"Alex and Sean talk enough shit about him as it is; better that they say it to his face." Oh, Raven. If I can retract the word from Oliver Wolf just for this one moment: Raven is completely, all the way to the bone, one hundred percent fierce. I love when she tries to teach what she knows to people she loves.
And I also love, of course, Raven's embarrassing stories about Charles' keg stands/other disasters! And I'm now imagining, very clearly, Charles at open mic night, nodding along to whoever's talking about her SINGLE TEAR with EXTREME and slightly drunken SINCERITY.
"Charles has always worn that kind of happiness openly." Somehow I find this really striking. It follows that the only way to deduce Charles' unhappiness (or absence of happiness) is by looking for its opposite and not finding it... That seems very subtle. It tells a lot about Raven, and about Charles. And Charles-with-Erik, by extension. Particularly with reference to the previous section about showing off.
FIST PUMP for the little note of DARWIN LOVE! Darwin deserves all the love. ALL OF IT!
Also interesting to me is that Charles would never have the second of these thoughts: "did we do this, somehow, without meaning to?/will anyone believe us if we didn't?" More essential difference!
"she'd always hoped she would be level-headed in a crisis, but she isn't -- she's terrified and every organ in her body feels sick and sour with panic." This is tremendous, and reminds me of course of the earlier scene with the attempted rape, except that this time there is no stroke of genius... The wish for Charles, though, comes back stronger, in detail.
""What --" says Sean at the familiar sound of Alex turning Havoc, but Raven grabs his arm and twists him against the wall before he can go back through the doorway./"No," she snaps. "Wait."" Everything about this!
I CAN'T COMMENT ON THE REST OF THE SCENE, it's too distressing! sdjfahgfhdgsghkjl;liutyrtedfvcmnbvn,bn.zcxvljktykrterotyopiu;lkhcxccnbmv,n./ howwwww can this even be real?! But I will say how much I love the reality you've given something that seems very offhand in the film, again. And I love that you go (escape?) from that into a childhood SCIENCE!!! memory.
This line is intensely lonely: "It's just them, Raven thinks. Just them, aligning around her until she can't name north."
"a true statement, but not really the truth. They've found a home ground, now, and the CIA must put up with being their guests for a change." This shows very well the way Charles has of dealing with people that Raven imagined so vividly in the scene previous; the authority she sought to--free? allow? by naming him Professor.
Raven's imagining what it's like to be other people is constant and good; again I see a very powerful, questioning mind at work here.
And you know what I think of the training scene! :) Will add that I'm impressed by your ability to write action in a way that is clear and exciting. And that, somehow, I could pick out from this small line alone that it was you writing "Charles takes a consciously dramatic sip of his tea."
The part about Moira is excellent; all of it. It makes me feel so much for her and Raven both! And I think the part about Erik's past much improved. Raven's metaphors here are all hard-hitting, by the way.
I love Raven's posing as Erik, and your reading of Erik's smile, and of Raven's, and Charles'--OMG it is just smile o'clock at the Xavier mansion I guess!!
"Charles surprises her: he doesn't look guilty, or sorrowful, even for a moment. Instead that volatile wonder lingers and ignites." What is not stated openly here but captivates me is the connection between this and the science experiments from earlier in your fic; the linking-up of what's happening between Charles and Erik with what is at once most beautiful and joyful and what is frightening, unexamined, amoral (or pre-moral?), in Charles. Perhaps I could just say unconscious...
WOULD READ A FIC OF EQUAL LENGTH COMPRISED ENTIRELY OF YOUR DESCRIPTIONS OF ERIK'S EXPRESSIONS/VOICE!
"If it was the latter, it looked slow. It looked like she was concentrating on it." The shiver-inducing strength of this.
"She is stretching years of service from the muscles of her calves, discarding with the soft scale of her soles all the days she has spent dashing from table to table while Charles sends her little snippets of his day like postcards." Just wish to praise this again! <3
"big claw-foot tub and the lime-and-vanilla tiles" OMG, WHERE IS THIS BATH. HOW CAN I GET IN THIS BATH?!
"coiled, determined set to his shoulders that Raven recognises from hundreds of moments immediately before she's ended up gasping on the ground" Man, just what I said about your descriptions of Erik already--!
"the choke of surprise and the hiss of satisfaction" This so clearly encapsulates the 'complicated feelings'. Also, I think this little Charles/Erik scene is miles better than almost anything I've read anywhere, and it is so brief and so quick. Envy! And I still think "The sound sings in the room." is a wonderful little sentence. The rest...you know my feelings about the rest!
The bits about compliments when Raven contemplates the serum are very sharp and good.
"She's her own personal piece of surrealism, shapeshifting mutant and almost proud, waiting here in the bed of a man who's probably in love with her brother."
