Emo moment
Thursdays have been, and will continue to be, in the foreseeable future, Emo Day.
I guess they land far enough between the short list of remaining good things about my life that I become disgusted with myself and my life by the end of Thursday each week.
No job... no hope of a job... no experience to maybe land a well paying job using my degree... not enough experience to even land a shit-paying part time internship using my degree, no schoolwork, no money to do the workshops and special events that I want to, no confidence in myself or my skills to volunteer, no friends of my own, an unhealthy diet and lifestyle, depressed and emotionally unstable pets, a mostly worthless WoW character and inability to lead as a guild officer (and steadily decreasing interest in the game in the first place).
I have absolutely no energy or interest or motivation to do any of the shit I should.
I can feel myself spiraling into the deep abyss of another depression. And I hate myself for it.
The worst of it all is the self hatred.
I'm soooo tired..... I know what I need to do to pull myself out of this..... but the majority of myself doesn't want to do it. I'm too tired to do it. I've always been too tired or too poor to do what I REALLY want. I'm sick and tired of it. Of everything.
Would somebody please stop this life and let me off already?
I guess they land far enough between the short list of remaining good things about my life that I become disgusted with myself and my life by the end of Thursday each week.
No job... no hope of a job... no experience to maybe land a well paying job using my degree... not enough experience to even land a shit-paying part time internship using my degree, no schoolwork, no money to do the workshops and special events that I want to, no confidence in myself or my skills to volunteer, no friends of my own, an unhealthy diet and lifestyle, depressed and emotionally unstable pets, a mostly worthless WoW character and inability to lead as a guild officer (and steadily decreasing interest in the game in the first place).
I have absolutely no energy or interest or motivation to do any of the shit I should.
I can feel myself spiraling into the deep abyss of another depression. And I hate myself for it.
The worst of it all is the self hatred.
I'm soooo tired..... I know what I need to do to pull myself out of this..... but the majority of myself doesn't want to do it. I'm too tired to do it. I've always been too tired or too poor to do what I REALLY want. I'm sick and tired of it. Of everything.
Would somebody please stop this life and let me off already?