OH COCKS I FORGOT THE MEME LAST NIGHT.
Day One: Ten things you want to say to ten different people right now.
Day Two: Nine things about yourself.
Day Three PART ONE: Eight ways to win your heart.
Day Four: Seven things that cross your mind a lot.
Day Five: Six things you wish you’d never done.
Day Six: Five people who mean a lot (in no order whatsoever)
Day Seven: Four turn offs.
Day Eight: Three turn ons.
Day Nine: Two images that describe your life right now, and why.
Day Ten: One confession
WOOING TECHNIQUE #1: Be WITTY. Be CLEVER. Be GENTLEMANLY(Or ladylike I guess.) You can be the most handsome dude in the world, but if you sound like joe schmoe it will somehow manage to do nothing for me. On the other hand, you could have a face like a plague doctor mask(well that's actually a turn on, but you get my point,) and spin pure poetry with every word, and I'll be slobbering all over you in two seconds FLAT.
WOOING TECHNIQUE #2: Speaking of which, you NEED a sense of humour if you're to last more than a second or two with me. This isn't just because I find it totally hot, mind. Truth is, serious business and I have not been on speaking terms for an age now, and any humourless bastard which was exposed to me for extended periods of time would likely wind up utterly mad, or worse. ;D
WOOING TECHNIQUE #3: Enjoy conversing about really ridiculous things for hours on end. As odd as it seems, this is really what I look for in a guy/girl. Not sex(there's hookers for that) and CERTAINLY not marriage. Just two dudes, possibly blitzed off their ass, possibly just acting like it, talking about three-toed sloths or whatever at four in the morning. That, my friends, is TRUE LOVE.
WOOING TECHNIQUE #4: Well, now that you know how to show up on my hot radar first off the bat, I'm betting you're going to want to know how to keep me around, hmm? Well, that's the thing. You probably won't, at least not permanently. I'm not a forever kind of guy, me. Whatever passes for relationships 'round these parts is probably going to be as passionate as it is temporary. I work far better as some sort of rebound fling than a potential soulmate, so with that in mind just enjoy the fleeting beauty while it's there! :D
WOOING TECHNIQUE #5:In a similar vein, for the love of all that is good and holy don't try to control or change me too much! Half the romance movies in the world seem to support the idea that if you can't FIND someone who's your perfect match, you can just CRAFT them out of the rough-hewn cloth of the available single population. And while this might work on some, the only thing it's gonna do to me is tell me it's a good idea to pack my bags. I'm sorry, but if it comes down to you or the snuggie, I'm going to stick with that hideous lump of fleece every time. (Note: I do not actually own a snuggie.) So really, the best thing would be to just learn to coexist with our differences, or at worst, go and get another apartment.
WOOING TECHNIQUE #6: On a more positive note, DO NOT BE AFRAID OF GIFTS. >D I will giftspam the fuck out of you, beaning you over the head with freshly-purchased plushies when you LEAST EXPECT IT. If you so much as casually mention some sort of material goods you enjoy, you can basically EXPECT some version of it to be wrapped up in pretty paper and lobbed at you at some point in the future. But do not run. Do not hide. Just embrace the ever-increasing pile of trinkets as they slowly take over your house.
WOOING TECHNIQUE #7: I don't know why I waited until the penultimate slot to even talk about this, given it's the most important one. I'M POLYAMOROUS. As in, I can adore however many people at once. There ain't no such thing as one true love in this quarter. Ten true loves, maybe. Twenty? Well shit, I have no idea how I'd keep track of all those guys, but there's always the possibility! So in other words, if you want an existence with me to do anything that isn't imploding into a thick angsty goo, you'll probably have to at the very least understand and be okay with polyamory. On the bright side, of course, this means that if you want your own personal harem, you won't catch any trouble from me about it. :D
WOOING TECHNIQUE #8: If you STILL want a piece of this even after reading ALL of that(you madman), you're probably going to have to come to me. And even if you do, don't expect much. At this point I've decided to deem myself entirely too weird for relationships(CAN YOU SEE WHY), and since I can get most of what I want out of romance without having to enter into one(see #3), when I fancy someone I generally just spare the poor bloke the trouble and not mention it at all. So, if you actually were odd enough to like me despite all this, the only way it'll come to light is if you actually bring it up. And if you do so choose to, I have only these words to say: I'M SORRY. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD GO FIND SOMEONE MORE REASONABLE. D:
Well, now that THAT nightmare is over, in more positive news, I HAVE CONQUERED CHRISTMAS. >8D Well, at least the packaging and shipping gifts quadrant of it. They all get mailed out today, and then I have nothing more to do besides WAIT FOR THE GLEEFUL CRIES OF GRATITUDE TO ROOOOOOOLL ON IN. B > Awww yeah. I am totally the emperor of Christmas.