"Raven will be anything, tonight. She can be anything"
I think we went over everything from here on out in quite a lot of detail, but regardless... I don't think I said how perfect the tiny scene is where Raven "goes to stop a war" as herself. And I love her screaming sibling-fear and anger and satisfaction; it's very vivid, very real and powerful, and, I think we both know, heartfelt.
(On a very very minor note, I'm super impressed that you have the actual dang BOAT NAME in here!)
Your description of Charles, then of Erik and Charles, on the beach is so beautiful and sad... you've really captured the look and feel of the film, the hugeness of the sky in particular. And that attachment of the word "human" to "capacity for hate" is VERY SNEAKY BUT I SEE IT, FAHYE!
CANNOT TALK ANY MORE ABOUT THE REST, but: LOVE. LOVE.
Excuse me while I ROLL AROUND IN YOUR MOFO ESSAY. Aaaaaaahhhhhh glorious.
clinical, intelligent, not generous is a good was of describing...every character I love writing? WELL OBSERVED. And you know I have to fiddle with the mechanics of these universes until logic appears (even if that takes A WHILE) so playing with Charles's powers and their development was a lot of fun.
I DID NOT KNOW BALLIOL WAS THE COLLEGE OF YOUR DREAMS. I like it because it was Lord Peter Wimsey's college!
I do think that Charles through Raven's eyes is a nicer person than Charles as I see him personally, but Raven can be a very biased judge for all that she's a keen observer. Charles is one of Her People, no matter what he does.
FIERCE. FUCK YES. Oliver Wolf would not argue with that assessment. (The crossover's title: Oliver Wolf Discovers The Turtleneck.)
The thing about the lack of happiness comes from James McAvoy's performance, which I think was amazing for the brief spots of smugness or enthusiasm or self-congratulation or humour, but only occasionally tipped over into something that looked like happiness. Fassbender too, obviously, but it's all the more striking in Charles as a character because he's less overtly Alone And Angry, he's just...missing something.
Moira :( I really don't know how to feel about her; first time through she was unoffensive and occasionally lovely, second time through I was watching with my Raven-brain on and her lack of connection with anyone in the movie, ANYONE, apart from Charles, is astounding. I think she just doesn't know how, and is so grateful for Charles with his smooth inclusive manner and his constant attention that she doesn't make the effort, it doesn't seem necessary.
SMILE O'CLOCK. I at one stage considered going through and counting the number of smiles and then trying to remove half of them, but no. No! SMILES ARE IMPORTANT.
I wanted to write so much more Charles/Erik because I explored them the LEAST and I do, in fact, have many feelings. Many! OH WELL NEXT TIME EH :D
(I googled the actual dang boat name, because I knew it had one. Charles says it, "The crew of the Aral Sea are all dead.")
Happy birthday, Cosmas! You are one of the best things that the world has given me :)
And I also love, of course, Raven's embarrassing stories about Charles' keg stands/other disasters! And I'm now imagining, very clearly, Charles at open mic night, nodding along to whoever's talking about her SINGLE TEAR with EXTREME and slightly drunken SINCERITY.
"Charles has always worn that kind of happiness openly." Somehow I find this really striking. It follows that the only way to deduce Charles' unhappiness (or absence of happiness) is by looking for its opposite and not finding it... That seems very subtle. It tells a lot about Raven, and about Charles. And Charles-with-Erik, by extension. Particularly with reference to the previous section about showing off.
FIST PUMP for the little note of DARWIN LOVE! Darwin deserves all the love. ALL OF IT!
Also interesting to me is that Charles would never have the second of these thoughts: "did we do this, somehow, without meaning to?/will anyone believe us if we didn't?" More essential difference!
"she'd always hoped she would be level-headed in a crisis, but she isn't -- she's terrified and every organ in her body feels sick and sour with panic." This is tremendous, and reminds me of course of the earlier scene with the attempted rape, except that this time there is no stroke of genius... The wish for Charles, though, comes back stronger, in detail.
""What --" says Sean at the familiar sound of Alex turning Havoc, but Raven grabs his arm and twists him against the wall before he can go back through the doorway./"No," she snaps. "Wait."" Everything about this!
I CAN'T COMMENT ON THE REST OF THE SCENE, it's too distressing! sdjfahgfhdgsghkjl;liutyrtedfvcmnbvn,bn.zcxvljktykrterotyopiu;lkhcxccnbmv,n./ howwwww can this even be real?! But I will say how much I love the reality you've given something that seems very offhand in the film, again. And I love that you go (escape?) from that into a childhood SCIENCE!!! memory.
This line is intensely lonely: "It's just them, Raven thinks. Just them, aligning around her until she can't name north."
"a true statement, but not really the truth. They've found a home ground, now, and the CIA must put up with being their guests for a change." This shows very well the way Charles has of dealing with people that Raven imagined so vividly in the scene previous; the authority she sought to--free? allow? by naming him Professor.
Raven's imagining what it's like to be other people is constant and good; again I see a very powerful, questioning mind at work here.
