The first section sets things up so well; I love that Raven is still becoming accustomed to human life. Also, it's so easy to miss "making other people's faces at herself in the reflective surface of the window," but when you catch it it's so wonderful.
>>There's something about Charles in the grip of a new discovery, be it a scientific concept or a untasted variety of cake; his whole body becomes a canvas for excitement, until you can't help but feel drawn in.<<
This is like how Raven accepts the ACTUALLY KIND OF TERRIBLE thing he's just done. INTERESTING, INTERESTING.
I also very much like that you systematized Charles' telepathy into four branches. I love all the experiments! Experiments are the best.
>>Raven picks and chooses the people she'll consider family, and so far only Charles has made the cut.... )
I love, also, the two-transformation line. And your reminders of casual, sustained contact between Raven and Charles; reminders that they are, really and truly, fought for space in the back seat (so to speak) for two decades siblings.
"The thought seats itself in her mind: they were never our equals, before." ... D:
YEAH BUT THEN: IT IS THE "ASSEMBLE YOUR TEAM" PART! YOU KNOW HOW I FEEL ABOUT ASSEMBLING YOUR TEAM. YOU HAVE DONE EXCELLENTLY, ASSEMBLING YOUR TEAM.
"Charles inhales, his face luminous under the lights." This is just right.
"rocksalt smiles" PERFECTION!
"Raven's heart does a stupid leaping thing when she first walks in the door" <3 <3 <3
( ... )
"Alex and Sean talk enough shit about him as it is; better that they say it to his face." Oh, Raven. If I can retract the word from Oliver Wolf just for this one moment: Raven is completely, all the way to the bone, one hundred percent fierce. I love when she tries to teach what she knows to people she loves
( ... )
WOULD READ A FIC OF EQUAL LENGTH COMPRISED ENTIRELY OF YOUR DESCRIPTIONS OF ERIK'S EXPRESSIONS/VOICE!
"If it was the latter, it looked slow. It looked like she was concentrating on it." The shiver-inducing strength of this.
"She is stretching years of service from the muscles of her calves, discarding with the soft scale of her soles all the days she has spent dashing from table to table while Charles sends her little snippets of his day like postcards." Just wish to praise this again! <3
"big claw-foot tub and the lime-and-vanilla tiles" OMG, WHERE IS THIS BATH. HOW CAN I GET IN THIS BATH
( ... )
Excuse me while I ROLL AROUND IN YOUR MOFO ESSAY. Aaaaaaahhhhhh glorious.
clinical, intelligent, not generous is a good was of describing...every character I love writing? WELL OBSERVED. And you know I have to fiddle with the mechanics of these universes until logic appears (even if that takes A WHILE) so playing with Charles's powers and their development was a lot of fun
( ... )
>>There's something about Charles in the grip of a new discovery, be it a scientific concept or a untasted variety of cake; his whole body becomes a canvas for excitement, until you can't help but feel drawn in.<<
This is like how Raven accepts the ACTUALLY KIND OF TERRIBLE thing he's just done. INTERESTING, INTERESTING.
I also very much like that you systematized Charles' telepathy into four branches. I love all the experiments! Experiments are the best.
>>Raven picks and chooses the people she'll consider family, and so far only Charles has made the cut.... )
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"The thought seats itself in her mind: they were never our equals, before." ... D:
YEAH BUT THEN: IT IS THE "ASSEMBLE YOUR TEAM" PART! YOU KNOW HOW I FEEL ABOUT ASSEMBLING YOUR TEAM. YOU HAVE DONE EXCELLENTLY, ASSEMBLING YOUR TEAM.
"Charles inhales, his face luminous under the lights." This is just right.
"rocksalt smiles" PERFECTION!
"Raven's heart does a stupid leaping thing when she first walks in the door" <3 <3 <3 ( ... )
Reply
Reply
"If it was the latter, it looked slow. It looked like she was concentrating on it." The shiver-inducing strength of this.
"She is stretching years of service from the muscles of her calves, discarding with the soft scale of her soles all the days she has spent dashing from table to table while Charles sends her little snippets of his day like postcards." Just wish to praise this again! <3
"big claw-foot tub and the lime-and-vanilla tiles" OMG, WHERE IS THIS BATH. HOW CAN I GET IN THIS BATH ( ... )
Reply
clinical, intelligent, not generous is a good was of describing...every character I love writing? WELL OBSERVED. And you know I have to fiddle with the mechanics of these universes until logic appears (even if that takes A WHILE) so playing with Charles's powers and their development was a lot of fun ( ... )
Reply
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