Still living....I think.
Hey everyone.
Sorry bout the non-postiness-goo. I havn't had access to a computor due to the fact that i moved out and had no internet.
I hate myself right now. I really do. I'm letting him toy with me. I'm letting them all fucking toy with me. I've turned into they're play thing. They're batting me about like a kitten with a string between it's fragile little paws. They don't care that they're hurting me. None of them do. I might be pregnant. And the father....if I am.....Well no one knows where the father went.
He can't stop bringing up our pasts. ((Me and my roommate.)) Can't stop...always has to mention one of them. It's his power trip. He loves to feel like he's in power....just like Colin. And then last night. He tried to get me to... -- ugh...i don't even wan't to remember. Then today he tells me he's sorry. I told him no worry's....I'm used to being pushed around and talked down to. Used to the feeling of being for nothing more then a thrill or two then left for the next fuck to come along. He told me i shouldn't be. Ha...guess i shoulda been born a fucking guy huh?
I hate it. I hate the situation, I hate myself. I hate it all. When did i turn into this? I look at my reflection in the mirror, I see bloody tears or sorrow and pain. Tears of disgrace and abandonment. You'd figure i'd be used to that. But i guess you never do get used to it do you? I'll keep up the happy disposition, for Jessi and Gwen's sake. But deep inside. I'm so tired of being fucked with.
So far so good....no new cuts.....lets see how long that lasts....shall we??? Who wants to take bets on how long i shall make it. No new news about "FunBoy" but then again, no news of heather, or lindsay.....
Brian was a fuck up and apparently had bits and peices of my underwear stashed around his room, found he's a sex offender. Thats how many i haven't know about now? Two? Three? Agh....fuck the world.
See you all around.
Sarah
Sorry bout the non-postiness-goo. I havn't had access to a computor due to the fact that i moved out and had no internet.
I hate myself right now. I really do. I'm letting him toy with me. I'm letting them all fucking toy with me. I've turned into they're play thing. They're batting me about like a kitten with a string between it's fragile little paws. They don't care that they're hurting me. None of them do. I might be pregnant. And the father....if I am.....Well no one knows where the father went.
He can't stop bringing up our pasts. ((Me and my roommate.)) Can't stop...always has to mention one of them. It's his power trip. He loves to feel like he's in power....just like Colin. And then last night. He tried to get me to... -- ugh...i don't even wan't to remember. Then today he tells me he's sorry. I told him no worry's....I'm used to being pushed around and talked down to. Used to the feeling of being for nothing more then a thrill or two then left for the next fuck to come along. He told me i shouldn't be. Ha...guess i shoulda been born a fucking guy huh?
I hate it. I hate the situation, I hate myself. I hate it all. When did i turn into this? I look at my reflection in the mirror, I see bloody tears or sorrow and pain. Tears of disgrace and abandonment. You'd figure i'd be used to that. But i guess you never do get used to it do you? I'll keep up the happy disposition, for Jessi and Gwen's sake. But deep inside. I'm so tired of being fucked with.
So far so good....no new cuts.....lets see how long that lasts....shall we??? Who wants to take bets on how long i shall make it. No new news about "FunBoy" but then again, no news of heather, or lindsay.....
Brian was a fuck up and apparently had bits and peices of my underwear stashed around his room, found he's a sex offender. Thats how many i haven't know about now? Two? Three? Agh....fuck the world.
See you all around.
Sarah