(no subject)
"Sometimes we convey a desire for something we cannot have. This is unreciprocated love which is not love at all, but a yearning to experience a deeper aspect of the self. We yearn to feel complete, to be in relationship with someone who complements our soul, inspires us and brings out the best in us. We look for in others what we seek within ourselves."
Lately I am earning so deeply for completion that all I see in myself are flaws. For everything I am there seems to be two of something I lack, I am tired of climbing into bed and being alone when I wake up, tired of wondering why I'm not good enough and why those that I am good enough for are just not appealing to me. I've tried lowering my standards, I've tried to give people that don't appeal to me physically but do mentally a chance and I've tried letting my friends set me up with people. I went so long alone when I was younger so I don't know why for the last few years I have felt incomplete without someone but that is how I feel. Maybe I have too much of the 'mum' gene... I NEED to have someone to care for, someone to cook for, clean for and care for emotionally... I need someone to care for me and support me emotionally.
At the same time that I need all of these things I know if I get involved with someone I don;t want to be ith them all the time. Dispite wanting someon to be there a lot I could never be around someone all the time. I hat being clingy an being clung to. I need space and time with friends or time alone.
Maybe I just want too much.
I don't know... I'm just so tired of being alone.
Lately I am earning so deeply for completion that all I see in myself are flaws. For everything I am there seems to be two of something I lack, I am tired of climbing into bed and being alone when I wake up, tired of wondering why I'm not good enough and why those that I am good enough for are just not appealing to me. I've tried lowering my standards, I've tried to give people that don't appeal to me physically but do mentally a chance and I've tried letting my friends set me up with people. I went so long alone when I was younger so I don't know why for the last few years I have felt incomplete without someone but that is how I feel. Maybe I have too much of the 'mum' gene... I NEED to have someone to care for, someone to cook for, clean for and care for emotionally... I need someone to care for me and support me emotionally.
At the same time that I need all of these things I know if I get involved with someone I don;t want to be ith them all the time. Dispite wanting someon to be there a lot I could never be around someone all the time. I hat being clingy an being clung to. I need space and time with friends or time alone.
Maybe I just want too much.
I don't know... I'm just so tired of being alone.