...:::sadness:::...
I'm so sad and no one is around to notice that. EVERYTHING is getting too me. I'm stuck here staring at these four walls day after day and its pretty much all my fault. I can't even call Brandon because he's working odd hours and i don't want to bother him. I feel like my whole world is just upside down and slowly trying to get back to being right side up. Which ever way that was supposed to be. Nobody has a clue what i'm feeling or thinking or anything like that. I really don't expect anyone to know exactly what i'm thinking but it would be nice if someone had a clue. Its as if i'm supposed to be like "oh everything is cool now because brandon wants to stay with me." In a way i suppose it is cool but at the sametime it's very very hard for me to just be cool/normal with him right now. Surprisingly he gets that and he says he won't rush me or anything like that and that he'll even wait as long as it takes for me to be ok. It's like nothing in my life is going like i thought it would be. I guess i have a hand in that since i seem to always fuck up with everything. I'm sure many of you see that already. Just wish i could point and be all like fix that damn it and a genie would pop up and just fix it. I just want things to be ok.... hell i'd settle for medioaker(i know i probably didn't spell that right). I just want to go one fuckin day without being depressed about something or being told something new that i really could have done without hearing. But what is a girl to do?....
I see a patern forming here don't you?
I see a patern forming here don't you?