyr." Neil glanced thoughtfully up at the horns. "Or maybe Oberon from Midsummer's Night Dream."
"I'll take either of those," Luke purred. "I can't tell you what a big kick I get out of you liking my horns." He leaned in closer to Neil and sighed. When he opened his eyes he smiled, happiness glinting in them. His pupils, just barely visible in his black eyes, turned rectangular, like a goat's, as his horns became fully materialized. "They'd make good handles, you know."
"Is that so?" Neil said, amused by Luke's forwardness and for the first time Neil noticed Luke's eyes. Blinking and looking closer to make sure he wasn't imagining things, Neil then wondered if the drugs was to blame. He took another hit and looked again. "Whoa. Your eyes."
Luke blinked. "What about them?"
Maybe it was the drugs making him see things that weren't actually there. "They look... all weird. Come here." He took Luke by the hand and pulled him off the bed to lead him to the closet where a full length mirror hung on the inside door. "Check it out."
"I don't see anything," Luke said, but then he got really close and studied his reflection a little closer. "Well I'll be damned. Ain't that a thing. Now how the hell did I never see that before? Besides not spending a lot of time up close and personal with mirrors. Funny that my vision doesn't change with it. Magic, it's an odd thing." He glanced over at Neil. "I think you're probably the first person to notice that."
"You never noticed?" This surprised Neil as much as the fact nobody else had, either. Now that he'd seen them, he couldn't keep looking at those freaky goat eyes. "I'm waiting for you to grow a tail, next," he joked, but his voice was quiet.
Luke cast his eyes sideways at Neil, a brand new uncertainty in those bizarre eyes. "No tail, that I know of. God help me if I start growing hooves. I'm swearing off the magic then."
"It might be cool," Neil said, thoughtfully, though in a teasing manner. "It seems that you wouldn't be in control of it. You would be a real satyr, then."
"Bears investigating. You DO know what satyrs are known for, right?" he asked, bizarre eyes glinting. "C'mon. Let's get epic."
When: Tuesday evening, April 8 (Backdated)
Where: Neil's apartment
Why: Neil and Luke special private time
Rating: R for adult situations
After spending a good portion of the day at the church, at Dottie's viewing, Neil was in need of company and had invited Luke over. Call it a 'celebration of life', call it 'comfort sex', call it all of the above, Neil was feeling better after some physical release. Going into the kitchen for some refreshments, he left Luke stretched across his bed.
Luke listened to the faint clink of glass in the next room as Neil poured their drinks. There was a nagging doubt at the back of his mind, and he was torn about whether to bring it up.
He decided he'd feel better about it addressed. So when Neil came back, he said, "Hey Neil, I got a question for you."
Returning with two glasses and a plastic baggie with a few joints inside tucked under his arm, Neil sat upon the corner of the mattress, handed Luke a glass and said, "What's that?"
Luke took the glass and furrowed his brow. "I know you asked me to be discreet before, but I wondered ... Did you want me to not tell anyone at all? Like, is this supposed to be secret? I mean, there's a lot of room between blaring trumpets over the Compendiums and real secrecy. Just ... wanted to know where we were on that spectrum."
Taking a slow sip, then resting the glass upon his thigh as he thought it over seriously. "Use your discretion." He glanced over at Luke, to see if he understood. Then, to be more reassuring, he rested his hand upon Luke's shoulder.
Luke huffed. That was hardly helpful. "I just don't want to casually mention it to someone and then have it be troublesome," he said. What he really wanted to ask was if Neil was ashamed of him. After all, he was considerably younger, poor, blue collar, uneducated, not quite white ... He shook his head a bit to clear it. He was being silly. It shouldn't matter; there was no one else involved in this but him and Neil.
After thinking about it for a moment longer, Neil answered. "A part of me doesn't want to acknowledge that I'm feeling uncomfortable, and that I should just live my life the way any way I please. That's always been my philosophy. But I also believe there are consequences to our actions, and we have to be willing to live with whatever consequences our actions might have, if we want to take them. I like being with you, Luke, a lot. But it's the age thing. I think about what people might say if they find out I'm with a man who's young enough to be my son. I mean, hell." Neil leaned forward, now speaking to himself and his own insecurities as much as he was speaking to Luke, "I don't know why this of all things should freak me out. I've done a lot of crazy, sexual things throughout my life, did a lot of drugs. I'm not ashamed of those, or even sorry I did them." He remained silent for a moment. "I'm also worried about how you'd feel, if there was some backlash. I don't know." Neil scrubbed his face with his hand, frustrated. Was this a sign of old age and maturity? Or was it that he actually liked him, and don't want anything bad to happen?"
Luke reached over to put a reassuring hand on Neil's shoulder. "Neil, people are gonna say what they're gonna say. You of all people shouldn't let it bother you. I mean, would you have stayed closeted if you'd really valued the opinions of the unwashed masses? I think ... I think you're upset over something else entirely different, and you don't want to deal with any additional stress that would come from the general Tale bitch-crew knowing about us. Especially because - and correct me if I'm wrong - I'm an outlet for relief from that very same stress." He raised his eyebrows. "Am I close?"
