(no subject)
Alright. Just so everyone knows, I'm alive.
Last week was the worst. I couldn't swallow sunday-thursday, the moment my tonsils finally started to "unswell" and "depuss" and sinuses went haywire. I was so conjested. It was disgusting. Friday, I took a shower and two baths, cause that was the only time I could breath...with the steam and hot water on my body and a hot towel on my face...
Friday night, as I was laying in the bath...thunder was echoing in the air, and it started to rain. I layed there and cried and prayed. recited a little chant for the goddess to allow the rain to wash away this sickness...to at least let me breathe again. I woke up saturday morning, still slightly conjested but amazingly better.
I don't want to say I'm 'better'. I still have mono. My body is still exhausted. It's like...I'm tired, but my mind is still going, still alert...but my body, my muscles...are just drained. I ate more today than I have eaten in the last three weeks. I hate 1 1/2 taquitos, a few spoonfulls of mac and cheese, about ten chocolate chip cookies, and about three pieces of sushi. my hair is falling out right now, cause I haven't eaten hardly anything, so I'm hoping if I start eating now, I can stop it before it gets too bad...
Kirbey came so see me today ^_^. that's where I got the coookies and mac and cheese. we talked, watched Saw, and talked some more...we talked a lot about school.
The other week, right before I went to the hospital...I had been talking a lot to my mom about school. I wanted to try to take a class this semester...and maybe try apply at a couple colleges this year. She basically said that I wouldn't be able to handle it. And maybe she was right...I mean shoot, I just got mono. I haven't been at work for over a week, and won't be returning until sunday...(though my dad thinks I should try going back to work this week)...There are so many people at school, I'd be exposed to so much more, how sick will I get?
But talking to Kirbey...she gets a $1,200 check from financial aid every three months while she's at school...that would be enough to cover my insurance and car payment while I'm at school...If I were to get a part time job, just enough for maybe $300 a month, that would be enough for me to live off of. I mean, everything I need would be at school...and she said that you have a lot more time. I probably will, especially since I don't really make a lot of friends, I wouldn't be bothered by them so much...
I don't know. I need to do something. I'm just so frustrated...I hate being 20 and living with my mom, working in a job I'm not happy with. I don't know why I'm so unhappy there. It's a good job, good people...it's just not enough for me. I need more. I have to do something more with my life, I just have to.
So, I've made a decision. I'm going to take the SATs. I'm going to apply to college. I'll probably get rejected. But if I get accepted...then I'll take it from there...Erin, can I borrow your SAT study books? and by the way...how do you even sign up for the SATs?
What colleges?
Evergreen
Western
This college in michigan (like 10 miles from my grandma's house)
I don't know if there are any others I'll apply to...
So that's my decision. I'm going to follow through with this. I am. I have to.
I think my dad is going to take me out to madigan tomorrow. Sign me up for healthcare and get me an appointment to get my tonsils removed. hopefully that'll help. I only have about 15 more pounds to loose then we're going to try going off the metforman. That's right, I rock, I've lost almost 30 pounds, cause I'm just that cool.
Erin's busy with her new boy, plus school starts for her soon. Tasha and maria live up in auburn and gas prices at through the roof...Kirbey's going back to school. Nikki, Sally, Katie...they're all gone...I have no friends :(((.
Alright. I'm going to either go to bed or watch another movie...bai.
Last week was the worst. I couldn't swallow sunday-thursday, the moment my tonsils finally started to "unswell" and "depuss" and sinuses went haywire. I was so conjested. It was disgusting. Friday, I took a shower and two baths, cause that was the only time I could breath...with the steam and hot water on my body and a hot towel on my face...
Friday night, as I was laying in the bath...thunder was echoing in the air, and it started to rain. I layed there and cried and prayed. recited a little chant for the goddess to allow the rain to wash away this sickness...to at least let me breathe again. I woke up saturday morning, still slightly conjested but amazingly better.
I don't want to say I'm 'better'. I still have mono. My body is still exhausted. It's like...I'm tired, but my mind is still going, still alert...but my body, my muscles...are just drained. I ate more today than I have eaten in the last three weeks. I hate 1 1/2 taquitos, a few spoonfulls of mac and cheese, about ten chocolate chip cookies, and about three pieces of sushi. my hair is falling out right now, cause I haven't eaten hardly anything, so I'm hoping if I start eating now, I can stop it before it gets too bad...
Kirbey came so see me today ^_^. that's where I got the coookies and mac and cheese. we talked, watched Saw, and talked some more...we talked a lot about school.
The other week, right before I went to the hospital...I had been talking a lot to my mom about school. I wanted to try to take a class this semester...and maybe try apply at a couple colleges this year. She basically said that I wouldn't be able to handle it. And maybe she was right...I mean shoot, I just got mono. I haven't been at work for over a week, and won't be returning until sunday...(though my dad thinks I should try going back to work this week)...There are so many people at school, I'd be exposed to so much more, how sick will I get?
But talking to Kirbey...she gets a $1,200 check from financial aid every three months while she's at school...that would be enough to cover my insurance and car payment while I'm at school...If I were to get a part time job, just enough for maybe $300 a month, that would be enough for me to live off of. I mean, everything I need would be at school...and she said that you have a lot more time. I probably will, especially since I don't really make a lot of friends, I wouldn't be bothered by them so much...
I don't know. I need to do something. I'm just so frustrated...I hate being 20 and living with my mom, working in a job I'm not happy with. I don't know why I'm so unhappy there. It's a good job, good people...it's just not enough for me. I need more. I have to do something more with my life, I just have to.
So, I've made a decision. I'm going to take the SATs. I'm going to apply to college. I'll probably get rejected. But if I get accepted...then I'll take it from there...Erin, can I borrow your SAT study books? and by the way...how do you even sign up for the SATs?
What colleges?
Evergreen
Western
This college in michigan (like 10 miles from my grandma's house)
I don't know if there are any others I'll apply to...
So that's my decision. I'm going to follow through with this. I am. I have to.
I think my dad is going to take me out to madigan tomorrow. Sign me up for healthcare and get me an appointment to get my tonsils removed. hopefully that'll help. I only have about 15 more pounds to loose then we're going to try going off the metforman. That's right, I rock, I've lost almost 30 pounds, cause I'm just that cool.
Erin's busy with her new boy, plus school starts for her soon. Tasha and maria live up in auburn and gas prices at through the roof...Kirbey's going back to school. Nikki, Sally, Katie...they're all gone...I have no friends :(((.
Alright. I'm going to either go to bed or watch another movie...bai.