my name is a disappointment, i only disappoint myself
that was one of the only times i've actually been scared in a while. and the thing is, there wasn't anything scary. my mind was just being all weird last night, so when i layed down in bed, i watched conan, and during the commercials i felt the need to write down the lines "what happened to perfect?" "i'll keep my eyes closed so you can't find out the truth" and "repeat, repeat slower. i can't compromise lies" ...looking at those now, the last 2 don't make any sense. but i'd like to think i meant to write "i'll keep my eyes closed so i can't find out the truth". or thats what i ended up doing, which is what made me scared. so after conan, i turned off the tv, pushed play on my cd player, and turned it up really loud so i couldn't hear anything else except tbs. i closed my eyes, and then got the wicked paranoia that there were people or things or something all around my bed. stuff that was trying to kill me, that could never die, like a vampire? but 50 times scarier seeming, yet i refused to open my eyes to prove to myself there was nothing there. so i was trying to shake it off and eventually fell asleep. i don't like half scaring myself to sleep, so why i did i'll never know. of course this doesn't sound scary. whatever. only i'd understand.i don't get scared easily. and i want milky to come home.
its not even 11 yet, but i think i'm gonna go to bed soon. or maybe write a little bit first. speaking of write, that story i said i was gonna write based on that dream? yah, im much too lazy to do that. i only did the pre-story/intro thing. and that was 9 days ago.. i guess i'll post it anyway:
It's true. People are dying all the time. Loved ones or strangers, one cannot help but feel at least a slight amount of sorrow when s/he hears of a death. Unless that person is heartless. But what if they aren't heartless? What if they cannot feel? What if there is so much death and chaos; and due to the natural selfish nature of human beings; one cannot show sympathy for every death without dying him/herself? There is only so much time to escape. There are only so many wrong moves one can make; and that number decreases with each added detail.
Our best bet is to run. Run as far away as we can. There's no turning back; there's not time for that. There's even less time for regret. We can't give up, and must take our chances. Run. Run far away. Don't look back and go.i must admit.. i do like that so far.. but.. ehh... i barely ever get comments. especially when i say 'comment if ...' ah well. maybe people will listen if they like that? i hate how lj doesn't let you have indented paragraphs.
and: kelly said she'll come to apo with me after finch, and annie can sleep over that sunday and jacqui most likely can, and as long as they've got cash we'll accidently end up at fall out boy. you know you want me there. <3
but, i best shut up now. don't want to end up jinxing stuff.
its not even 11 yet, but i think i'm gonna go to bed soon. or maybe write a little bit first. speaking of write, that story i said i was gonna write based on that dream? yah, im much too lazy to do that. i only did the pre-story/intro thing. and that was 9 days ago.. i guess i'll post it anyway:
It's true. People are dying all the time. Loved ones or strangers, one cannot help but feel at least a slight amount of sorrow when s/he hears of a death. Unless that person is heartless. But what if they aren't heartless? What if they cannot feel? What if there is so much death and chaos; and due to the natural selfish nature of human beings; one cannot show sympathy for every death without dying him/herself? There is only so much time to escape. There are only so many wrong moves one can make; and that number decreases with each added detail.
Our best bet is to run. Run as far away as we can. There's no turning back; there's not time for that. There's even less time for regret. We can't give up, and must take our chances. Run. Run far away. Don't look back and go.i must admit.. i do like that so far.. but.. ehh... i barely ever get comments. especially when i say 'comment if ...' ah well. maybe people will listen if they like that? i hate how lj doesn't let you have indented paragraphs.
and: kelly said she'll come to apo with me after finch, and annie can sleep over that sunday and jacqui most likely can, and as long as they've got cash we'll accidently end up at fall out boy. you know you want me there. <3
but, i best shut up now. don't want to end up jinxing stuff.