Growing up is hard to do
After some emotional turmoil the last few days I've come to realize that I need to accept and embrace my control freak nature. So often I quibble about coming off as bitchy or mean to other people when I want to take control of a situation or circumstance. I'm FAR more comfortable when I'm in control and can make the majority of the important decisions. I know when to back down to authority of course, but there's no reason I can't be assertive and step up. Being decisive and a good leader is a Good quality after all, and I need to embrace it. For too long I've fought the urge to take control and then when I can't stand it any longer I DO turn into a bitch and just do it, being resentful the whole time and expressing a nasty attitude. If I'd just step up and handle it from the beginning rather than waiting and worrying I wouldn't HAVE a nasty attitude and everything would (usually, hopefully) go smoothly. It's all about turning my faults into strengths through confidence and self control.