The Care And Feeding of A SolsticeSinger
SolsticeSinger
SOLE-stiss-SING-ur
1. An agorophoic, anorexic, blind, feminist, lesbian, musical witch.
2. As indicated by the name, a lover of solstices and singing.
Habitat
SolsticeSingers thrive best in women-only spaces, particularly those populated by Feminist Dianic Witches or lesbians. Such spaces are rare. If not available: store your SolsticeSinger in a quiet house or apartment. Be sure to supply this space with more books than could ever be read, at least one cat, one or more dogs, peanut butter, white chocolate, and herbal tea. When taking one’s SolsticeSinger out, it is best to provide her with at least one human companion, as well as her canine companion, Caroline the service dog.
Feeding
Feeding SolsticeSingers is challenging. Too much insistence on feeding and SolsticeSingers will retreat and refuse food. Gentleness and patience are crucial. I recommend keeping an ample supply of SolsticeSinger-friendly foods around. Sometimes, SolsticeSingers will request that others decide what she will eat for a given meal. This requires a nuanced understanding of what SolsticeSingers will and will not eat. Keeping a written or mental list can be helpful, as can listening and watching carefully over time and adding to the list when new information becomes available.
If you shop for a SolsticeSinger your list should include:
Particulars
I did say that the feeding is not simple. Certain foods are not an option.
Speaking of chili,this is a prime example of how foods are liked by themselves but become “things” when combined with other foods. Corn is acceptable by itself, but notwhen it is proposed as an ingredient in chili.
SolsticeSinger Treats
There is a small list of foods SolsticeSingers will request, including anything with peanut butter, steak, fish, the chocolate that is hot, Pepsi,and cupcakes. I recommend being eager and speedy in procuring these treats when requested and anticipating wen they might be desired.
General Care
SolsticeSingers are relatively easy to care for. Self-sufficient in many ways, they are aware of what they need, and good at stating their needs. They travel with their own handmade soap and most other things they need. SolsticeSingers usually request food and supplies for their animals, rather than for themselves. If welcoming a SolsticeSinger into your home, there are two things to remember:
1. Have caffeinated soda, preferably Pepsi, available immediately upon the arrival of the SolsticeSinger (prior refrigeration not necessary).
2. Don’t tilt the cat. *
Benefits
There are many benefits to keeping a SolsticeSinger around, too numerous to list here. They include
SolsticeSinger Vocabulary (a work in progress)
* The first time I met a SolsticeSinger, I took the cat carrier out of her hand and turned to show her into the house. Next thing I knew, there was a hand on the carrier and a horrified exclamation of “You’re tilting her!”
In my defense, it was a slight tilt and the cat was still mostly sedated, but I was soon to learn that the superior race called feline is to be treated with the greatest care and respect. Of course, we are talking about the same cat who, the next time she was in her carrier,thrashed around in such an enraged way that she threw the carrier, herself stil inside, off the couch and onto the floor.
This has been my entry for therealljidol. We were asked to write about a fellow contestant who inspires us. I thought that since solstice_singer insisted rather forcefully that I join LJ Idol, not giving up until I agreed, I would write about her.
Should you have questions about SolsticeSingers, please ask in the comments. I will, as I am able, post updates to this guide.
SOLE-stiss-SING-ur
1. An agorophoic, anorexic, blind, feminist, lesbian, musical witch.
2. As indicated by the name, a lover of solstices and singing.
Habitat
SolsticeSingers thrive best in women-only spaces, particularly those populated by Feminist Dianic Witches or lesbians. Such spaces are rare. If not available: store your SolsticeSinger in a quiet house or apartment. Be sure to supply this space with more books than could ever be read, at least one cat, one or more dogs, peanut butter, white chocolate, and herbal tea. When taking one’s SolsticeSinger out, it is best to provide her with at least one human companion, as well as her canine companion, Caroline the service dog.
Feeding
Feeding SolsticeSingers is challenging. Too much insistence on feeding and SolsticeSingers will retreat and refuse food. Gentleness and patience are crucial. I recommend keeping an ample supply of SolsticeSinger-friendly foods around. Sometimes, SolsticeSingers will request that others decide what she will eat for a given meal. This requires a nuanced understanding of what SolsticeSingers will and will not eat. Keeping a written or mental list can be helpful, as can listening and watching carefully over time and adding to the list when new information becomes available.
If you shop for a SolsticeSinger your list should include:
- peanut butter
- marshmallow fluff
- Reese’s Pieces peanut butter candy
- steak or other meat
- fish, particularly salmon or tilapia
- whole milk
- fruit, particularly raspberries
- Wild Cherry Pepsi
Particulars
I did say that the feeding is not simple. Certain foods are not an option.
- Soup: for the simple reason that “things” float in it, which is “disgusting”
- sauces, gravies, or other things commonly put on meats or vegetables to make them fancy
- spaghetti and other Italian food. This used to be on the list of “yes” foods but was overused in the SolsticeSinger’s most recent habitat.
- oranges or anything containing orange juice: will cause a SolsticeSinger tremendous pain. Must be avoided at all costs.
- dark chocolate: just not liked
- Stir-fries and other foods that are mixed together. Chili and stew are exceptions
Speaking of chili,this is a prime example of how foods are liked by themselves but become “things” when combined with other foods. Corn is acceptable by itself, but notwhen it is proposed as an ingredient in chili.
SolsticeSinger Treats
There is a small list of foods SolsticeSingers will request, including anything with peanut butter, steak, fish, the chocolate that is hot, Pepsi,and cupcakes. I recommend being eager and speedy in procuring these treats when requested and anticipating wen they might be desired.
General Care
SolsticeSingers are relatively easy to care for. Self-sufficient in many ways, they are aware of what they need, and good at stating their needs. They travel with their own handmade soap and most other things they need. SolsticeSingers usually request food and supplies for their animals, rather than for themselves. If welcoming a SolsticeSinger into your home, there are two things to remember:
1. Have caffeinated soda, preferably Pepsi, available immediately upon the arrival of the SolsticeSinger (prior refrigeration not necessary).
2. Don’t tilt the cat. *
Benefits
There are many benefits to keeping a SolsticeSinger around, too numerous to list here. They include
- Her extensive knowledge of books. The most frequent question SolsticeSingers receive is: “What should I read”.
- Her fabulous music collection, mostly omprised of feminist and women’s folk music.
- Her fondness for and retention of inside jokes.
- Her detailed memory for past conversation.
- Her passion for discussing feminist issues.
- Her keen wit and even keener sense of the ridiculous.
- An ability to sing rivaled by few.
- …and….oh…she’s just fabulous company! What can I say!?!
SolsticeSinger Vocabulary (a work in progress)
- the chocolate that is hot: hot chocolate
- members of the superior race known as feline: cats
- the Ipod of purpleness: a purple Ipod
- things: anything that doesn’t belong, particularly in food.
* The first time I met a SolsticeSinger, I took the cat carrier out of her hand and turned to show her into the house. Next thing I knew, there was a hand on the carrier and a horrified exclamation of “You’re tilting her!”
In my defense, it was a slight tilt and the cat was still mostly sedated, but I was soon to learn that the superior race called feline is to be treated with the greatest care and respect. Of course, we are talking about the same cat who, the next time she was in her carrier,thrashed around in such an enraged way that she threw the carrier, herself stil inside, off the couch and onto the floor.
This has been my entry for therealljidol. We were asked to write about a fellow contestant who inspires us. I thought that since solstice_singer insisted rather forcefully that I join LJ Idol, not giving up until I agreed, I would write about her.
Should you have questions about SolsticeSingers, please ask in the comments. I will, as I am able, post updates to this guide.