Letting the words sink in, Neil set the glass down upon the nightstand and fumbled to open the baggie and pull out a joint. Putting one end into his mouth, he reached for a lighter on the same nightstand, muttering, "No. I'd say you were pretty close to the money." He lit the joint and deeply inhaled the smoke, holding it in for as long as he could. Breathing the smoke out, he then sighed. "Put it that way, and it sounds bad. You're very insightful."
"Only when it comes to other people. It doesn't usually work on myself, unfortunately. Nearsighted," he said, forcing a grin. He took the joint from Neil and took a long toke off it. He leaned back against the headstand, and blew out a stream of smoke. He thought for a second, and finally decided he needed to get his worries out in the open. Voiced, it would probably sound silly, like how describing a nightmare made it not scary.
"I just don't want you to be ashamed of me."
"Sounds just like what I do. Here's to hypocrisy and double standards." He lifted his glass of amaretto in a mock salute and drank. Despite the alcohol and pot, Luke's last comment made Neil very sober. For a few silent moments, all he did was examine him. Finally, he rested his hand upon Luke's knee, and said in a comforting tone, "I'm not ashamed of you. If anything, I'm being mental." He paused. "If you want to tell somebody, you don't need to censor yourself."
Luke felt a flutter of relief. Not that Neil was likely to tell him if he WAS overly bothered by all the little ways that made them so different, but Luke was willing to choose to believe it. "I don't even know who I'd tell," he said. "Devin, I suppose. It's not like I'm aching to tell people, mind you, cuz it's none of their business, but ... Well, I'm not normally the secretive type." Understatement of the year, he thought; Luke had a difficult time keeping his mouth shut on any subject, least of all the day to day events of his life, which he liked to think were interesting to whoever he'd managed to corner.
Scooting up to sit beside Luke, resting his back upon the headboard in the same way, Neil plucked the joint away and took a hit as he listened to what Luke was saying. "Well," he said, "if the subject ever comes up, then." His attention drifted to the top of Luke's head, where the Goat's horns were slowly becoming visible. "Just... maybe... don't go posting in large letters on the compendium about our sex life?" Neil chuckled a bit. "Not that I've ever seen you do that." He paused to wonder, had he ever seen Luke to that or not? Actually, maybe he did, though not exactly in large letters." Shrugging his shoulders, he leaned against Luke. "We'll play it by ear." That always seemed to be the best course of action, anyway.
"Uh, no, I hardly want to call down the wrath of Theo and Rose and ... who the hell is Asher Frey anyway? He's a dick. But yeah, I'll show a little more class than that. I know I don't look it, but I can occasionally be classy." He grinned and knocked his head against Neil's shoulder - which had a little more oomph to it now that his horns were materializing.
As he almost was about to agree with Luke about how much of an asshole Asher was and the recent comments he'd made on his entry, Neil instead was butted and with a chuckle, was pushed off kilter. "Hey! Is this some sort of mating ritual? Knocking me over like this?"
"Mmmmaybe so," Luke responded, pushing his head under Neil's chin in an oddly cat-like manner. "Why, is it working?"
Half-heartedly trying to push him away, more playful than potent, Neil's laughter melted into a pleasant sigh, surrendering his mock struggle for a loose embrace around Luke's torso. "Yes, actually. It is. I find it terribly erotic. Like... a satyr." Neil glanced thoughtfully up at the horns. "Or maybe Oberon from Midsummer's Night Dream."
"I'll take either of those," Luke purred. "I can't tell you what a big kick I get out of you liking my horns." He leaned in closer to Neil and sighed. When he opened his eyes he smiled, happiness glinting in them. His pupils, just barely visible in his black eyes, turned rectangular, like a goat's, as his horns became fully materialized. "They'd make good handles, you know."
"Is that so?" Neil said, amused by Luke's forwardness and for the first time Neil noticed Luke's eyes. Blinking and looking closer to make sure he wasn't imagining things, Neil then wondered if the drugs was to blame. He took another hit and looked again. "Whoa. Your eyes."
Luke blinked. "What about them?"
Maybe it was the drugs making him see things that weren't actually there. "They look... all weird. Come here." He took Luke by the hand and pulled him off the bed to lead him to the closet where a full length mirror hung on the inside door. "Check it out."
"I don't see anything," Luke said, but then he got really close and studied his reflection a little closer. "Well I'll be damned. Ain't that a thing. Now how the hell did I never see that before? Besides not spending a lot of time up close and personal with mirrors. Funny that my vision doesn't change with it. Magic, it's an odd thing." He glanced over at Neil. "I think you're probably the first person to notice that."
"You never noticed?" This surprised Neil as much as the fact nobody else had, either. Now that he'd seen them, he couldn't keep looking at those freaky goat eyes. "I'm waiting for you to grow a tail, next," he joked, but his voice was quiet.
Luke cast his eyes sideways at Neil, a brand new uncertainty in those bizarre eyes. "No tail, that I know of. God help me if I start growing hooves. I'm swearing off the magic then."
"It might be cool," Neil said, thoughtfully, though in a teasing manner. "It seems that you wouldn't be in control of it. You would be a real satyr, then."
"Bears investigating. You DO know what satyrs are known for, right?" he asked, bizarre eyes glinting. "C'mon. Let's get epic."