And you know what I think of the training scene! :) Will add that I'm impressed by your ability to write action in a way that is clear and exciting. And that, somehow, I could pick out from this small line alone that it was you writing "Charles takes a consciously dramatic sip of his tea."
The part about Moira is excellent; all of it. It makes me feel so much for her and Raven both! And I think the part about Erik's past much improved. Raven's metaphors here are all hard-hitting, by the way.
I love Raven's posing as Erik, and your reading of Erik's smile, and of Raven's, and Charles'--OMG it is just smile o'clock at the Xavier mansion I guess!!
"Charles surprises her: he doesn't look guilty, or sorrowful, even for a moment. Instead that volatile wonder lingers and ignites." What is not stated openly here but captivates me is the connection between this and the science experiments from earlier in your fic; the linking-up of what's happening between Charles and Erik with what is at once most beautiful and joyful and what is frightening, unexamined, amoral (or pre-moral?), in Charles. Perhaps I could just say unconscious...
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"If it was the latter, it looked slow. It looked like she was concentrating on it." The shiver-inducing strength of this.
"She is stretching years of service from the muscles of her calves, discarding with the soft scale of her soles all the days she has spent dashing from table to table while Charles sends her little snippets of his day like postcards." Just wish to praise this again! <3
"big claw-foot tub and the lime-and-vanilla tiles" OMG, WHERE IS THIS BATH. HOW CAN I GET IN THIS BATH?!
"coiled, determined set to his shoulders that Raven recognises from hundreds of moments immediately before she's ended up gasping on the ground" Man, just what I said about your descriptions of Erik already--!
"the choke of surprise and the hiss of satisfaction" This so clearly encapsulates the 'complicated feelings'. Also, I think this little Charles/Erik scene is miles better than almost anything I've read anywhere, and it is so brief and so quick. Envy! And I still think "The sound sings in the room." is a wonderful little sentence. The rest...you know my feelings about the rest!
The bits about compliments when Raven contemplates the serum are very sharp and good.
"She's her own personal piece of surrealism, shapeshifting mutant and almost proud, waiting here in the bed of a man who's probably in love with her brother."
"Raven will be anything, tonight. She can be anything"
I think we went over everything from here on out in quite a lot of detail, but regardless... I don't think I said how perfect the tiny scene is where Raven "goes to stop a war" as herself. And I love her screaming sibling-fear and anger and satisfaction; it's very vivid, very real and powerful, and, I think we both know, heartfelt.
(On a very very minor note, I'm super impressed that you have the actual dang BOAT NAME in here!)
Your description of Charles, then of Erik and Charles, on the beach is so beautiful and sad... you've really captured the look and feel of the film, the hugeness of the sky in particular. And that attachment of the word "human" to "capacity for hate" is VERY SNEAKY BUT I SEE IT, FAHYE!
CANNOT TALK ANY MORE ABOUT THE REST, but: LOVE. LOVE.
BEST BIRTHDAY EVER.
THANK YOU!!!
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clinical, intelligent, not generous is a good was of describing...every character I love writing? WELL OBSERVED. And you know I have to fiddle with the mechanics of these universes until logic appears (even if that takes A WHILE) so playing with Charles's powers and their development was a lot of fun.
I DID NOT KNOW BALLIOL WAS THE COLLEGE OF YOUR DREAMS. I like it because it was Lord Peter Wimsey's college!
I do think that Charles through Raven's eyes is a nicer person than Charles as I see him personally, but Raven can be a very biased judge for all that she's a keen observer. Charles is one of Her People, no matter what he does.
FIERCE. FUCK YES. Oliver Wolf would not argue with that assessment. (The crossover's title: Oliver Wolf Discovers The Turtleneck.)
The thing about the lack of happiness comes from James McAvoy's performance, which I think was amazing for the brief spots of smugness or enthusiasm or self-congratulation or humour, but only occasionally tipped over into something that looked like happiness. Fassbender too, obviously, but it's all the more striking in Charles as a character because he's less overtly Alone And Angry, he's just...missing something.
Moira :( I really don't know how to feel about her; first time through she was unoffensive and occasionally lovely, second time through I was watching with my Raven-brain on and her lack of connection with anyone in the movie, ANYONE, apart from Charles, is astounding. I think she just doesn't know how, and is so grateful for Charles with his smooth inclusive manner and his constant attention that she doesn't make the effort, it doesn't seem necessary.
SMILE O'CLOCK. I at one stage considered going through and counting the number of smiles and then trying to remove half of them, but no. No! SMILES ARE IMPORTANT.
I wanted to write so much more Charles/Erik because I explored them the LEAST and I do, in fact, have many feelings. Many! OH WELL NEXT TIME EH :D
(I googled the actual dang boat name, because I knew it had one. Charles says it, "The crew of the Aral Sea are all dead.")
Happy birthday, Cosmas! You are one of the best things that the world has given me :)
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