Day Two: Nine things about yourself.
Day Three PART ONE: Eight ways to win your heart.
Day Four: Seven things that cross your mind a lot.
Day Five: Six things you wish you’d never done.
Day Six: Five people who mean a lot (in no order whatsoever)
Day Seven: Four turn offs.
Day Eight: Three turn ons.
Day Nine: Two images that describe your life right now, and why.
Day Ten: One confession
WOOING TECHNIQUE #1: Be WITTY. Be CLEVER. Be GENTLEMANLY(Or ladylike I guess.) You can be the most handsome dude in the world, but if you sound like joe schmoe it will somehow manage to do nothing for me. On the other hand, you could have a face like a plague doctor mask(well that's actually a turn on, but you get my point,) and spin pure poetry with every word, and I'll be slobbering all over you in two seconds FLAT.
WOOING TECHNIQUE #2: Speaking of which, you NEED a sense of humour if you're to last more than a second or two with me. This isn't just because I find it totally hot, mind. Truth is, serious business and I have not been on speaking terms for an age now, and any humourless bastard which was exposed to me for extended periods of time would likely wind up utterly mad, or worse. ;D
WOOING TECHNIQUE #3: Enjoy conversing about really ridiculous things for hours on end. As odd as it seems, this is really what I look for in a guy/girl. Not sex(there's hookers for that) and CERTAINLY not marriage. Just two dudes, possibly blitzed off their ass, possibly just acting like it, talking about three-toed sloths or whatever at four in the morning. That, my friends, is TRUE LOVE.
WOOING TECHNIQUE #4: Well, now that you know how to show up on my hot radar first off the bat, I'm betting you're going to want to know how to keep me around, hmm? Well, that's the thing. You probably won't, at least not permanently. I'm not a forever kind of guy, me. Whatever passes for relationships 'round these parts is probably going to be as passionate as it is temporary. I work far better as some sort of rebound fling than a potential soulmate, so with that in mind just enjoy the fleeting beauty while it's there! :D
WOOING TECHNIQUE #5:In a similar vein, for the love of all that is good and holy don't try to control or change me too much! Half the romance movies in the world seem to support the idea that if you can't FIND someone who's your perfect match, you can just CRAFT them out of the rough-hewn cloth of the available single population. And while this might work on some, the only thing it's gonna do to me is tell me it's a good idea to pack my bags. I'm sorry, but if it comes down to you or the snuggie, I'm going to stick with that hideous lump of fleece every time. (Note: I do not actually own a snuggie.) So really, the best thing would be to just learn to coexist with our differences, or at worst, go and get another apartment.
WOOING TECHNIQUE #6: On a more positive note, DO NOT BE AFRAID OF GIFTS. >D I will giftspam the fuck out of you, beaning you over the head with freshly-purchased plushies when you LEAST EXPECT IT. If you so much as casually mention some sort of material goods you enjoy, you can basically EXPECT some version of it to be wrapped up in pretty paper and lobbed at you at some point in the future. But do not run. Do not hide. Just embrace the ever-increasing pile of trinkets as they slowly take over your house.
WOOING TECHNIQUE #7: I don't know why I waited until the penultimate slot to even talk about this, given it's the most important one. I'M POLYAMOROUS. As in, I can adore however many people at once. There ain't no such thing as one true love in this quarter. Ten true loves, maybe. Twenty? Well shit, I have no idea how I'd keep track of all those guys, but there's always the possibility! So in other words, if you want an existence with me to do anything that isn't imploding into a thick angsty goo, you'll probably have to at the very least understand and be okay with polyamory. On the bright side, of course, this means that if you want your own personal harem, you won't catch any trouble from me about it. :D
WOOING TECHNIQUE #8: If you STILL want a piece of this even after reading ALL of that(you madman), you're probably going to have to come to me. And even if you do, don't expect much. At this point I've decided to deem myself entirely too weird for relationships(CAN YOU SEE WHY), and since I can get most of what I want out of romance without having to enter into one(see #3), when I fancy someone I generally just spare the poor bloke the trouble and not mention it at all. So, if you actually were odd enough to like me despite all this, the only way it'll come to light is if you actually bring it up. And if you do so choose to, I have only these words to say: I'M SORRY. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD GO FIND SOMEONE MORE REASONABLE. D:
Well, now that THAT nightmare is over, in more positive news, I HAVE CONQUERED CHRISTMAS. >8D Well, at least the packaging and shipping gifts quadrant of it. They all get mailed out today, and then I have nothing more to do besides WAIT FOR THE GLEEFUL CRIES OF GRATITUDE TO ROOOOOOOLL ON IN. B > Awww yeah. I am totally the emperor of Christmas.